My Lady of the Lantern

The silence on the blog has been deliberate. An intentional cut-down of the my-time on the internet, so that I could pursue something to finality. Lot of things have happened in between; completely unexpected turn of events and all. I want to blog about them, and surely will when I can put some concerted effort into documenting and weaving my words. I cut the silence to say something important: Kaiser/Lola is likely to be here on January 14th. A C-Section is in the offing. O.M.G.!!!! And I find myself unprepared to the hilt. I planned my shopping for the 'reprieve days' I had in City X, and I won't be making to the City X minus Kaiser, which means I need stuff for the baby and all. OMG! My mother is here, and it has brought in some semblance of sanity with me wanting to have done something completely before Kaiser/Lola came. Now Kaiser is going to be here sooner than I expected. OMG! I had composed a letter to the baby around December 28th/29th and I want to post it here, b...

I kept on wondering if I should post it or not...but then I decided that since this space is meant to document , well, I should write it down and all. I am pretty close to ending this cycle. I am normally a 33-day cycle girl, and for the past few cycles, my AF has arrived around CD31. I still don't feel like it is on its way. So this one cycle could be correcting back the pre-pone gene in all the three cycles that have whizzed past. On the other hand, my nipples are sensitive to touch and I had mild cramping a few days back. Atleast one part of this cycle is like the January one....but the difference is that I had taken Clomid then and was on progesterone in the latter half of the cycle. This cycle, I have neither been on Clomid nor have I taken any progesterone pills. Please hope for me, but don't leave me words that you believe I am pregnant or so. I can have all the symptoms and not one thing that comes out of it. There is now just one unopened strip of HPT remaining in my r...

Yes, AF arrived. Right on the date I had adjudged it would. I had stopped on my ASA from December 29, 2009 just hoping to have more controlled bleeding this time. I will write about how that goes. This cycle plan states Clomid (Siphene 100 mg) from CD2-CD6 which is January 3 - January 7, 2010. Also I will start Duphaston (Progesterone, 10 mg) from CD14 for 14 days. Hopefully, I will make eggs. Hopefully the follicles will rupture. Hopefully, I will conceive this time around. Jumping hoops of hope right now. ^WiseGuy^

Nopes, Agnedy Fugnimima is nowhere to be seen. She was expected y'day morning. When I woke up, I was not 'feeling' as if she was about to show up. This month my CM mutation happened around CD22/23, a little later than CD16/17, so I am assuming that I ovulated late and so Miss AF would rather be showing up around the 2nd of Jan? That is my guess. My guess is as good as mine, and as bad as mine. *smirk* Just be here, okay? ^WiseGuy^

Dear God, I wanted my Valentine's Day on Valentine's itself. But you have already delayed my rosy blooming. Meanwhile, I have waited and waited. Had I got lucky with AF on 14th, I would have been in the fag end by now. Alas, that was not to be, given your great desire to test my patience and keep my faith rock-solid. As usual, I am creeping up on your holy blessings wall of fame, one more time. You see, I expect a very busy workday tomorrow and some amount of local travelling. Can you please deliver the goods a little later than tomorrow? I know I am demanding too much from you. I have already demanded babies, but they do not seem to be coming by my way....atleast let my proof of infertility be controlled? Thank You God! Everybody keeps telling me that I must not lose faith in you, ever and that you are just testing my faith. Unfortunately, why am I the subject of constant examination is something I fail to understand. W who had a baby in the last week of January 2009, is tempo...

My streak of super-comments is uninterrupted. One of our acquaintances has welcomed a newborn on January 26th into their family. I spent few hours with them on that day. I visited them again last night. I was coming out of the nursing home, just as the paternal grandmother was entering. I congratulated her and she replied, positively beaming Awww, now you too have to give us some good news soon. Somebody get me a drilling machine, please! This good news business is cracking me up really. ^WiseGuy^

AF was expected on January 8th (unless my math has gone down the drain). I am still waiting for it to bang on my doors. How sad is that? The wait is unnerving. It's like being on a No-Man's Land, where you don't know where you will land eventually. I am hoping that it arrives soon, so that I can plan the rest of this month and especially February accordingly. I don't even want to mention the possibility of something else being the reason of AF not arriving. I don't get strike-lucky. Four Years in the saddle have taught me that well. ^WiseGuy^

I have still not recounted my ICLW experience. I have been on that list for the past three months, I believe. But the December 2008 experience was the most active one. Prior to December, I had a very ad hoc way of covering the list. I only got back to people who left comments on mine (I am pathetic, I know!). In December as well, I did not really aim to be an Iron Commentator. However, what I aimed at was covering the list as much as possible and more systematically than before . And the fact that I read about 52 blogs (several of them new for me) made the exercise very rewarding. I have left comments on 95 percent of the blogs. This really was serious fun. It is easier to cover the Show and Tell participants because they are more limited and I have found that the group which is active on that list is mostly common to every week. Since S&T happens more frequently, it is easier for me to maintain continuity and a sense of direction as to what that blogger/blog normally talks about a...