My Lady of the Lantern

I have mentioned before that I requested the dreaming to go away . Seems like the vivid meaningful dreams are back in full force. The signs lie in the following two: Dream I - Early morning hours of 7th December I was sitting cross-legged on one of the beds in our apartment at UsualCity. We tend to use that bedroom during summers. It was around 10-11 in the morning. Season was there as an infant. (And from the dream it appears Season is a boy). Anyways, I was crying because in my hands was a HPT and it had two lines. The tears were not of pure joy. Dream II - Morning of 8th December; just before I work up (sometime between 6 - 7: 30 a.m.) I was sitting on the PC. It was almost midnight and on some whim managed to dial the number of someone to wish happy birthday. When I realized I woke up the other person, I apologized and kept the phone. The birthday person immediately phoned up on our landline, and I requested him/her to call back on my cell phone so that I can receive it in my...

And that dream came today morning. It was definitely post-afternoon. I was in an Operation Theatre, and two people - my mum and SuperGyn delivered Season. There were no nurses or any other staff around. I seemed to awaken from the delivery as soon as it was over and the baby was handed to me wrapped in a blanket. It was a boy. I was happy that the baby was alive. When I looked at the baby's face, I was a little taken over by how this baby did not look as beautiful as CheekyBub. On the baby's right cheek was a small scar, shaped like an arc and another mark on the same cheek. I immediately recoiled at how I was assessing my own baby and just hugged the little boy thankful that it was alive. When I woke up, I couldn't help but be reminded of the first time I had a labour dream during my last pregnancy . At that time, I visualized Kaiser being born in my office, and with the size and build of a five month old, and yup, the baby had a moustache.

I birthed Kaiser ( in a dream, thankfully ) on the night of 14th November. Of course, in my dream, the date and situation were very different. I was in office and felt the baby coming. Next thing I know the baby was born...I remember it was in the rear end of an empty classroom on the ground floor (of the institute's building). I do not remember any pain...Also, I was smashing conscious enough to record the date of birth and time as November 28 and 0820 Hrs. Kaiser was very healthy. In fact, by the afternoon, I had him sitting in my arms and I was moving around. The peculiarities do not end there. Kaiser had a thin moustache line. He looked a bit like my father. I was telling everybody that Kaiser was due in February but he had been born early and look how healthy he was. Kaiser had the weight and strength of a 5 month old. He was supporting his neck and sat well on my arm. And where did his clothes come from? I don't know. The dream ended there. Next day, I phoned up my mother...

# My latest craving is pizza. # I have been quite well as such. But a point on my lower back now seems to be too eager to confirm its presence. Especially when I lie down on my back, it is as if the whole tension is concentrated on that one point. Thankfully, the pain disappears as soon as I turn and lie on my left/right side. # Frankly, I appreciate that I am on the path of having kids later than sooner. Make no mistake, I am not appreciating infertility. I am actually happy that parenthood is not a blech-obvious-succession thing for me. Case in point: A friend's friend X got married in December last year and she is due this December. X has still not adapted well with her new setting, but 'since she got married late, and had to have kids anyways' , she actually did not think about whether or not to become a parent already. How can having kids be equated with the same ease as having laxatives for constipation? She did not think of her reproductive choices, she did not consi...

I dreamt this in the night bridging 10th and 11th May. I woke up from it and it remained alive in my consciousness. Initially, I did not believe it to be a fertility related dream, but after I spoke to my mother about it, I understood that it could have connections to my fertility issues. I was standing in a rectangular backyard…actually it stretched quite a bit, because a common courtyard ran for all the houses. I do not remember about the house from which I emerged. The door was closed and I had come out to pluck flowers. Well, the courtyard on my right had been segregated by low fencing marking the different houses. On my left there was an open stretch. There were no plants in sight except one crepe jasmine tree that was on my left side and at the absolute end of the courtyard (diagonally). I check out by crossing to the end of the right side as well, and well there were no plants and hence no flowers. The crepe jasmine tree was round shaped and the branches, leaves and flowers were...

It struck me when I was brushing my teeth today morning ( Yes, I CAN think when I brush ) that the flat I am moving into is in the same building as the first doctor I hunted (Dr. MA) here in G. I wonder how awkward or not awkward my first brush with her is going to be. ^WiseGuy^

On the heels of my inordinately lengthy post on traversing the doctor jungle , comes this inordinately lengthy post that puts into words, dreams that I have had, and which I have found as directly connected to my fertility. I did not begin by thinking that dreams are messengers, nor did I ever go for scientific long-drawn analysis of what I saw while asleep. Readers of the blog, who have been reading it for at least a while, would know that I tend to remember what I see in my dream, or atleast the important dreams stick around in my woken-up state as well. As was the nature of Good Doctor Hunting , this post is also an effort to tie down all the different dreams that I have had, and the ones that I still have in my memory. And do read the post in your leisure time, not in a hurry. Maybe some of you would be able to explain me some symbolisms or meanings rooted in your cultural background. *** My dreams border on the bizarre side. Skip the post in case you are too sensitive, can’t hand...

This is a lengthy post, and I did much rather have you read it at leisure than to have you hastily skim through. It is not brimming with opinion, just historical perspective. I just want to document the whole list of doctors; I have gone to with fertility related troubles. It is more of my desire to remember the misses, before I found my current one. I am most likely to be shaky in the details and might jumble up a bit as well. But I will keep on editing or modifying this if, as and when needed. 2003 The one doctor, who has been my stable rock, is my mother ( Dr. V ) who is into Obstetrics and Gynaecology. With her reference, I went to meet Dr. AB in 2003 regarding some advice about which contraceptive to use. 2004 For almost the entire 2004, I was quiet on the IF front because I was using BCPs and had zero inkling of what lay ahead. October-November 2004, was my first go at having a baby. I would still rate my efforts at having a baby as passive. I took advice from V as to how...