My Lady of the Lantern

My cruddy self is out, so bear with me. I was feeling very licked after this last BFN. It should not be any different. After all, I have made it a habit to belt out BFN after BFN after BFN like clockwork. But then something happened. It is all in the mind, you see. I have been frolicking in a dark blue and green sea. It is shaded with lime and violet and red. It is pink and orange. It rises and heaves and grasps at everything. I am floating effortlessly. Wednesday night, I spoke to my mother....after a four day break (the break was not deliberate). I asked her to sing out the whole conversation she had with Dr. Bigshot. It is since that call that I am floating in the sea. I am not swimming, and I am not drowning. You see, the doctor wants to meet once before he can chart out some course of action. Any such hint would have me irate, but I don't know what broke in me, and I just was tempted to try it out. My stuckheadedness did not knuckle in at all. BabySmiling had asked how far wo...

Yeps, for something swimming in me for like three days now, this is too long to be able to find the time to actually type it down. First of all, I missed you bloggy-people. I was around, but not on the blogosphere. ******************************************* I have guests at home, and/but my cycle is still very much on track. Me and DH have been keeping our 'playdates', and I started my Duphaston (Progesterone) on Friday night (CD14). CM-Watch is still on, but not much hoopla is happening, and that could be because Clomid is supposed to reduce the CM, or that I may ovulate later than the usual this cycle. ******************************************* Remember, I told you about Xo ? I just came to know that her ICSI is in Feb 2010. I am mentally sending her tons of positive vibes (she does not know that I know her problem). ******************************************* Please God, An October Baby would be fantastic! ^WiseGuy^

Just a quick listing of everything I am swallowing this cycle and beyond. a. Syrup Gynova (and Tab Spermon for DH) b. Siphene 100 mg c. Folic Acid 5 mg (currently taking Folsafe) d. Zocon- AS KIT (Fluconazole, Azithromycin and Secnidazole Tablets) e. Diamet SR-500 (Metformin Hydrochloride 500 mg) f. Ecosprin 75 mg (divided into half…taken everyday, Acetylsalicyclic Acid) g. Duphaston (Dydrogesterone 10 mg) I have to continue Gynova, Diamet and ASA for three months. There are two combikits of Zocon, and me and hubby are expected to synchronize the once a day, three-doses medicine such that both me and him have the same M&Ms on the same day. I have a major problem with Ecosprin, especially about taking just half everyday, and so I am replacing it with some ASA (left over from my IVF days), and I have asked for even more ASA (which has to be swallowed whole and not in parts). Saves me the guaranteed bitterness. Also, even though my periods were expected to end on Thursday, they persis...

I recently read this at a blogger’s vent: X days away from the negative beta. I was quite struck with the expression, and it did make me grin. How sure are we? Anyhoo, today is CD5. Yesterday was my first day of Siphene 100 mg. [ Siphene is what is known to you as Clomid .] Good Girls start that on CD2 right? I got told on CD3, and I got the medicine on CD4, which explains why I was off at such a snail-rocket start. I have also had a medicine flush…and I am going to list out everything I get to savour, once I really am able to get the entire prescription filled. One thing that I have started since Tuesday is Syrup Gynova , which is a herbal formulation that improves among other things, the oocyte quality. And DH is getting a lot of love from Tab Spermon (The outer flap reads: The Spermatogenetic and Natural Anti-oxidant for Male Functional Infertility.) I am not sure if Spermon and Gynova are going to be of any help, but because they are purely herbal, there won’t be any unwanted s...

Stumped? Almost as much as I am...why else would three posts land on my blog the same day??!! After I posted the last entry, I went straight to a meeting. I had my sanitary protection on, and did not check up till I reached home...about one and a half hour back...Guess what, there is nothin' on the pad beyond what must have passed then immediately. Fuck. I thought Ms AF was there. Now I have spotting, but I can't call it AF. There are two theories: 1. Ovulation spotting. If yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the first time that Ms O has informed me of her appearance. I have no way to verify this though. 2. Crappy Last Period. For those of you who read through my previous entries, I had an abnormal menstrual episode this last time. I bled late, and I bled little. Maybe there is some residue uterine lining that is still falling off. I have no way of verifying this either. Anyways, I am home and now in the confines of my four walls and tomorrow being a Sunday, I have some freedom...

That sounds like a good question, doesn’t it? Several things – One , I am not going for any ultrasounds till March 2009. Two , No pill-popping whatsoever (discounting the tapering in Wysolone dosage). Three , No needles, no syringes and no Lupride! Four , No counting cycle days, no worrying about ovulation. Just keep a tab of when AF is expected. Five , Read books and unwind by stressing over Phd synopsis. Six , Introspection. Seven , Connect better – with everybody including the guy in the deep skies or the seas or wherever the humans claim him to be! Eight . Keep a low profile in office! Nine , what do you think should be the ninth item in my list? ^WiseGuy^

Yeah Yeah.... I have been undergoing the ovulation study for this cycle and will be travelling to City I to see if this one gets fructified. My sonologist is not available tomorrow, so I can't take any chances. The left ovary has one follicle that is at 17...it would supposedly erupt anytime.... I hate this thing. This cycle, an IUI is being planned. So, first the artifical means of getting pregnant and then waiting for the periods and the depression of bleeding through. For me, it is not the possibility of not having children that is scary, but the thought of being incapable of it that is scarier. Will see what comes through....