My Lady of the Lantern

I had a major anxiety attack yesterday, and it took me a lot of time to just settle down. It happened so that last week, I paid out my share of what I had promised for the land we are purchasing in the hometown. The money went poof from my salary account. And what used to read something like 7,00,000 X read in the figures of 84,000 X. I have never seen such serious dwindling in my liquid reserves.  Suddenly, the money that was always there is just not there. I can't splurge. I cringe everytime I pay for anything these days. Then, Gracy asked for some advance on Saturday.  On Monday they floated a form in the office, and I realized that Feb salary would get delayed because of the tax filing that every single person has to do. Oh God! That feeling of spending money that you don't have, is so heavy these days.  I have money in a lot of places...some into fixed deposits, some invested into the share market. It is just that I don't have the honey jar now. I w...

It's my first post of 2019, I should be adding confetti to the post. I can't!  L turned eight years today.  March/April will be a month of upheaval for the family, and right now, even though, March won't come before March, and April won't come before April, it does not prevent the anxiety cat from sitting on the windowsill already.  I will be going to my hometown jobless, with a mortgage on my name. Kids will be going to a new school that was in our consideration set and not choice set. Hubby dreams of eventually getting my in-law's house in shape, and a joint family setup, but that will be a whole lot of adjustment on its own. On the plus side, I will be putting up at my parents' place for the initial months so daily life should be easier. I have resigned already, but will be working till Feb end to say the least (and I need the money).