My Lady of the Lantern

You know, that’s the thing with infertility….it is always on your mind! Was making soup for myself in the afternoon and voluntarily started chanting ‘Ram Ram Ram….’ mentally. That’s when it struck me that it was just a sign of my nervousness. When I was a child, my mother had asked me to repeat the words whenever I was afraid (and it did happen coz I couldn’t stop myself from consuming horror shows and then every dark nook of my house would start looking creepy). I have been on Eudrin this cycle. I always found that in ovulation induced cycles, my periods tend to come earlier than the normal dates and usually within a couple of days of withdrawal of progesterone support. Now, five days are already up and I am not bleeding yet. This is fraying my nerves. I don’t want my periods to come and I don’t know whether they would come or if there is any iota of hope I could stick to. I have been harassing myself all afternoon - imagining a work afternoon informing my colleague that I needed t...

I had a D and C on July 27th and God help me, coz I can’t forget how icky I felt. My hatred for that hospital loo, the smell of the consultation room, the needle-prick and drop-your-clothes-here just intensified that day. I was absolutely broken when I was out of the Anaesthesia. I can never describe how much I despised being poked, scraped and pricked. My doctor had planned an IUI for me this cycle. And had the plan panned on Tuesday (CD14, Aug 5). The follicle in my right ovary refused to rupture. My Serum Prolactin levels show that even though it fell in the normal range, the Prolactin level is on a higher side. Anyways, I was on a cocktail of Ubiphene, Nacfil, Fertibex, Cabgolin and Eudrin for this cycle. I was given an HCG injection on 3rd August. Even with the induction, no follicles were formed in the left ovary, which is perfectly free of any cysts. The fruit was borne in the right ovary (how ironic) which has a chocolate cyst and in spite of the HCG, the follicles in th...