My Lady of the Lantern

My next appointment is at 9 weeks....sometime around July 12th. I would like to really see Baby Kaiser, but more importantly again review how much I despise Dr. M. If she is still on her cynic track, I will have to look for alternatives. I like Dr. BS, and I appreciated that she saw no traces of my skirmish with Dr. M when she was communicating with me, and during the ultrasound. That is very professional, I think. TMI Alert: One thing I don't want Kaiser to inherit from me is my intestines....I am constipated. And I can't do one thing about it...I am trying to keep up my water intake and all, but still. I tend to be very sleepy in the mornings...I finish my milk and go back to bed (Yes, I do), and if I am not able to catch those 180 winks, I walk around with a massive hangover, and sleep on my way to work, at work and whatnot. It is okay for now...I can cope because I do not have any early-morning classes yet...they will come up in July...will have to watch out for that. But I...

Kaiser! Yeps, finally did get to see my doc last night. Baby was measuring 6 weeks,1 day...and I am just too glad about it. So here's the rehashing...my life would change every Tuesday Sunday, as I make it from week to week into this pregnancy. Birdman was there. We got a pic of the ultrasound and he asked me about the contents of the picture....he was walked through the uterus, the sac and precious being developing inside. So we have this one perfect baby going super strong...and I pray to meet the little one in February 2011, safe and healthy in my arms. That would be so good really. ---- Rant ahead... Yeah, I told you about Dr. M right? The assistant to Dr. BS? Well everybody has to go through Dr. M, and then only Dr. BS would see the patient. Last night I was very hopeful of getting that ultrasound from Dr. BS, and was not very happy when I was made to sit in front of Dr. M. Two things really snap-cracked me : a) She told me, 'Let's see you .' I froze, because if I...

I would like to really really really thank everyone who has commented on the past few posts of mine...especially beginning from the June 8th post. For those of you whose e-mail address comes associated with the comment to me, I did hit 'Reply'. However, there are quite a few of you (and several new bloggers for me), who don't have an associated mail id, and so I could not get back to you. But I hugely appreciate your cheering for me. I would also like to acknowledge that some of you who commented have had it very very rough yourself very recently, and yet you came out to chirp with me. I am humbled by that. -- Dr. BS has an assistant called Dr. M. This past week, every time I phoned up to possibly be able to meet Dr. BS, the receptionist would told me that I could just as well book myself for an appointment with Dr. M. The thing is I did not particularly like Dr. M. Anyways, after I was ladled with another 'She won't be available today' , I decided to call Dr. B...

...to tell you that I could not get the ultrasound yesterday. And I won't be getting it today either. Dr. BS is not well, and she won't come in... The receptionist at the hospital told me to call up tomorrow and enquire again. I don't want to go to the other doctor available. Waiting is one tough business. ^WiseGuy^

Today I am on the threshold of a new week....and I just look at how close I am getting to those highlighted milestones ( have marked dates on a calendar )...12 weeks is far off, 28 weeks is even more away...and yet every passing date is such a blessing. My symptoms are fluid. My nausea has ceased. Thankfully my boobs and pee-circus still remind me hugely about my present condition.... I also tend to have this dull bitter taste in my mouth, and I appreciate it whole-heartedly. I have my appointment scheduled tonight...and I am pretty excited about the prospect of seeing the gestational sac....I hope and pray that I do see it... I am taking every step with a lot of caution, and I have still not allowed myself unbridled joy over this. I want to be reassured. To this and beyond!! ^WiseGuy^

CONFIRMED!!! 1306 at 17dpo!!!! Woot Woot! Will go with a more composed heart for Tuesday's appointment.... Please keep praying for me/ keeping me in your thoughts. I can't quite believe it... ^WiseGuy^

I was stretched on the bed, and Birdman was moving around the house, doing his usual morning stuff. He came back to ask me: "Hmmm...would the baby be like you or like me?" I did not need to really respond coz he answered himself - 'Surely like me!!! '. Please remember that I am not even 5 weeks yet... ^WiseGuy^

...So now that the shock is finally wearing off, I am on a pendulum of hope and disbelief. The first time I hit the latter was today afternoon. I have not been sleeping well. I woke up at 4 o' clock in the morning today, and could not go back to sleep. I finally did a lean sleep stretch at 5:30 in the morning. It was similar y'day, but I had woken up a little after 5 o'clock. I had early-wake episodes previously too, but that time, I did not know! I ascribe it partially to worry, and partially to the raging hormones ( please rage on, will you? ). I need to pee a lot...in office, at home, and my sleep gets broken by my desire to empty my bladder. I have thus, decided to intentionally make sure to sip/drink as much water as I can...so that I am all good. My nipples are sore (and I am glad). I have morning night sickness! I thought nausea was supposed to strike in the morning. I had a tiny graze of it on Tuesday night itself, but last night nausea was stronger immediately ...

A tingling sensation coursed my veins when I typed the title of the post...how does it feel to actually say it, to type it, to think it, to be it? Anyways, I have my list of good blood tests coming up. I have taken half day leave for Friday, and a full day off for Saturday, and I will do the needful then. I would be ready with the reports when I get to my next appointment with Dr. BS. I had some heavy invigilation duty imminent on Sunday, and the only way I could duck it would be the Saturday off. I want to duck it. I have done my share of those in the past, and would not want to indulge in it right now. I can probably get excused by revealing, but I don't want to reveal yet. And oh, a colleagueriend(colleague+friend) knows. I told her. I would not feel very bottled up now, and she is 'leak-safe'. My life would turn a page every Tuesday, and I hope hope hope to be all good to read through each of it. -- Birdman came home today morning. I had put in two paper slips, one over...

Having read non-gravid enough on my file, this is huge for me!!! --- I planned to test y'day...but I woke up an hour before I was bound to get up, relieved myself and went back to sleep. When I woke up, I was not wanting to bet my luck on non-optimal contents. So, the testing fell on today...I woke up earlier than usual. I walked over to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator door and took out the lone HPT that now remained there. I went to the bathroom. Let me tell you, when you want to pee, and you have to pee and you have to save up for testing too, it is tough. I managed to do that and stared with neutral emotions on the HPT window. The line started to emerge...it was the line that is doused with whatever, so I have seen it red anyways. I decided to go back to sleep. But wait, the other line was definitely colouring up! Are you nuts, you never colour...you remain virgin white...whoa, there is colour... I was stupid enough to look at the results detail printed on the HPT packet......

I am chortling like a maniac here... ^WiseGuy^

I kept on wondering if I should post it or not...but then I decided that since this space is meant to document , well, I should write it down and all. I am pretty close to ending this cycle. I am normally a 33-day cycle girl, and for the past few cycles, my AF has arrived around CD31. I still don't feel like it is on its way. So this one cycle could be correcting back the pre-pone gene in all the three cycles that have whizzed past. On the other hand, my nipples are sensitive to touch and I had mild cramping a few days back. Atleast one part of this cycle is like the January one....but the difference is that I had taken Clomid then and was on progesterone in the latter half of the cycle. This cycle, I have neither been on Clomid nor have I taken any progesterone pills. Please hope for me, but don't leave me words that you believe I am pregnant or so. I can have all the symptoms and not one thing that comes out of it. There is now just one unopened strip of HPT remaining in my r...

Dear Random Chinese Guy, I love you. I seriously do. You are my best commenter...and I often am mesmerized by the beautiful alphabets you leave as comments. I have one problem though. I have no idea what they mean. I have never placed comment moderation or captcha for posting comments, because of the ease that it affords. You are making me think about my options now that you are a regular, you know...and that's a swell thing. Yours admiringly, ^WiseGuy^

Before anything else, go sing a happy song for Barbara ...she just found out that she is expecting!!! Completely Awesome! And a pure ray of hope! I know that with the previous post, it appeared to some of you that I was all set to get that IUI. No, I won't . I have put on hold a number of things to be pregnant, or to the imaginary prospect of having conceived. I will not compromise a predictable outcome for the sake of something that remains as much a shot in the dark as ever. I have something lined up really...thesis, weight loss, good shot at pregnancy ( and the last two can run concurrent ). But I cannot keep up with the rush of u/s appointments and my guide's expectations. Plus, I am not a good multi-tasker ( ambiguous about it totally ), and I manage superbly only when I am playing Farmville, and tweeting and writing a mail around the same moment of time * ...I am just not upto doing it. I can get the IUI done in this very city, and that is the sweetest thing, you know. An...