My Lady of the Lantern

A girl I knew in school sent in a friend request to me on FB. I would have referred to her as a friend if I had been writing on my blog when I was 18, which I am not. We moved within the same group in school. We parted ways in college and we did meet each other in a common friend's engagement. She was married by then, and awkwardly enough gave me the 'I did not see you' treatment in the party. She just ignored me and I did not bother to go speak to her. That was years ago. News/Gossip in tiny bits kept trickling in through the years to me about what she was upto. And she was one of the few women I quoted as example to God to please give me a fertility break once and for all. When I was (which I was till very recently) wondering about my malfunctioning apparatus, she was one of the people that I would think about how they could take it so easy and get away. She was one of my cases as example that I pleaded with, when I negotiated with God. It was not so much as a negotiatio...

A tingling sensation coursed my veins when I typed the title of the post...how does it feel to actually say it, to type it, to think it, to be it? Anyways, I have my list of good blood tests coming up. I have taken half day leave for Friday, and a full day off for Saturday, and I will do the needful then. I would be ready with the reports when I get to my next appointment with Dr. BS. I had some heavy invigilation duty imminent on Sunday, and the only way I could duck it would be the Saturday off. I want to duck it. I have done my share of those in the past, and would not want to indulge in it right now. I can probably get excused by revealing, but I don't want to reveal yet. And oh, a colleagueriend(colleague+friend) knows. I told her. I would not feel very bottled up now, and she is 'leak-safe'. My life would turn a page every Tuesday, and I hope hope hope to be all good to read through each of it. -- Birdman came home today morning. I had put in two paper slips, one over...

Okay, the nice news first! The great news is that my thyroid friend's pregnancy is on course! The baby is fine. She would be due in early December. *** While that thyroid friend finishes adding to her family (they won't be planning any more kids after this), I feel like I am still staring from the start line. She got married after me. She had her first before me. She will have her second before me. *** Our conversations will centre around among other things, her pregnancy updates and all. She has never actively asked about what I have been upto, on the kids front. I feel like a monkey with a hundred caps. I can throw around a cap only if I see somebody else doing it, or I would just throw all my caps on a whim. *** Well, for one thing, I did not share the news of my IVF or any of the IUIs with anybody including the thyroid friend. Because I know that I may never talk about it without crying, or I am still reserved about it. I can talk on issues of interest, just not my super-fa...

Do you remember this thyroid friend of mine? Sunday evening she called me to let me know that she is 7 weeks pregnant!!! What I find very humbling is that I know the news even though it has not been revealed yet to her parents and in-laws. Her betas are not doubling like they should ( as per her doctor ), and she has been asked to come back on Wednesday ( which is tomorrow ), for an ultrasound. All the very best to her!!! ******************************** I finally nagged enough to get DH to his breaking point. I did a repeat of 'What if we do not have kids? ' sooner than my usual frequency , and sent him in an emotional spiral. He begged to be never asked that question again. Ever. I do not understand ever. ******************************** Has your IF research/doctor spoken of Oxidative Stress/ Gamete Optimization? What has he/she/article led you to think? Embryo fragmentation occurs dues to oxidative stress (???). ^WiseGuy^

First of all, let me tell you that I am feeling nice today - because I feel free! Today is the first day, I am without any sanitary protection after a span of 13 days....Initially, it was precautionary...and then for the actual deed. I am glad its over. For now, atleast. Secondly, today morning, I was ruminating on a particular classmate [and groupmate] X whom I had in school. I was a part of a group of about 8 girls. I was tight knit with another girl, but we 8 hung out together. X got married almost right out of school - she must have been just 18/19 then....obviously she started TTC before the whole lot of us even thought of getting married. And she had a hard time....she changed doctors, she changed cities...finally about 8 years into the struggle she had a baby. I have not been in touch with her at all.....but I kept getting random bits about her through common friends. Once upon a time, I got told about what next she was about to do.... Would I myself have not become the gossip...

Since this has been swimming in and out of my conscious thoughts...I will post it. One of my friends (read that word carefully....because I do not use it interchangeably with schoolmate/colleague/peer) and possibly one of the closest one (Again, I have different kind of 'closes') phoned me on Tuesday afternoon. I took it as a usual what's-up-with-you call, but it turned out to be different. After the first Hello, the statement shot at me was "What is PCOS?". So, now I was acting as a quick check encyclopaedia for anything to do with duh balls, situated close to the hose pipes into the cistern . Well, I tried to explain to her and asked what warranted the question. This friend has had thyroid problems for long (now totally under control), and is the mother of a 16 month old guy. She had no hitches conceiving her first. Anyhoo, she had some AF trouble since Nov 2008 and so she finally went for some consultation that has led to this diagnosis. My friend is now ...