My Lady of the Lantern

....I have faced two distinct moments of Ewwww with both the kids. I will spare you the details.  ....I have just gotten over sore throat/body ache/headache/ nasal congestion, and my periods started the same day that the symptoms emerged. I loved winters, but not this kind, the kind when I am shivering through.  ....M can now climb down, and get up on the sofa we have in our living room. He shows interest in stacking things, pulling down stuff and keeping it back.  ....Figlia was not able to (she just could not figure it out) drink using straws till just before her second birthday. M is already doing it, and doing it well. .... It was the first show of sibling rivalry by Figlia last evening. The tantrum was horrible. Eventually, she did calm down, and in the night, DH and I were able to tell her why her line of thinking was not justified. .... M has a runny nose, and it is just not going away. His colic is better though. 

I am little nervous composing this post. I don't want another mud-slinger out in the world. I don't want a grading of right and wrong. Hubby and I had another blowout yesterday morning. It started at the fact that Figlia would soon have her winter vacations. Gracy is not very good with coming on time. Her time to report home is 10:00 am but she is always a "little late". Hubby blew at the fact that this meant that his gym time would get shortened. He goes to gym a little after 9:30 am and reaches office from there by 11:00 am.  Now that Figlia would be home, he cannot leave till Gracy comes and takes charge - perfect context for a daily war.  And I was not willing to let him go at 6 a.m....leaving me alone with two kids who are half-awake, and chores that need to be done in the morning. Since he can push his sign-in time into the office. I spontaneously suggested that he could reach 15 minutes post the current time, and what difference would it be? Hubb...

M is 13 months today. I was reminiscing that today in 2014, hubby had sent cake to us (at City X) to celebrate him turning a month old. It seems so long ago. Yesterday, hubby and I were talking about how different the personalities of Figlia and M are. Figlia was naughty, and looked so. M is naughty and does not look so.  Figlia is far more open about her emotions than M, or atleast that is how it feels right now. And then M is just a baby, please remind me that. M is taking better interest in food, and the best part is that he goes straight to Figlia in case she is eating, and demands his share. Figlia shares easily with him,  so my referee role does not kick in at mealtimes. I do have to play referee when any one of them is sleepy. By some magical permutation, the other one also has an urgent, screaming request at the same time.  We co-sleep, but the arrangement has changed. It is me with Figlia, and hubby with M.  M had strange boils nea...

I wonder sometimes if my perceptions are more powerful than what the reality is, but I have been numb to lot of stuff recently because I know that over-reaction would be very harmful. In November, when I was at my in-laws, one morning, I was making breakfast, and everyone else was just doing something else. I was busy cooking but my mind was chewing gum of its own. I noticed that M sat on the floor and was holding my gown, just content to not be leaving my side. Thank God. It was needed. I was happy to know that I had company, even if of a baby with newly precipitated stranger anxiety. M has been cracking up his own forts. He latched shut me and Figlia in the bathroom once. Today he latched DH and Figlia. That boy just can't be trusted with latches. He pushed a frame full of washed clothes onto the floor today.  He is standing unsupported but not walking independently. Figlia walked at 13 months, so we are in a similar bracket possibly.  Also, the beginning of...

I was drying washed laundry on our frame, and M was in the same room. He started pulling off clothes from a basket and began heaping them on the frame, a perfect imitation of what he perceived I was doing. :-) - - -  M's interest in solids went up after his teeth emerged. He has four teeth, and drooling and biting, so likely to have more teeth any day now. - - - Figlia has a small table and chair of her own where she eats her meals, does colouring or other stuff. She was eating some snacks yesterday, and M went after her snacks. Eventually, Figlia was calling out for help because M pushed the table away, went up to her, and was holding her asking for the snack, and she stretched her hands high up to keep the tiffin away from his reach. It was so funny. Their interactions gladden my heart, even though I am likely to be wearing a referee suit soon. - - - Gracy met with an accident and was away from work for almost nine days. She has re-joined but is not a...

It's been eventful few weeks.  M has, by default turned a year old about nine days back. A low-key celebration was on the cards anyways, but him running a fever on the evening before the big day made me give up on the proposed noon zoo visit, and just the evening festivities ensued. M was cranky all day, and had a short nap around 1915 hrs, which allowed him the energy to stay fine during our dinner plans.  We also had a short trip to my in-laws, which was as-expected for me. Figlia came back with an allergic cough that was the genesis of M's malaise. I also got the pests from her, and my throat is still recovering. Figlia has been a charmer though. She is turning more mature, and very reasonable, and it is a relief. Does she get stuck? Yes. But now she listens to the adults, and that is crucial. Figlia's and M's chemistry is terrific. He relates to her well, though he is still not buying her stance of being the third adult of the house.  Almost a fortn...

I mean, I have met her. She is just one of the many who work in the office. I would even describe her as a nice girl. She is not the first nice girl that has ever worked there. She will not be the last. I am not their HR. I can't say anything anywhere.  Now there is this thin veil of suspicion through which I minutely look at every move. Is he being extra warm? Extra cosy? Extra attentive? Is he making a special effort? Technically, no bridges have been burned. But there are responses and then there are responses. When one says, it is not possible, it is more a confirmation of absence of conducive circumstances and opportunity than the lack of desire.  Technically, no big feathers were ruffled. But when the whole office calls each other with a formal suffix of one or the other kind, there is something wrong with a text referring to one's boss (at multiple occasions) in just the first name. That is a red flag.  Conversations where threads are deleted in be...

I am writing it now rather than last week, when it was a fresh shock and I would have opened up far more than what I would now, and hence regret posting stuff. I won't waste time though, and will still leave ample masala for a hot, angry curry.  I will just delve in and around and flit carelessly because that is what smart women like me do, when we can't deal with things and still have fog on the brain. Figlia and I are bound by the law of magnetism, I suppose. We are alike, and hence our clashes? She is 3 going on 16 some days. There is sharp logic, she questions stuff (cue: everything), and has choices. I will be unfair if I tell that she only acts in front of me, but I am still short on coping with the temper flares.  I lose control before she does. There is petty stuff, such as having a tantrum on the clothes she is wearing, and how she would rather be in the birthday girl's dress because her dress is not good enough.  She is amenable at points, and h...

Yesterday, I had a lunch date with a colleague/friend. I was gone for about four hours from the house, and came back to M napping and Figlia crying.  She said she was sleepy but was refusing to lie down. And Gracy told me that not only had Figlia hit M with a cardboard box, she was also scraping the lime/distemper off the wall and trying to feed the resisting M!  Figlia has never hurt or tried to hurt M before. So it was a new thing in the house.

I have experienced more headaches in last few months, than since whatever last it was that I remember.  The headaches are sometimes precipitated by a night of wakefulness, but mostly, as I have come to realize are stress related. Then, there is this low throbbing that starts at some grey gutter corner in my brain, somewhere between my ears, or sometimes the back of my head, or the middle of my eyes.  Since the headaches are psychology related, and psychology is the study of the mind and the mind has a brain connection, what was I saying? None of the times I had them, have I ever taken medication, because they often go away in their own time, but boy, do I love the rising frequency! In other excitement, M's cold has not gone away, and Figlia has been coughing since last night.

The title is a rendition of what Figlia tells me when she wants to say that she would like to shut up for a few long nanoseconds. Her chatter is non-stop and she follows me like a tail in the house. I cant even get up from the potty without her telling me to flush it (that sounds funny here). However, what really gets to me is the fact that Figlia is frequently in 'I am upset with you' mode, and sometimes, I have just entered into the house and that happens to be the first statement she makes to me.  Given that I do not expect a "How was your day?" from her, but I don't even want to hear that 'upset' line as often as it comes out from her. I know that she says that on a very superficial level, because it hardly turns out that there is some valid reason for it, but currently, she is still in the phase where I have to tell her repeatedly that she has no reason to be upset with me.  The second bite is food. My girl loves food. That makes my life ...

I tried new dresses for myself yesterday at a local store. *Groan* because I was not very happy seeing my selections on me.  Eventually, I ended up buying nothing, because I deserted my cart right at the cash counter as there was a neat time-sucking queue ahead of me. And I had a bad case of momma guilt because yesterday noon I decided to head out of the house and catch a movie in the theatre, so I did not have the time to kill more time.  When I was in the trial room, and faced my moment of truth with the very first dress, my initial thought ran to the gym membership my husband got for me, which I could not utilize. 2015 is a year of lot of things, but "personal fitness" feels like a priority much lower than full night's sleep.  M's birthday is 50 days away from today. Wow, right? Figlia has joined her Dad on a office trip/short vacation that I was invited to, but too many things were out of place for me to join in. And that left just M in Gracy'...

'Mummy, in case you are scared, I am standing right outside the toilet."

We had been meaning to try out a newly opened eating joint in the city, and last night DH decided to get dinner packed from there. He came home from the office, and took Figlia along for getting the food.  They were in the parking lot, and Figlia had opened the car door to let herself in. DH saw three boys on a motorcycle coming towards the car from the opposite direction. They themselves must have been trying to get out of the parking and onto the main road but had decided to weave a shortcut of some sort. They were speeding, and Figlia's door was wide open.  DH yelled to the boys and got to her side, in time to shut the door. The boys stopped their bike just as Figlia's door was slammed shut and she barely made it inside.  They thought it was some rush, because they just decided to go through the same trajectory.  DH stood right in front of them. The guy driving the bike, set one hand on acceleration while the brake was already pressed. If yo...

( Inspired from a blog with a different name, and in no particular order & full of TMI ) # She did not get to eat anymore the rice she already finished.  # She refused to pee because there is no pee in her after a full night of sleep, but she does not appreciate her mother's raised voice.  # I am not letting her play with the matchsticks. # I asked her to not wear the plastic bag over her head. # I did not intuit her desire to bring the diaper for M and made the mistake of bringing it myself. # I straightened her pajamas without her asking for it.  # She chomped my finger while I was feeding her food.  # I asked her to please stop talking to me while I was trying hard to relieve myself in the toilet.  For more stories, go to Mel's .

Last night, we went out for a party for the first time as a family of four. Our experience of taking Figlia out as an infant when it was her bedtime was such that we were not sure of how things would pan, but, maybe our beginners' luck worked, and no adults were harmed in the making of the evening.  Figlia slept in the car while we were on our way back from the party, and M was happy to stay awake and regale us with his babble on what the outing meant to him during the return trip. In fact, he was so trippy that it took us some efforts at home to finally get him to shut his eyes for the night. At 2 a.m., he roused us with twin distress: Gas Pain and Clogged Nose. The cold has landed back into our pad.  Figlia is amazing, and is completely my pal when we are not sparring with each other. I had a tight workday yesterday, and was tired before we left for the party. I barely changed my clothes.  'Mumma, I will bring something for you to wear' My daughter ...

Running But Not Running Away Can you suggest another caption?

I love my movies the way I love my books. I like to ruminate on messages in the books I like, the life of the characters, and the same behaviour transfers to movies. Savior is one of my favourite movies. My understanding of the world's dynamics is pretty dodgy, so I cannot say or vouch for the veracity for the way the conflict was presented in that movie.  And in the movie, there is a scene where in Quaid smothers* the infant because he is trying to not make a noise and get caught by terrorists who are slaughtering a group of civilians including the infant's mother.  I saw that flick before I had children. And my heart raced the first time I saw that scene, and it goes wonky every time I have seen it, even though I know the outcome, and it is just a movie. I can't get Aylan out of my mind. I have been reading and reading and reading about that boy. Right before the last time they got on the boat, he took a nap on the beach. I cannot get his face out of my m...

So I belong to this group of mums who are in the same birth club as I am. Since everyone gave birth at almost the same time, our struggles often match even when they vary. We talk vaccines, diets and milestones. And yet, almost every mom thinks that their babies are growing up far too fast. I happen to also be the tiny minority of repeat moms. Almost every other woman is a first timer. Me?  I could not wait for Figlia to grow up fast enough. I can't wait for M to get out of infancy.  And then these feelings get amplified after two consecutive nights of disrupted sleep. Last night he slept at routine 7:40 pm-ish, but woke up half an hour later and did not sleep till almost midnight. And then, the night before he woke up 2;30 a.m.-ish and began to play! He slept only around 4 a.m. Last night however, M's wakefulness made me spar with DH.  DH was irritated about this guy's lack to desire to close his eyes, and I was upset because on normal nights, DH...

I crave Mondays. So it's Monday, and I am back to work.  I think I would enjoy weekends/Sunday more if DH was home but since that is not changing, I can continue to crave Mondays. First of all, let me share that the trip has gone uneventfully, and that is good. But the house was full and bursting with activity, demands and requests, and so for a little peace and quiet, I may have escaped to the loo more than once without any actual need (in the last two days).  M has very strongly started differentiating between parents and 'other people', and this anxiety spilled over to him not being very happy with his grandparents, if I was not in the room.  He was on food strike on Saturday, but began eating again yesterday.  Figlia continues to be stubborn, but I also see the 'young woman' in her. I took a few pictures of her on Saturday, and she actually looked too grown up to me. However, she fought over going to the loo, and I knew that the grown up loo...

So, today we are on the last dose of the anti-malarial drug. That is correct, the fever that I originally ascribed to the measles vaccine was actually a fever from some other cause. I am also hoping that this detection and therapy will put an effective end to the recurrent fever episodes we have had with M. If I count this little one, M has had five bouts of fever in roughly the last two months. Figlia has expanded her scribbling horizon by using our non-carpeted floor and walls of the living room for scribbling and general depiction of life. I now totally dread the surprise I-was-just-passing-by visit by my landlady. She will surely be upset. And she never stops by purpose. She purposefully randomizes her visits. BTW, my landlord is far more palatable than my landlady. But the former hardly comes, and the latter is the one I deal with on a regular basis. She is irritating because she comes in any time she wants, and sits around dispensing free advice on several things includ...

There should be a better title, but I want to celebrate that I am 900 posts old. That's lot of posting, folks.  One of my first cousins was widowed in first week of August. My BIL died exactly one month after my aunt ( the deaths are mutually exclusive events).  It's like watching a train speed down the track, while you stand stuck in its path, knowing that there is no way to avoid the collision. His Cancer was not going to go away, so once the doctors announced the imminent, he spent the last six months working papers while his family worked towards miracles.  My cousin roped in every resource she knew to invoke the Gods to save his life. They went for second opinions, and even unconventional medicines. Miracles did not happen, but he got everything straightened up so that his family does not have to worry about atleast the financials.  Makes me think. It does.  (Off to Mel's, if you want to find more MicroBlogs !)

1 out of 6 infants are likely to run a fever after Measles Vaccination. Statistics bloomed in our house last night at 11 p.m.

There is stuff I am trying to teach her, such as, not making life-shattering demands of the following kind on her mum when the baby is crying top-pitch.  "Mummy, my pajama won't go up. Make it go up now. Maaaaake it go up now or I will never talk to you." Then there is stuff I did not have to teach, such as today morning.  Figlia wakes up and goes straight to M, kisses him incessantly, and asks if he slept like a good baby.  When Figlia grows up further, I will let her know that her brother has a pretty different personality, but sleep-wise both of them sail the same boat. All Microblogs find residence at Mel's Place . 

Between full day's work, and continued sleep deprivation at night, I am ready to break a bone. Yes, I am likely to become Bella Swan-ish and just stumble a bit here, and a little bit there coz some days the deprivation bites me harder. M is still waking up at night multiple times, and takes a feed every time he is up. Between the recent tour of the illnesses, and then nasal congestion and colic, something or the other just makes up to the itinerary every night.  In between, there were couple of nights of great sleep where he skipped one feed in-between leading to very long phases of deep sleep. I did not wake up then because he woke me up. I woke up because my body was wired to wake up and expect him to rouse me.  I am just tired. 

We took M to the pediatrician last Tuesday. He changed the anti-biotic and added some more medicines. Thankfully, M is better now. And yesterday was his last day on antibiotic.  M slept much better in the latter half of last week, and that was a sanity saver. His fever and mouth ulcers are gone. And only the cough remains. - - - - Looks like M has completely skipped the sitting on his own part in the milestones business. Yesterday I noticed that he was trying to raise his knees off the ground and balancing his body weight on the toes. He was not able to sustain, and he quickly settled back in his horizontal position. He is fast, and now going through the length of our house on his volition. He is fascinated with footwear, and everything that is in Figlia's hands.  I have no memory of every finding Figlia 'stuck' under some furniture after having managed to crawl into it. But M has left a mark in that log. It is scary and very funny at the same insta...

Yesterday was a new chapter. M refused to eat. And he mostly declares his dislike by first tasting the food and then declaring Yay or Nay by the pursing of his lips.  But yesterday was different because he just would not open his mouth, and was fussy and cranky. In fact, he was not even happy with milk.  " You must be hungry. This is food. You can eat it. I eat it. It is not that bad. Open up your mouth. Darn it! ", was the mental chatter in my brain.  Then we discovered something called mouth ulcers . One bugger was right on the inside edge of the left side of the lips. I could not see anymore.  My mind perceives two possible causes. One is that he was put on antibiotic on Saturday, and it was his first time on that medicine. Also, M does have a white coating on his tongue, which is white because of his milk residue, and on the last visit the pediatrician had mentioned about cleaning his tongue regularly. Maybe that is the cause? Or it could be a co...

Viral to Viral to Viral! M has viral. Again. Doctor finally added antibiotic.  - - - Work has been skate speed. The way things are currently, I can raise my head from the desk only in the third week of August. *cue: Milton Waddams look* I miss my office downtime. - - - After my aunt died, my reaction was far less profound than my brother's. He made a collage and wrote a letter about what he learnt from my aunt. That collage and letter were so phenomenal that they were 'widely' used during the ceremonies and elsewhere. The letter is now enlarged, and placed in my deceased aunt's house. Nothing so creative struck me. I could not channelize my angst the way he did.  My mum left for another country today (she has gone to stay with my bro for a couple of months). And I am not feeling very nice about her absence. - - - Figlia shows signs of "growing up" and maturing more and more these days. Because she has to wake up early t...

Little man is down!  He is dealing with a second bout of viral fever in as many months. He is cranky, and clingy. He went to sleep on time last night, but woke up at 11 pm, and believed it was morning.  He repeated the same at 2:30 a.m.-ish. Then he finally woke up at 5:45 a.m. All the night wake-ups had got more to do with rising temperature than hunger.  His temp fell every time I gave him paracetamol but it never went to normal. He remained a little warm throughout the night.  Saving grace was that Figlia was pretty good today morning, and not only brushed her teeth and peed without fuss, she even got ready to take her bath. I was there with her when the bus showed up at the pick-up point, and she went in happily.  Figlia has made friends with a much older girl who boards the same bus, and the girl gave her space to sit next to her in the bus.  Did I tell that DH is out of town? And won't be back till tomorrow late morning? ...

Figlia is exactly 3 1/2 years old today. Wow. I remember recording the date every month in her first year, a sort of crossing the calendar that we were finally getting to the 12th month. And this loosened up after she hit 18 months. And now, it is more an acknowledgement of year(s), than months. M is a 'latent variable', a sly mister who looks calmer than his sister but is upto one thing or the other. He is a week short of turning 8 months old. Mister is caterpillar crawling! It's cute, really. He uses his belly, elbows and knees the most to push himself ahead.  He sits well if one makes him sit, but is not sitting himself up right now. Figlia has started choosing clothes for M (especially the clothes he wears in the evening)! M in turn, has special interest in anything and everything his older sister is holding. He tore a page off an activity book that was in Figlia's hand, before she or I could do anything significant about it.  Figlia receives M ...

My aunt died today. She was my mum's oldest sister. She was not well for a long time - a rainbow collection of severe diabetes and other ailments that get magnified by advanced age. And yet her zest for life and sheer will power kept her afloat.  There is a difference between the dying and the dead. The dead are dead and the dying are dying, and hence still alive. The life story comes to a pit stop at death, but the dying are still writing pages of their own, albeit slower than the active ones.  While one expects the dying to die eventually, and obviously are more mentally prepared to see the event happen, the magnitude of the hole that gets left behind can be felt only when it has been created - when suddenly, the last breath drawn becomes the last breath.  You know they are dying but you dont know that today would be the last day. I did not cry.  I am far away and won't be present for the last rites. My mum is currently on her way to be there f...

I am tied up at work. And yet, I tend to take out minutes for myself while at workplace, because it is easier to do it here than at home. Last week, I applied for a higher position at my workplace. Overall, the resume looks good, but the last few years, some categories have suffered because I have been away for extended periods from my workplace.  Between 2011 and 2014, I have claimed maternity leave thrice! I need to later also submit a crisper resume that is quantitative, and will focus on only the last three years, and boy, does it suck! In it,  I am meeting the criteria, but by the edge of my teeth. If only both - the whole resume and the partial one are taken together, does it look any good. And then, I am not the only one vying the raise, so I have to make it work. Since the resume will be just one part of the evaluation that goes with the consideration to promote, I am hoping the other dimensions will help me. The very same week was M's brush with viral ...

I alternate between feelings of leaving L behind, and then re-live flashes of moments from "her time". I wonder about how things would be if she was here.  And how things would be if only she and Figlia were my children? What would she grow to be like? Would she be as feisty as her sister? And would Figlia's fire be more muted if she was the younger child? Or would Figlia have happened at all, if L had lived?  Somehow, holding M makes me closer to L. He is my last baby. Every day,  he grows up a bit more and the farther I go away from the stage of infancy. The relish I experience with M is different, and much calmer.   In his face, there is L's face.  ( There, I said it. I never said it before. I never say this to anyone .) His face is closer in its features to L than Figlia's.  If I made them stand together you would recognize them as siblings,  but there is a secret to his face that makes my heart weep with sadness and jo...

Remember I told you our sleeping arrangement was such that Figlia was with DH and M slept with me? Now it seems, Figlia is more and more comfortable in bed of her own, and so DH does stay with her to make her sleep, but he is able to sleep on our double bed. Figlia gets to be in the same room as us, but on separate accommodation, and things are better.  I have been looking at things that can possibly ease the night terrors. I know she is imaginative, and she often carries stresses of her waking life to bed. I have not found a foolproof solution (or I would not have been mentioning the struggle), but lately indulge in "empowering suggestions". I also believe in prayer, and tell her to invoke her favourite, because no matter what, she can fight anything (including villains of the animal world - imaginary cockroaches and cats). That said, we have had a good stretch recently with very few sleep interruptions from her lately because of lesser night terrors, but she still ...

If I posted on Saturday, I would have posted about useless office drama.  If I posted on Sunday, I would have told you that I got my periods. If I posted on Monday, I would have told you about Figlia's tantrum. If I post today, it could be about an oral note of gratitude I received from a colleague. 

M rolled off our bed today morning. I was in the kitchen. His Dad was standing right next to the bed, reading the newspaper. Figlia was playing with him. He just rolled and rolled, and landed on his back. I heard him shriek and cry.  This event happened twenty minutes after I had put M on the bed we have set up on the floor, and DH said that it was alright to keep him on our bed.  I was angry, and Hubby did not pretend like nothing happened. He was profusely apologetic, and that saved him.  M was fine. Just shocked, but fine. Figlia cried because she perceived the heat on my face, and then I told her that it was not directed at her, so she calmed down.  Last night he woke up at midnight, and was awake for a while, playing by himself. He is on Entero.germina for his poop troubles.  He is mobile, even though he does not look like it. Somehow, he will twist and writhe and get to whatever object is catching his fancy, and that is something I had...

Today morning, the TV was on and Figlia was dancing to some video, and M was chuckling loudly watching his sister. His chuckling made Figlia get even more excited, and we all stood spectators to this happening. M is trying to sit. He has already been raising his upper body, and supports it well on his hands, but today I saw him raise his bums too. He flopped, but it appears that he will begin to do it soon! Still no tooth in sight for M. I had to give Enterog.ermina to M because of anomalous po.oping. And I am hoping to rein that in.  My house-guests will go away tonight, and it will be a chore to handle Figlia because she wants to go on the train. She wants to go with whoever is going on  that locomotive, and our house-guests will be taking the train. Also, she is very attached to her grandparents.  I am still sleep deprived. Even though M is on solids now, he does wake up 3-4 times for milk during the night, and Figlia has night terrors. It's not aw...

Today morning, M was lodged in my arms while I tried to soothe his crankiness. I was carrying him from one room to the other, and then I asked DH to take him.  When hubby extended his arms, M immediately turned and pulled himself closer to me!  Whoa!  DH tried again, and M repeated this behaviour.  However, M did not oppose when DH finally took him from my arms into his. 

Have I told you how Figlia is with M? M has three adults looking after him - two of them who are, and one who believes she is. It's cool watching Figlia and M interact. M has a tuned in ear for his sister, mostly because he has no option. And Figlia is like "My little baby"/ "My baby"/ "My love", and a couple of other variants. Figlia did not watch TV till she was 2 years old. M is not so resisting of that idea. Now if we could only let those naps happen painlessly for everyone! Last evening was eventless as far as M's pickup from daycare was concerned. He sneezed once at daycare, and I think at home too. I hardly thought much of it. And M slept in the night the way he does. When I reached by his side to settle down, even then I never felt anything amiss. (I love watching his face when he sleeps. There is so much serenity on his face.) Sometime around 11 p.m. I  'heard' his nose. By midnight, he was positive...

Since we are already a week past this, let me reveal now that I now have only one child in diapers. We went cold turkey on diapers just the way we went cold turkey on Figlia's bottles.  And it has been hard. Figlia now regularly skips a day between her pooping. And on the day that it becomes unavoidable, we make almost 30 rounds to the loo. She will sit, and get up and say that she is done.  "Oh come on, atleast try!", is a useless statement. She will go when she can't hold it anymore, and seriously, it is hilarious to watch her expression then. But it is maddening to accompany her the remaining 29 free trips to the throne.  Her comfort with diapers was that she continued to do what she wanted to do without being bound to a location. To go to the loo kills her other activities, and she resists it. Plus, she is almost apologetic about having to poop.  We will get better at this. Mostly because, there is nothing else except the getting better part, rig...

I have been here a while. My IF blog was formed a year after I forayed into blogging, but 2008 does earn me "here for a while" status.  I was new, looking for support, and unsure about networking. I chanced upon blogs, sometimes through snowballing, but mostly through Stirrup Queens.  Today, I get as many comments as I used to get when I just began blogging. It is some blog midlife crisis, perhaps?  No, I am not ruing over the lack of comments here . It just seems to me that the group that used to fill my corner of the world has imperceptibly dispersed. It's like people picked up their bags and left. Some said their Goodbyes, and others did not. And gradually, the room has just emptied itself.  On a good Monday, I have about 6-7 unread posts on my reader from the weekend. On normal days, it is measly 2-3. If one sees my blogroll (HauntHop), much of the lower 80 percent is static in terms of its rung. That is because only 5-6 of my 50 regular reads ar...

I was in primary section, when one day our class was informed about this book fair that would be held in the school next day. A brochure was also circulated with the information, and we were required to go through and bring exact change to buy any book we wanted. The books were divided into age-apt categories, and I eventually purchased a book that had the same title as this post.  And No, is what appears to be a generic response these days.  Yesterday, DH took me and Figlia for a movie show in the afternoon. He discussed his intention on Saturday, and I had to actively stop myself from saying No for the same.  I am scared that if I do something to indulge myself, or something that is enjoyable, it will jinx my happiness for good. That something will happen to make me lament why I anyways decided to have any fun at all.  I have precedents in Figlia's first year for that fear, and I had a prayer on my lips to let the day pass event-less.  Fig...