My Lady of the Lantern

My ears are closed. No, literally, there is loud music blaring in my ears...I am at work and fed up of the number of walk-ins into my tiny space with students lined up for a submission. I can tell that my colleague is back in her cubicle because I can smell her perfume again. Super nose, that is what I have these days. I am slated for another blood test, and I am trying to delay it. I can't look at a sucky hemoglobin count. If it has dipped further, I have a free pass for iron shots. I hate shots unless they get you a high. I hate the nausea that does not permit me to have as much food as I would want to in actual terms. Figzy has fever again, and I am trying to not be too worked up about it. I am in the last week of work before I go on leave. I am surprised to be a little beyond 24 weeks now. It seems too fast. M is a kicker, and a mighty one. I like having Figlia place her hand on my tummy and we feel the baby together sometimes. I had a major shouting match with DH on Saturday ...

Technically, the last day of August is the last day of me in office. But it seems the break is light years ahead. The next few days are whirlwind, with Sunday being working too. - - - There is nothing much in terms of cravings that I have in this pregnancy, except well, potato chips. And I can't stand tofu...neither the smell, nor the taste. - - - My nausea is back.  - - - Figzy is again passing through a whiny phase and it is not pretty. It takes steel reserve to let her cry it out and not relent. Relenting would only firm up her resolve to repeat the crying, and I can do well without it.  And we are not crying on big things really.  Our common problem these days is that she does not want to get inside the door after we come back home. I adore standing outside the house's front door in the evening attempting persuasion and bribery and fancy stories to get her inside. Because it is very adorable to do so, we could be standing outside for a f...

Feeling M generously is such a blessing. I take out the time to cut myself from my surroundings to focus on what is happening between M and me. That 'separation' never happened, or had to be planned for either L or Figzy, but it seems I have too much going on all the time and don't pay enough attention to M.  - - - I felt BH very early this particular pregnancy. Over the last week, I have also experienced distinctive tightening of my uterus. For the same reason, I have been put on Ally.lest.renol from this week.  - - - M is mostly a night baby, and kicks the most around quarter to 9 p.m. But I can feel him/her throughout the day too.  - - - One of the things that weighs on my mind is that I documented offline, daily record of Figzy's first year, and I hardly feel it will be possible for M. I feel guilty about it already. I wouldn't be very scrupulous even if I gave it a go. - - - My parents are here, and Figlia is absolutely into the...

Figzy, where does Papa go to pee? Bathroom. Figzy, where does Mummy go to pee?  Bathroom. Where does Figzy need to go? *giggles* Here! - - -  Why did you pee here? Whhhhhy diiiiiid yooooou pee heeeere? It's just water. - - - Carrot:  Give me juice. Papa, give me juice. Figzy, tell me, where do we go when we want to pee? Bathroom. Good girl. 'gets the juice and finishes it' You do remember where we go when we want to pee? Here!  *headdesk* - - - Stick: Papa will not talk to you. Despite my telling you so many times, you still pee here. I will not talk to you. 'two seconds of quiet' Papa Papa Papa Papa Papa Papa Papa Papa Papa Papa  What? I am not talking to you. *headdesk* - - - Figzy is refusing to go pee in the bathroom at home, even though she is doing it successfully in daycare. I wouldn't have been flustered, if she hadn't behaved otherwise before. We had bec...