You know, that’s the thing with infertility….it is always on your mind!
Was making soup for myself in the afternoon and voluntarily started chanting ‘Ram Ram Ram….’ mentally. That’s when it struck me that it was just a sign of my nervousness. When I was a child, my mother had asked me to repeat the words whenever I was afraid (and it did happen coz I couldn’t stop myself from consuming horror shows and then every dark nook of my house would start looking creepy).
I have been on Eudrin this cycle. I always found that in ovulation induced cycles, my periods tend to come earlier than the normal dates and usually within a couple of days of withdrawal of progesterone support. Now, five days are already up and I am not bleeding yet. This is fraying my nerves.
I don’t want my periods to come and I don’t know whether they would come or if there is any iota of hope I could stick to. I have been harassing myself all afternoon - imagining a work afternoon informing my colleague that I needed to rush home as I am ‘down’ and have no change of clothes/preparation; writing an e-mail to a close friend in Dubai informing her of a good news etc.
This WaitLand phase is chewing my grey cells…bleed if you have to bleed, bless me and don’t bleed…please let me stop thinking about it!
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