My Lady of the Lantern

Meh: I have nausea - the one that makes me puke kind; the one that hits me any time of the day kind. Not-Meh: I am pregnant. Meh: I have acidity; and digestive issues. Not-Meh: I am pregnant. Meh: My hair isn't falling out but my skin has dry patches.  Not-Meh: I am pregnant. Meh: My doc advised me to not hold Figzy for long, but I do have to relent and hold her.  Not-Meh: Figzy is communicating with the baby already, spontaneously. She kisses my belly, and says "Hi!". Meh: I have to plan a few things. I am planning for the months ahead; specifically the third trimester, and I hate to have make changes for myself and my daughter. She would go with me. It would disrupt her life too. Not-Meh: Eventually, we all re-group at one place and take it from there. 

Stupid Stupid Office! These guys make me work, can you believe it? I mean, how dare they, right? Anyways, work got in the way of this update. I cam back from the hospital a few hours back.  There's a baby in there. And baby M's heart is beating! I couldn't contain my squealing. I dreamt of a white tiger today morning, but you have no idea of the range of dumbing measures I employed over the week to keep myself from obsessing over today's appointment.  As of today I am good. Good. There's more I want to say and I hope to say it in a couple of days. But, I am good.   :-)

Had an u/s today. One gestational sac was seen but the doc wasn't satisfied by whatever that she could/couldn't see inside the sac. "There can be several reasons", she said and asked to repeat the sonography in seven days . I don't feel hopeless currently and hopefully I can sustain this numb mind frame till next Thursday. Come on, baby!!!

Just want to put into words the gratitude I feel for this pregnancy.  And even though there are going to be twenty thousand whines that will be creeping up in the next few months, I am just very very relieved to have achieved this, to have managed this. 

I had a blood draw on Thursday, and the results were out yesterday. It's a soothing 1004. Yup. I had a telephonic conversation with someone in the lab, and she conveyed the number to me. Later, when I picked up the report, the guy on the counter took a few extra seconds to "find" and print my report, which gave me enough time to get a nervous twinge. - - - - Still nothing significant to report on symptoms front. I did feel a little queasy last night (though I wonder if it is psychological?). I have been feeling slightly drowsy during the day too, but until the discovery of this week, I felt my lazy stupor was a brought-on of the summer. Historically, I have had night nausea rather than morning sickness in both the pregnancies, so this is nothing out of the line for me. My stomach's turned sensitive. Certain things are doing a number on my bowels.  - - - - I am trying to stay calm and more composed. It's a transformation that happened o...

I had spotting the day AF was due - light pink discharge, and then nothing.  I tend to not buy HPTs when AF is due, because it feels like I will induce my periods just by purchasing them. Since I didn't have any at home and there was no option, I got one yesterday evening. And so I tested today. And there were two very dark lines. Afterwards, I was shivering for perceptible seconds with excitement, and I couldn't go back to sleep. There are no specific symptoms that I can point out.  Image Courtesy: http://paradiseintheworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/moscow-kremlin.jpg (No copyright claimed by me. No commercial use intended.) 

This one is a paradoxical post. It's not too tough to compose and write it, and yet it is not easy for me to put it here. I am only sharing it here with the purpose of a vent-out.  Figzy has always been a  spirited child. She has been determined, and very active for whatever while that I have raised her. She is four days away from being 27 months old. She has always been very independent as well.  I can't feed her ever since she realized that she could do it herself. Our pram cum stroller went out of fashion the day she learnt to get down from it. Nowadays, with varying dexterity she can wear and take off various items of clothing. She began choosing clothes a while ago. She is confident and chirpy. (The following points may appear disjointed, but just bear with me.) She has been extremely irritable (on a scale of 1 - 10, I would give it 9). I ascribe it to her recent sickness, but overall it has been grating my nerves. The setup at home is dynamite. ...

One of the things I have heard in context of those who commit suicide is that if only they had taken time for a second thought, or if some distraction had occurred in the heat of the moment, they might have decided otherwise. That chance of second thought is so true in case of this post, because I was a hair-width away from a brooding, rantsy post about my beloved.  I had it all brewed and ready to be served, and then we had a conversation today morning that took away my steam. So no antsy post for you. You can hear my w(h)ine later, when the grapes get sour again. - - - We have begun talking school for Figzy. The daycare which she attends also has a playgroup, and that's where she would be doing playgroup. But for further academic sessions, the school we are really keen on is about a 50 minutes ride on the bus to and fro. A lot of neigbourhood kids attend that school, and every bus also has a school staff, but still this 'journeying' is what I am hesitant abou...

So, the good news is that we had a normal night of sleep yesterday, which given the fact that Figzy is unwell goes into the 'good' category of normal. Her temp shot up again early morning today, but it did not go as high as it had yesterday.  I experienced one of the worst night outs in the last two years, last night.  We had an invite for a birthday party, and our host repeatedly requested us to be on time (7:30 p.m.). Since DH was going to come home around his usual 8:15, I had earlier informed the host that we won't make it there till 8:30. Anyways, I made an alternative arrangement so that Figzy and I reached the party early and DH would show up late. (DH informed me in early evening, that he would come around only by 9 or so.)  With Figzy sick, I knew that things would not run as usual. She initially did not want to change her clothes after she came home from daycare. Then, once she changed her clothes, I dressed up in utter haste, and we left for the ve...

All that I posted about potty training advances has literally gone down the t#ilet. I am eating crow pie.  There was nothing perceptible till now in the bug world that particularly upset Figzy. Well, we have discovered that cockr.oaches are absolute terror. They could be just scurrying around and my daughter would scream and climb up on me, and does not get down. It has turned warmer over the days, and we have a roach park opening soon in both the bathrooms. And last week, she was in the bathroom when she saw one of the roaches, and since then she absolutely refuses to go use the loo.  No amount of persuasion or coaxing is making her budge. My bug spray has already done the round, and there are hardly any more to be seen, but she still refuses to go. I tell her that they are harmless or that I have already taken care of them, and that "See, mama is brave and you have to be brave too". - - - Figlia woke up in dark-outside hours today morning, babbling. I f...