My Lady of the Lantern

Hey there people, today I want to talk about my favourite colour. Before we start, I want to tell you this. I am impermanent in several things and colour is one such entity. Today I want you to meet five of my favourite blue things. I am a big fan of Vincent Van Gogh art. It is a very crude way of putting it, but I have always be mesmerized by his strokes, the depth, direction and choice of colours. I specifically like two of his paintings - Starry Nights and Crows over the Wheatfields . So, I present to you here - Starry Nights! The second object of desire is sapphires - as controversial in the history of gem collectors as perhaps diamonds and onyx. Unlike pearls, Sapphires are supposed to bring great wealth or great misery upon its bearers and so people are careful about owning one. The forbidden fruit always has a greater lure! The next blue I want to show you is that of the peacock plume. It is a gorgeous sight to witness the dance of peacocks when rains arrive. And it is also a...

In one of my previous posts , I had promised that I will pass on L's gift to me. The sweet badge reads: And today I want to have the pleasure of passing it on... The List of Honorees Lori@Weebles Wobblog Cara@The Bear and The Comedian Clio@Dancing with Gaia Katery@Infertile Myrtle Emily@Apron Strings for Emily Barbara@Burble Brenda@Hope Springs Infertile Now ladies, you don't get away by just getting that badge...here are a few (31 is few) questions you need to answer in one word... I have blanked out my responses, just copy paste and do your thing here. Cheers! And pass it on! 1. Where is your cell phone? 2. Where is your significant other? 3. Your hair color? 4. Your mother? 5. Your father? 6. Your favorite thing? 7. Your dream last night? 8. Your dream/goal? 9. The room you’re in? 10. Your hobby? 11. Your fear? 12. Where do you want to be in six years? 13. Where were you last night? 14. What you’re not? 15. One of your wish list items? 16. Where you grew up? 17. The last thi...

All quiet on the western front! Literally! Well, not much is happening currently. While my staple of pills and Progesterone support continues, the fruits of the ET will get verified only on December 4. I cannot call it an anxious wait, only a long one! I have stopped being stressed. I do not know how this super condition arrived, but luckily, I did get hold of my 'turn-it-off' button. I am sure my embies are there, and I keep on touching my tummy reassuringly. With my mother's magic touch as well, I am sure something good is going to come out of all this. Till then, I am wandering in magical mushroom land, killing time with TV and music and computers! ^WiseGuy^

Was checking up on Barren Advice given out by Melissa to Amy , the past week. Amy felt at a complete loss over talking to somebody whose IVF cycle had turned out a bummer and Mel felt that talking out was a better form of support rather than silence. I liked what she recommended - what with the ice-cream and works. But frankly, in real life, I would have preferred silence. Much of my fertility woes are an open book for my female colleagues, especially at the place I am working for the past 20 months or so. And it is difficult indeed to survive like this at a place where I seem to be the only one who is reproductively challenged. I do not have a disease. Only that I need to take timed efforts to do what they have glided through easily, sometimes more than once, and each time successfully. So, it is very tough to really understand. I have never had rude responses. But I can easily detect the 'pity' in their voices. For the past few months, I have stopped discussing my cycle cha...

##November 20, 2008## Started the day by watching Sheryl Crow croon 'Everyday is a Winding Road'. Had an early lunch and went to the centre at 1350 Hrs. The procedure started at 1515 Hrs. I was asked to keep a full bladder for the procedure. Whew! No intracath, no anesthesia. Phenomenal! The procedure goes well and the doc tells me that I cooperated well. I hope I can say the same to my uterus as well! One wonderful thing was that prior to the procedure, my doc showed me where my uterus was and after the procedure, I got to take a pic of the 3 embies they put inside me. I remained on the operating room table for about an hour - just resting and then was transported to the post-operative recovery room. I have clicked some pics there, but as soon as I am able to transfer the pics to my laptop, I will show you what I saw for three more hours in the recovery room. I shared my room with another ET case and a lady who had an ectopic pregnancy and was bleeding. My doc advised me to li...

Like I wrote before, I was on strict bed rest for the past four days and it is only today that I am up and about (and it is quite a relief). I used these four days for sleeping and watching movies on TV. I also wanted to read (recently was gifted Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar ), but could not bring myself to do it. So, there were two and a half good movies that I watched - Match Point, The Talented Mr. Ripley and The Namesake (seen second time, caught the latter end). Anyways, Match Point was memorable and I found it ironic that the tennis pro's wife had a hard time conceiving, while his mistress found out that she was green through the affair. Has fertility got something to do with our thinking? Like is our brain also a natural contraceptive? Chloe was a nice girl and Chris married her only because of the networking that alliance with her brought. Nola was the carefree barefoot, who had nothing to lose - because she did not have anything at all, barring her saucy sexiness. When...

My doc SMSed me today with the ICSI and IVF results. Breaking News : Out of the 13 oocytes, 9 have been fertilized - 8 through ICSI and 1 through IVF Doc is satisfied with the results. Tomorrow at around 1500 Hrs, the ET will take place and the proposed plan is that 3 will be transferred. The rest will be frozen. Wow and Double Wow! I have been started with Progesterone(200 mg) from today. Wish me luck! I may not be able to blog tomorrow or even day after tomorrow but I hope that you will send your blessings my way because I am really hoping for all the good luck I could garner from the cosmos! ^WiseGuy^

Okay, so one really hungry babe made it to the hosp today. I think I have become too comfortable at the center. We reached there pretty early in the morning (around 8 o'clock) and except for the cleaning staff and OT Technicians there was just one more couple there. The TV in the reception lobby is controlled by the staff sitting at the counter. In their absence, the chemist turned on the TV and guess who got to play with the remote? Me! The first item on the schedule was oocyte harvest. Forget the numbers of the follicle size in my yesterday's post. Overall 17 eggs got picked. Post-selection, 13 were retained. I recovered well from the anaesthesia. I remember how shitty I felt after my D&C. Today was good. But I was told, that when I 'came out', I was crying and asking DH to promise me to let me name my babies (What? Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in action?). After that sometime in the afternoon (close to 1400 Hrs), we witnessed what has been possibly our closest...

Guess what...I am really 'someone' in the blogosphere. You want proof..really? Okay L gave me an award... and guess what it says... Here's what I am supposed to answer in one word.... 1. Where is your cell phone? Table 2. Where is your significant other? Train 3. Your hair color? Black-Brown 4. Your mother? Great 5. Your father? Adorable 6. Your favorite thing? Being Myself 7. Your dream last night? Horses 8. Your dream/goal? Children 9. The room you’re in? Familyroom 10. Your hobby? Reading 11. Your fear? Snakes 12. Where do you want to be in six years? Wiser 13. Where were you last night? Home 14. What you’re not? Patient 15. One of your wish list items? Disneyland 16. Where you grew up? Aha! 17. The last thing you did? Switched off the TV 18. What are you wearing? Gown 19. Your T.V.? Travel & Living 20. Your pet? Only Peeves (he he) 21. Your computer? Laptop 22. Your mood? Excited 23. Missing someone? Yeps 24. Your car? Official 25. Something you’re not wearing? Win...

My egg retrieval is tomorrow. I am nervous already. I am away from City G (and hence my workplace) for a while, till my protocol finishes. I want to take it easy even after I return back. I had a major official responsibility (an event scheduled for March-end 2009)on my shoulders. Today, I spoke to my Director and have hereby surrendered the lead organizing position. This is bittersweet for me. On one hand, I gave up a to-die-for credit on my resume and on the other hand, I will have a slightly easier life in office for the next few months. ^WiseGuy^

Was in at the center at around 9 today. My E2 levels read 1466 yesterday. Today, follicle count was done and six have been finalized – 3 from the right ovary (20,19,19) and 3 from the done-me-proud-this-time left ovary (18,16,16). Today morning I have taken my last Lupride injection. No more Ovugraf and Foligraf Injection for me. I have been asked to stop taking ASA (slow release Aspirin) from today. Tonight at 2215, I will be taking an HCG injection and on Tuesday morning will be reporting back at the center for egg retrieval (woohoo…woot…woot). Awesome, is it not? This time around I have a strong feeling that things are going totally my way! ^WiseGuy^

Okay Five Bummers from me.... And just copy-paste the questions and respond in the comments section. 1. Rihanna or Dido? Dido over Rihanna...unless it is about umbrellas that I want to hear. 2. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi...no doubt! 3. Action Figure or Teddy Bear? Teddy Bear 4. Summer or Winter? Winter 5. Mountains or Beaches? Beaches.... What has everyone brought? Check it out here .... ^WiseGuy^

...Coz I want to fly competently. Today the ultrasound revealed that follicles were growing and my E2 levels have also emerged as expected. I am fully on-track. My Ovugraf and Foligraf dosages have been reversed from today. And now Ovugraf and Foligraf strength is 150 I.U. and 75 I.U. respectively. DH accompanied me to the centre today (he did so yesterday as well). But I still cannot handle my chemistry with DH when my mother is around. Don't get me wrong. By chemistry I do not refer to hands-over-each-other. Rather than that, it is the communication pattern that is affected. My mother keeps on deriding me for talking to her son-in-law in less than perfect manner. My DH feels I do not talk to him properly when my mother is around. Whoa! I am not making any amends to this event (the kind that unfolded as a repeat today). I am only going to try and keep my opinions to myself when the two parties are together; I will not critique and I won't be forthcoming on things. More than an...

I had a Lupride prick on my sleepy ass today morning. (What else can come from me at 7 a.m. in the morning?). Needless to say, I felt no pain at all - was too zonged to even remember the lady who gave me the prick. I guess, with the next few days having the same schedule, I will check out her face, to say the least. Went to the hospital in the forenoon, with due consideration of the six hour gap, and had a sonography. My sonologist mouthed this word - PERFECT. Isn't that great? My E2 levels are also as expected. I continued with my Foligraf and Ovugraf injection. Essentially, doctors are thinking of Monday or Tuesday as the possible days for egg retrieval. I am not taking any mental load. I am not calculating cycle days and that is quite a relief. I have left it on my doctors and I am dealing with the IVF protocol, one day at a time. ^WiseGuy^

Me but not Dupree! In one of my previous posts , I had reported the Foligraf and Ovugraf protocol that I was following. However, rather than stopping the injections yesterday, my doc has advised me to continue with the same for a few more days. I had a sonography today and there are total 12 follicles of varying sizes in both my ovaries. Yipee, so my left ovary has woken up finally! I am expected to take a Lupride Injection (20 units) in the morning and Ovugraf and Foligraf Injection after atleast 6 hours of the Lupride. This will continue till the 15th of this month. ^WiseGuy^ P.S. I had been considering donation of my left ovary as a ping-pong ball. My plans are hereby happily cancelled.

My injections finished yesterday. 10th was crappy for me. I woke up feeling dull, had a headache and was awfully gloomy. In the afternoon, I took a nap and that is when I started feeling better. I told my doc about being depressed and she asked me to go watch a new comedy flick (I have better taste in movies than to tolerate that).What did I watch - Biography of Saddam Hussain on History Channel!!! Anyways, 11th was better for me. I think I am beginning to have ulcers in my mouth. I have to do something for that. I am already taking B-Complex supplements twice a day and the dosage cannot be upped anymore. So, now I am looking for options to deal with the mouth ulcers! ^WiseGuy^

What can multilingual translators do? This, which I have appended to this blog post is a mail written to a e-mail pal by me. It is stupid. I wrote some text and just for fun had it translated into German by a translator on my PC. After that, I had that text, re-translated back into English. The output was so funny that I have kept it on for almost six-seven years! Howdy R, I do not learn took Tibetan, however german as a choice of the subject in optional. I am does not carry certain if soybean of planting India is not virtual defense mechanism or, whether George shrub of pink boxer, but I am would really bet will regard shrub each customs of the joker, he. While far as goes during PhD, PhD stands pottery cliffs day. The other execution, that I have dries was belonged main hand, that sees, leaving the last the procedure of naturally, that the hand dries, without the hindrance of towels or one such obtrusive medium in the union droplets of the water with the air around the hand. The ...

I had my second set of injections today - the protocol reads, 7/11 8/11 9/11 10/11 11/11. I am taking two injections daily. One of them is Ovugraf HP 75 I.U . (Human Menopausal Gonadotrophin B.P.) and the other one is Foligraf 150 I.U.( r-hFSH, Recombinant-Human Follicle Stimulating Hormone for Injection). The side effects listed include increased incidences of multiple pregnancy. I like the sound of that. Secretly, I have always wanted twins. Am I close to achieving it? Maybe! I am positive and happy. I am away from my office and all the hustle-bustle that was usually surrounding me in City G. So, with a calmer mind, I can be more relaxed. Fingers crossed! ^WiseGuy^

Am I kidding? Seriously...I read this poem of hers and I wondered, "How apt!". FAITH is a fine invention For gentlemen who see; But microscopes are prudent In an emergency! ~ Emily Dickinson (1830–86) Source: http://www.bartleby.com/113/1056.html

Okay, so went to the hosp again and I was asked to get a sonography and E2 (Estradiol)test. E2 levels indicate that my uterus is close to the Luteal phase. My injection orgy will start from November 7. Meanwhile, four more medicines have been added to my daily diet including Folic Acid and low-dose aspirin. ^WiseGuy^

The culture report for the cyst fluid drained yesterday has come and is NEGATIVE. I am so happy. It means that from tomorrow onwards the injections can be started without hesitation. Signs Signs! And today marks my fifth wedding anniversary. ^WiseGuy^

So, I went to the hospital today as planned. What I knew was that I would have a sonography + cyst removal (if it had not gone away already)+ and my first injection. It turned out that the cyst in the right ovary was still present with zero changes in its size, in spite of the new medication. When aspirated, the outcome was a viscous fluid (pus-like material) which has been sent for culture. So, all these months, the perception that my 'chocolate' cyst had returned was disproved because the cyst contents were anything but typical chocolate fluid. The reports will come on Wednesday and hopefully my injections will be started from that day onwards. We would be three-days late from the original protocol and I want that this cycle get fructified. Antibiotics have been added to medicine staple. Ahem! ^WiseGuy^

I am. ^WiseGuy^

This week I want to share with you one of the most memorable books I have ever read – Mrityunjaya by Shivaji Sawant . I enjoy reading a lot. And the fact that I still remember how riveting this one was makes it so special for me. I read this book sometime in 2003. The book was bulky (of which I am not scared), but I realized that none of the pages were ‘wasted’ or dispensable. Mrityunjaya is the story of Karna – the great warrior from Mahabharata . In his archery skills, he was the only match for Arjuna (perhaps even better). Karna was born to Kunti before she was married. Even though his genesis was from a divine blessing (he was the son of Sun God - Surya), Karna spent his life bearing the stigma of having a low-caste birth (he was adopted by a charioteer family and remained ignorant about the identity about his actual parents until the fag end of his life). Kunti spent her life loaded under the guilt of her desertion of the newborn and inwardly singed by the taunts heaped on Karna ...

So, let’s have a update quickie! I came to City I past Sunday and was putting up at my in-laws’ place. Had a good family reunion for Diwali. Now, I have shifted to my mother’s place (reminder: mom is my background doc) and am more relaxed. But I am in a dilemma right now. You see, I have my IVF in November and so, I was expected to be in City I around 3rd November for half-dozen daily injections. Originally the plan was to have the first shot here in City I and then travel back to City G to settle office chores and apply for a longer leave. I would have carried my injections with me and would have again returned back for last shot, so that immediate monitoring could begin. Now I am being advised that rather than leaving on 3rd only to return on 7th, I must not go back at all. It is a tempting prospect. After all, I am already about to take a 20 day break from office minus-pay, so what are 4-5 days more? But, I am concerned about the things that require my attention in office and what ...