My Lady of the Lantern

What happens when a colleague darts a 'Are you pregnant?' even before she manages to mouth a cursory greeting to you first thing in the morning? Well, when it happened to me today, I fumbled. I mumbled a 'No' and then changed my sentence to 'Yes, I am pregnant'. I had decided I would never lie about it. I had thought of revealing it myself, but I guess having too many married women in their reproductive age around you as colleagues comes with knowledge-strings attached. I know for one that I would have guessed it too. I know for two, that I would not have asked myself. The lady who asked me is not particularly close to me. The grapevine was fired up today in the office. I am planning to go meet my Director tomorrow and let him know. I am not sure if he has heard it already. Well, and my 'reveal' plans got butted out like some of the best-laid plans do. How do I feel about it? Well in one day, I had several pseudo- and genuine consideration filled encount...

Your Honour, that you would not like to give me a job if I had this attitude on the day of the job interview. That I survived where I survived only because I had been at the same place for three years, and that suddenly I had moved in first ten of the faculty list...where it was a double digit initially. No Sir, in fact, if you give me something I do not like, I will cook up any excuses to make you take that pesky assignment away. Yes Sir, I have heard what they say behind my back, and I do not think they are correct. But it is not their fault, I do not tell them anything anyways, and so they are left with guessing and all. Yes Sir, Please take this back. You know what I will be doing post-thesis...giving babymaking a solid chance. Yes Sir, I do not think I can handle this assignment. Yes it is just because I do not want any more stressors than what are anyways present. P.S. I would love an increment Sir....my salary account seems to have a hole. ^WiseGuy^

I caught myself doing it on Wednesday. I tried to stop and I kept on doing it. Then I came to my senses and found that I was decorating the backside of my class notes. Sheesh! Out came the whitener and the wand touched the page such that nothing could now be read underneath. I did it again today. But it felt so good. You see, I was scribbling the intended names of my children. I am not sure if I have mentioned it elsewhere, but I am fixed on two boy names, and a beautiful girl name for quite a while now. One boy name is gone already. I am just hoping that the rest of the names remain unused till my kids are born and brought into this world. Anyways, today my writing space was the back of an envelope meant to be trashed. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote the names to my heart's content and got it out of my system. I haven't ever been scribbling those names at all before this. And even DH does not know the names that I have chosen. I want to be talking about something else as wel...

It is my great pleasure to annouce, the sooner-than-expected arrival of Ms AF today afternoon. She decided to come bother me while I was in office (and I still am), and made me take a sanitary napkin favour from a colleague. She came three days early. Thank you A aafra F aafra, because in the previous two cycles, you made me wait nothing less than 5-7 days before appearing. Thank you for saving me any expectation. Thank You for setting the mood of my 200th post. Clapping! ^WiseGuy^

Well there had been a meeting in the office on Saturday evening and the Director asked us to submit choices for assignments in the next calendar year by Tuesday. The deal is that we may not get exactly everything of our liking, but allocations are made looking at preferences. If you remember this November post , my extended stay in City I then had caused me to surrender a plum assignment. Well, this time I was openly asked whether I would want to do it this year, and I turned down the offer outright. There is so much commitment (time, efforts and strategizing) involved that if I am planning an IVF/ICSI cycle again, there would be an ill-available me at some key points. Anyways, I spoke to my Director yesterday, (in private, behind closed doors) and I let him know that I am likely to take a month off. (My problem is that I need to travel overnight to a totally different city to meet my RE and there are no appropriate experts available here in G ). For IUI or just timed cycles, medical ...

So, this colleague of mine got some cake (left-over) to the office today. It was her daughter's birthday yesterday. Well, I got the cake. Evening, when all of us, were collecting stuff to get packing to home, she started walking around the cabins, handing over gift-wrapped items to some of my colleagues. She came to the cabin right in front of mine, but skipped my cave. She had colouring books(return gifts even though nobody from office was invited at home). I did not get it coz I do not have kids. Home Running the Message? I am stating this incident as a matter-of-fact, not as a matter-of-hurt. I think she could have been a bit subtle about it. But what can be expected from a batch of uber-fertiles? ^WiseGuy^

That sounds like a good question, doesn’t it? Several things – One , I am not going for any ultrasounds till March 2009. Two , No pill-popping whatsoever (discounting the tapering in Wysolone dosage). Three , No needles, no syringes and no Lupride! Four , No counting cycle days, no worrying about ovulation. Just keep a tab of when AF is expected. Five , Read books and unwind by stressing over Phd synopsis. Six , Introspection. Seven , Connect better – with everybody including the guy in the deep skies or the seas or wherever the humans claim him to be! Eight . Keep a low profile in office! Nine , what do you think should be the ninth item in my list? ^WiseGuy^

My egg retrieval is tomorrow. I am nervous already. I am away from City G (and hence my workplace) for a while, till my protocol finishes. I want to take it easy even after I return back. I had a major official responsibility (an event scheduled for March-end 2009)on my shoulders. Today, I spoke to my Director and have hereby surrendered the lead organizing position. This is bittersweet for me. On one hand, I gave up a to-die-for credit on my resume and on the other hand, I will have a slightly easier life in office for the next few months. ^WiseGuy^

So, let’s have a update quickie! I came to City I past Sunday and was putting up at my in-laws’ place. Had a good family reunion for Diwali. Now, I have shifted to my mother’s place (reminder: mom is my background doc) and am more relaxed. But I am in a dilemma right now. You see, I have my IVF in November and so, I was expected to be in City I around 3rd November for half-dozen daily injections. Originally the plan was to have the first shot here in City I and then travel back to City G to settle office chores and apply for a longer leave. I would have carried my injections with me and would have again returned back for last shot, so that immediate monitoring could begin. Now I am being advised that rather than leaving on 3rd only to return on 7th, I must not go back at all. It is a tempting prospect. After all, I am already about to take a 20 day break from office minus-pay, so what are 4-5 days more? But, I am concerned about the things that require my attention in office and what ...