My Lady of the Lantern

I have been feeling very off-the-hook for the past few days. I am not really grinding myself with the who, why me or how of my infertility. Can I call it subfertility (it feels better and that is how one of my doc files recites my case)? There is something gnawing at me and I am seeking some closure for it. Nancy wrote a beautiful comment for me on a previous post. Though it singed to read it initially, I have to thank her for being resolute and pointing out facts rather than just core-cushioning me. And though I did not write much of a response to her beyond a sheer ~Thank You~, she gave me a lot of food for thought. So here it is: I believe I was pregnant. And that my beta was tested after the levels started falling, hence the BFN. For me any later pregnancy and resulting children will not be 4, 5 or 6. I believe my babies are destined for my womb only. And so those who went away will come back to me again eventually. I am at peace, for now! ^WiseGuy^

Case I: W got married and within three months she came to know that she had conceived. Why have a kid so early in marriage and for this simple reason she had the baby aborted. Later she conceived again and lost the baby in the fifth month. She conceived again and had a normal delivery. As of today, she is the proud mother of two daughters.[It is also rumored that she had found out that she was pregnant four months prior to her wedding and she and her fiance had disposed off the baby for the fear of bringing shame to their respective families.] Case II: W got married and was detected with a fibroid. Around the same time, she conceived and on some adverse opinion from her doctor had an MTP. A second opinion post-MTP concluded that she actually did not need the MTP(!). Second time she became pregnant, she delivered a healthy baby boy. Power of Contraception be damned, she conceived again within two years, which she promptly got terminated. Case III: W got married and because of lack...