My Lady of the Lantern

For one, CPT is not hearing from me ....thanks for all the helpful comments. I have had mails to increase my manhood, buy Rolex replicas and purchase Viagra online minus any prescriptions. But I was not spam-prepared for a mail that invited me to write. Second, I am going to travel in May. In another of my previous posts , I had spoken of my travel what-if. I have decided that I am making the travel plans full-steam. If the trip gets scuttled, the reason will not be my what-if. Third, my doctor had asked me to not go for another round of IVFw/ICSI till March 2009. And that is what I had really planned then. But right now, I do not feel mentally up for such a cycle. I am thinking of not using any medical intervention till August 2009. That's all, folks! ^WiseGuy^

As I end this year and stand at the entry of a brand new milestone in TTC battle, I think it is necessary to recap what this year brought for me. I began this year with cipher. And though there is no baby in my arms, I am not ending this year with a cipher . This year has been eventful. My lap and D&C happened this year. For a long time, I had a hard time convincing my own mother (also a doc) that ‘we’ may have a fertility problem. She was one of the last persons to realize this. I used to have super periods. I was lucky to be having them regularly and predictably. This year, my periods were regular but unpredictable in terms of actual dates. Most of them had me in pain . There was heavy bleeding and in some cycles, prolonged bleeding. I had just come out of Anti-Koch’s this year (six-month medicine course ending in Jan 2008). Overall, I will say that my general sense of well-being has been shaky for the past 18 months. When I started anti-Koch’s, I had an almost arthritic pain i...

That sounds like a good question, doesn’t it? Several things – One , I am not going for any ultrasounds till March 2009. Two , No pill-popping whatsoever (discounting the tapering in Wysolone dosage). Three , No needles, no syringes and no Lupride! Four , No counting cycle days, no worrying about ovulation. Just keep a tab of when AF is expected. Five , Read books and unwind by stressing over Phd synopsis. Six , Introspection. Seven , Connect better – with everybody including the guy in the deep skies or the seas or wherever the humans claim him to be! Eight . Keep a low profile in office! Nine , what do you think should be the ninth item in my list? ^WiseGuy^

Let's get to the technical aspect of this failure. I had apparently good eggs and good sperms. Apparently, my fertilization potential is also superb. Apparently, I am too good to be true. :( It is obvious that there was implantation failure. For what reason? There are no clear reasons for the same. My doc told me that some 'fragmentation' was visible in the embryos that were created. Fragmentation is not a sign that pregnancy will not occur. But, it is certainly a demoting factor in embryo grading. But lower quality embryo does not mean that embryo is not viable. My doc recently had a successful conception with severely fragmented embryos. But I have always been on the wrong side of statistics. That, apparently, is my problem. My embryos, did not go beyond the four-cell stage. None of them did. If you remember from my previous posts, 9 embryos had been created, out of which three were transferred. Well, my doc did not freeze any of them. None of the left-over grew! The next...