My Lady of the Lantern

I have been here a while. My IF blog was formed a year after I forayed into blogging, but 2008 does earn me "here for a while" status.  I was new, looking for support, and unsure about networking. I chanced upon blogs, sometimes through snowballing, but mostly through Stirrup Queens.  Today, I get as many comments as I used to get when I just began blogging. It is some blog midlife crisis, perhaps?  No, I am not ruing over the lack of comments here . It just seems to me that the group that used to fill my corner of the world has imperceptibly dispersed. It's like people picked up their bags and left. Some said their Goodbyes, and others did not. And gradually, the room has just emptied itself.  On a good Monday, I have about 6-7 unread posts on my reader from the weekend. On normal days, it is measly 2-3. If one sees my blogroll (HauntHop), much of the lower 80 percent is static in terms of its rung. That is because only 5-6 of my 50 regular reads ar...

I was in primary section, when one day our class was informed about this book fair that would be held in the school next day. A brochure was also circulated with the information, and we were required to go through and bring exact change to buy any book we wanted. The books were divided into age-apt categories, and I eventually purchased a book that had the same title as this post.  And No, is what appears to be a generic response these days.  Yesterday, DH took me and Figlia for a movie show in the afternoon. He discussed his intention on Saturday, and I had to actively stop myself from saying No for the same.  I am scared that if I do something to indulge myself, or something that is enjoyable, it will jinx my happiness for good. That something will happen to make me lament why I anyways decided to have any fun at all.  I have precedents in Figlia's first year for that fear, and I had a prayer on my lips to let the day pass event-less.  Fig...

I read through the initial few posts of 2012. It's a collection of a shell-shocked new mum's early days, and I am amused at the number of times sleep was mentioned in those posts.  Am I sleeping much better now? No. In fact, as I came down to the six month posts, I realized that Figlia's night feeds were far lesser in number than what M has. M is still taking almost 4-5 feeds in the night! There are several differences between them. M goes cranka-doo when he is sleepy. He will writhe and try to slither out of anyone's grasp when he is sleepy. Best thing to do is to put him on bed and calm him with a feed. The world may be falling apart, but not tonight, baby!  Figlia used to get up in the morning and call out to anyone who would listen. M wakes up, rolls to his belly, if he is not on it already, and just engages himself. It is not necessary to be at his bedside immediately after he has woken up.  ~~TMI ahead Figlia never had a poo schedule. That incon...

It's M's half birthday today, and to celebrate it we will be going to get his 6 monthly vaccines done today evening.  Sundays at the house are crazy. Seriously, why have I not read anywhere yet about older ones who refuse to let the younger one go to nap? Figlia was on the same track yesterday, and though she stopped doing her nap-interference faster than before, I still have to convince her to let M nap. I don't want to scream at Figzy for it, but it is quite exasperating. Yesterday morning, there came a time when both the children were screaming top-lung, and it was horrible.  Figzy is bent on doing some things for M, and God forbid if someone overtakes her privilege for the same. Something akin to that happened, and she was cranky and baby was fussy and the house was rocking on high-pitched crying.  Seriously, if I could blank advice anyone, I would say that having more age gap between kids is better, unless you have an amazing 24x7 support system ...

My periods came last evening. Hurrah! They were 16 days late, and I chose to not test. I am glad they came. However, they coincided right with my parents departing, and I had perceived it to be painful and anxiety inducing. Because last night passed well, things are better.  M had colic last evening. But it is better for it to happen at 7 pm than midnight. Thank God for Gracy, coz she held him while I got his meds, and used a home remedy. He was finally soothed. He slept at around 7:45 pm-ish, and woke up today around 7:30 with several feeds in his sleepy state.  Our current arrangement is such that everyone sleeps together. DH and F, and M and I but on different beds in the same room.  F had been berserk this gone week, and it was grating. She was literally bumping off the walls, she had a temper, tantrums to throw and a tongue to match. Add a generous dollop of whine, and that was her with us. She was pretty calm after everything "returned" to normal last e...

Sorry about all my recent posts having a blue tone to them. This one will not be different because I have not slept well last night at all. M came yesterday morning. I took an off from work, because I knew that going to work would clash straight with their arrival and that would make everything a little confused. Plus, I got a chance to quickly settle everything and everyone. Figlia went on a instant high because her favourite people were home - her grandparents and "little baby".  DH left for work, and thank god for Gracy (our part time nanny, who has started with us just this week), because Gracy became my extra hand. So, if F was after my parents, M was with us, and vice versa.  As has happened before, Figlia managed to thwart M's attempts to nap, and he was cranky by the time he slept late in the afternoon. Thankfully, with feeds in between he did nap for almost 3 hours. Figzy napped too, which afforded him the luxury.  I am seriously hoping F wil...

I am overdue for my AF. It is ten days up, today.  - - - I crossed my own unstated rule of blogging in the last post. I like to stay fuzzy about who I am referring to ("someone on my side/ hubby's side"), sometimes the details of the incident and such, and I let it loose in the last post.  Not good. - - - I am stressed about several things and the first point of this post is one of them.  - - - M will be here by Friday. - - - I went for an evening walk last night post-dinner. It was motivated by angst, and I was seething when I went out, but I enjoyed the weather, and the darkness outside. It reminds me of the fact that I have always loved nights more than mornings. There is so much to write, and I have no yen for it.