My Lady of the Lantern

Went to V for buying totally non-sexy nightgowns today. (What's so noteworthy about that?) The last time I had gone there was in 2008, at the end of my fourth and final IUI cycle. Bags in hand, I was making my way to the parking lot, when I thought that I felt some moistness down under. (Huh, it must all be that standing for long.) My periods had arrived. Today, I was there, and constantly thinking of that one moment when I realized that my periods had arrived and how deeply frustrated I was. But now, I am prepared. AF is expected in a couple of days. And I am mentally ready to welcome her. In fact, an alternate scenario will actually catch me by surprise. ^WiseGuy^

Was browsing through the newspaper today morning and they had an article on the babies born after 12 o'clock on New Year's eve. Wow! I can't really describe to you how there was photo after photo of chuggly-wuggly pink cheeked cuties! (Nine in all) The newspaper reported that the city had registered 205 births on the first two days of 2009! Some statistics that is not anything to me at all. Anyways...I was only observing the faces and what has registered to me now, is that I did not feel upset or angry or lacking. I only saw the pics, relished the radiance flowing from them and that is all. Buddhaesque? I think I must become more disciplined with my Vipassana sittings, which I have lost the inner urge for. My past experiences have taught me to expect breakthroughs only after reaching the ultimate limits of frustration. When I went for IVF last year, I believed that I had reached that limit and so, some positive outcomes would come my way as had happened in the past. But now...