My Lady of the Lantern

I dedicated today to Farmville and playing catch-up with blogs. I had another do-on-PC thing lined up but from the look of it, I am not going to do it at all today. I have these moments where I count and recount my days and specifically think of what I felt before and now, and how drastically different I feel. I spent a long time imagining being pregnant, and now that I actually am, I think I could not have anticipated the emotional and mental shift really. Milestones, they are all there - concrete and dated. The constant sacred knowledge of carrying another life inside? It is dizzying and powerful. But more than that, it is transforming and humbling. I feel amazing. I have instances of being scaredy cat, and other times I am too elated, but still to know that I will be holding my child in my arms soon is so comforting. And now, I am on two boats...one that wants to stop the ticking away of the clock, and the other one where I want to hasten week 21 to week 35 in a minute... One thing ...

Went through the latest Barren Advice column on SQ recently. The lady’s issue was the jealousy she experienced when she heard of a fellow infertile finally striking lucky. Mel’s advice was great, and I am not about to counter it….but I absorbed the question and inspected it from my own angle. Recently, two fellow IF bloggers revealed their positive HPTs. My first spontaneous reaction was jubilation . I was really happy for them, and I do frown on every worry that they reveal. So have I become the high-morals, priestess of good virtues in the IF land? No way! One of my later responses to their posts on their new status, is the constant urge to have the opportunity of posting the same kind of subject as they do. Is that a mark of jealousy? I would have to again deny that. But it kinds of raises the aspiration level I have from myself. I have had moments I am not too proud of. At a point of time in 2007, in-laws were visiting us. They had first visited my BIL (in a different city), and ...