My Lady of the Lantern

On the heels of my inordinately lengthy post on traversing the doctor jungle , comes this inordinately lengthy post that puts into words, dreams that I have had, and which I have found as directly connected to my fertility. I did not begin by thinking that dreams are messengers, nor did I ever go for scientific long-drawn analysis of what I saw while asleep. Readers of the blog, who have been reading it for at least a while, would know that I tend to remember what I see in my dream, or atleast the important dreams stick around in my woken-up state as well. As was the nature of Good Doctor Hunting , this post is also an effort to tie down all the different dreams that I have had, and the ones that I still have in my memory. And do read the post in your leisure time, not in a hurry. Maybe some of you would be able to explain me some symbolisms or meanings rooted in your cultural background. *** My dreams border on the bizarre side. Skip the post in case you are too sensitive, can’t hand...

Before you dive into this week's Show and Tell, there is a luscious news that has made its appearance yesterday. Yes folks, two IF bloggers have reported BFPs! Polly@In 2 Me See and S@By the pricking of my thumbs .... something wicked this way comes have clocked POAS heaven. Go congratulate them! And here we begin this week's show and tell! Scenario 1: You are walking on a street and an acquaintance stops by – Hey there, how are you? Aww, I am fine! How are you? I am fine too! Scenario 2: At a supermarket, you bump into somebody – Hey, long time, no see! How are you? Oh, I am fine! How are you? Same here! See the pattern there? We are programmed to usually answer “I am fine” even when what we are going through is contrary to what we are mouthing. That is the fodder for this Show and Tell. You see, I saw a movie (a long while back), which I did not forget. The movie was – Everybody Says I'm Fine . And its pretext is that no matter what hell runs through the private lives of ...

This is a lengthy post, and I did much rather have you read it at leisure than to have you hastily skim through. It is not brimming with opinion, just historical perspective. I just want to document the whole list of doctors; I have gone to with fertility related troubles. It is more of my desire to remember the misses, before I found my current one. I am most likely to be shaky in the details and might jumble up a bit as well. But I will keep on editing or modifying this if, as and when needed. 2003 The one doctor, who has been my stable rock, is my mother ( Dr. V ) who is into Obstetrics and Gynaecology. With her reference, I went to meet Dr. AB in 2003 regarding some advice about which contraceptive to use. 2004 For almost the entire 2004, I was quiet on the IF front because I was using BCPs and had zero inkling of what lay ahead. October-November 2004, was my first go at having a baby. I would still rate my efforts at having a baby as passive. I took advice from V as to how...

Went through the latest Barren Advice column on SQ recently. The lady’s issue was the jealousy she experienced when she heard of a fellow infertile finally striking lucky. Mel’s advice was great, and I am not about to counter it….but I absorbed the question and inspected it from my own angle. Recently, two fellow IF bloggers revealed their positive HPTs. My first spontaneous reaction was jubilation . I was really happy for them, and I do frown on every worry that they reveal. So have I become the high-morals, priestess of good virtues in the IF land? No way! One of my later responses to their posts on their new status, is the constant urge to have the opportunity of posting the same kind of subject as they do. Is that a mark of jealousy? I would have to again deny that. But it kinds of raises the aspiration level I have from myself. I have had moments I am not too proud of. At a point of time in 2007, in-laws were visiting us. They had first visited my BIL (in a different city), and ...