My Lady of the Lantern

So, I went to the doc yesterday (CD6) and had a Sonography. My uterus was ‘out of phase’, POD was clear and the right ovary was behaving like an over-excited school kid. As for the left ovary, it is not responding at all to the induction. Isn’t it ironic that the normal ovary refuses to budge? It is now that we realized (doc and me), that we were so obsessed with the right ovary and its chocolate cyst that we totally forgot its twin! The left ovary had appeared normal during the laparoscopy in January, but now it is clear that it is *just* a meatball. I have stopped the inductive drug and am continuing with just Lycostar and Duphaston (a 10 mg daily course for 10 days). This cycle is a complete spoil. Once I have my periods again, the doctor would like to check how many follicles are formed minus the induction. I am losing my faith. My hormonal levels are fine, and all other factors are okay, yet, I am on the path of desperation. I guess, for the sake of some utility, I must take m...

I embarrassed myself yesterday at my workplace. The behaviour I put up was exactly like some newly menstruating school babe, who could not handle the flow. I darned destroyed my undies, part of my clothes and the most exasperating of all, my office chair. I just did not realize how heavily down I was! Anyways, I cancelled a class and rushed back home. Saw my doc in the evening and she has given me Tranostat- MF. This cycle, I will be starting Lycostar and Letromet from day 3(which is today). Sixth day I will be visiting my doc for a sonography.

I peed on my ray of sunshine....literally! I am bleeding heavily. The sole relief is that at least, I am out of my WaitLand ! Will be visiting my doc today. This cycle, I will be on a new pill regimen. Watch and Watch and Watch!

Had a thick brown discharge in the early half of the evening. I quickly took precautions and am pleased to announced that I did not bleed after that. I am still sitting a bit uptight. I am trying to not think about the whole thing and am drowning my frowns in Stephen Robbins's Organizational Behaviour and 'Father of the Bride' on Star Movies..... I am not sure what to expect, but the fact that there is no active bleeding can be a ray of hope for me. Have to wait for tomorrow morning to come!

You know, that’s the thing with infertility….it is always on your mind! Was making soup for myself in the afternoon and voluntarily started chanting ‘Ram Ram Ram….’ mentally. That’s when it struck me that it was just a sign of my nervousness. When I was a child, my mother had asked me to repeat the words whenever I was afraid (and it did happen coz I couldn’t stop myself from consuming horror shows and then every dark nook of my house would start looking creepy). I have been on Eudrin this cycle. I always found that in ovulation induced cycles, my periods tend to come earlier than the normal dates and usually within a couple of days of withdrawal of progesterone support. Now, five days are already up and I am not bleeding yet. This is fraying my nerves. I don’t want my periods to come and I don’t know whether they would come or if there is any iota of hope I could stick to. I have been harassing myself all afternoon - imagining a work afternoon informing my colleague that I needed t...

Case I: W got married and within three months she came to know that she had conceived. Why have a kid so early in marriage and for this simple reason she had the baby aborted. Later she conceived again and lost the baby in the fifth month. She conceived again and had a normal delivery. As of today, she is the proud mother of two daughters.[It is also rumored that she had found out that she was pregnant four months prior to her wedding and she and her fiance had disposed off the baby for the fear of bringing shame to their respective families.] Case II: W got married and was detected with a fibroid. Around the same time, she conceived and on some adverse opinion from her doctor had an MTP. A second opinion post-MTP concluded that she actually did not need the MTP(!). Second time she became pregnant, she delivered a healthy baby boy. Power of Contraception be damned, she conceived again within two years, which she promptly got terminated. Case III: W got married and because of lack...

I had a D and C on July 27th and God help me, coz I can’t forget how icky I felt. My hatred for that hospital loo, the smell of the consultation room, the needle-prick and drop-your-clothes-here just intensified that day. I was absolutely broken when I was out of the Anaesthesia. I can never describe how much I despised being poked, scraped and pricked. My doctor had planned an IUI for me this cycle. And had the plan panned on Tuesday (CD14, Aug 5). The follicle in my right ovary refused to rupture. My Serum Prolactin levels show that even though it fell in the normal range, the Prolactin level is on a higher side. Anyways, I was on a cocktail of Ubiphene, Nacfil, Fertibex, Cabgolin and Eudrin for this cycle. I was given an HCG injection on 3rd August. Even with the induction, no follicles were formed in the left ovary, which is perfectly free of any cysts. The fruit was borne in the right ovary (how ironic) which has a chocolate cyst and in spite of the HCG, the follicles in th...