My Lady of the Lantern

Here’s the picture…you tell me…. What might dis be ? . . . . . . . . Oh, come on…you just need to see it more carefully…come a bit closer to the screen.. . . . . . No, not this close! Relax! Here’s another one. Tell me, what might dis be ? . . . . . . Stop making faces….you should have guessed it already…disco lights, flower power curtains? . . . . I am really asking you to tell me, what might dis be ? . . . . . . You got it? Did you really? Wow! Coz, if you still did not, alas, I will again ask, what might dis be ? . . . . . . . Those were gifted to me in October 2008. The package reached me during the IVF cycle….it was sent to G with DH, unopened, while I stayed back in City I . I opened the box, along with my birthday gifts somewhere in March 2009. That’s right; had I not been blogging or documenting anything….December to March 2009 would have been one big black hole. The first time I tried them on was March 22, 2009 and the pictures are from then. All my birthday gifts too had sta...

I have been visiting/hitting/increasing the traffic stats of online 'Beta-calculators' lately...I read and I read, and I watch and I watch, and I input funny numbers and see the outcomes.... My weird sense of entertainment, I tell you! ^WiseGuy^

Did it again.... Iron Commenter for May 09 ...yes that's me! I think I am loving it...totally! Here's the deal on the whole lot of commenting I did.... ICLW Day 1 Trophydom: 1 - 31 [-8, my blog] ICLW Day 2 Trophydom: 1 - 49 [-8, my blog] ICLW Day 3 Trophydom: 1 - 62 [-8, my blog] ICLW Day 4 Trophydom: 1 - 84 [-8, my blog] ICLW Day 5 Trophydom: 1 - 114 [-8, my blog] ICLW Day 6 Trophydom: 1 - 130 [-8, my blog] The last day I got stuck on #116 , and Danielle helped me in overcoming that. Thank You Dove! I finished the entire list two days before the ICLW week got over! Unlike last time, I did a chronological sweep this time! Loved it! ^WiseGuy^ Image Courtesy: http://www.thedctraveler.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/cherry-and-blossoms.jpg

Situation: Female co-workers chattering after a lunch together. (5, young, married) General topic: Family; Kid’s capers; Guests Sudden Turn: Who would it be this year? [ There’s a mini-joke regarding our institute and it is labeled as PPX. Means it is not X, it is Permanently Pregnant X. Every year, we have atleast one female faculty taking maternity leave and that has led to the title. ] Co-worker A: Who would it be this year? Co-Worker B: Aww, it has to be D! D: Hee Hee Hee! I was a part of the group. My name was not included, intentionally/unintentionally on the most likely to reproduce this year. I did not make ‘the cut’ into their list. What would have pinched you more? Inclusion on the list – and hence the hurt of how tough it is actually to live to the expectations or Exclusion – when one is no longer considered capable of progeny? ^WiseGuy^

Well Rebecca tagged me. And that gave me a new way of utilizing the office resources – namely their time, their PC and their bandwidth sufficiently! To do list (i.e. “the rules”): 1. Mention the person who tagged me. 2. Complete the list of 8’s. 3. Tag 8 bloggers & tell them I tagged them. Eight things I am looking forward to: 1. Completing my PhD eventually. 2. Having a better body image 3. Perhaps having a home that allows me to grow a few plants of my liking 4. Being a mother 5. Dying with a happy heart 6. Chocolates – There is no end to this addiction 7. Travelling and tasting all kinds of food. 8. Being able to keep my head in the sky and my feet on the ground. Eight things I did yesterday: 1. I woke up 2. Observed the Indian Laburnum and Greenery all the way to the office 3. Checked my e-mail, and twittered about ICLW progress 4. Got some answer sheets issued and visited the Library 5. Got drowsy in the meeting that was held after lunch. Was glad when it was over. 6. Complet...

I like the title of the post. You don’t have to tell me because I am in love with my originality…truly madly deeply and no, the adjectives have got nothing to do with Savage Garden either. The basis of this particular post lies in one of my March posts ...nopes, I had not forgotten the comments or swept them away, they contributed to what I have come with today. To recap, I spoke of the bloated feeling I was still experiencing and the desire to lose some weight. I am still adamant on one aspect, and that is that my weight cannot be held responsible for my fertility, or its lack thereof…because there are so many other things that the docs will have to justify to me then. And as far as BMI indicators go, I am not obese, I am overweight...and that is nothing unusual. But I think that becoming fitter will boost my self-confidence and control my oestrogen levels…I had several options in mind… A. Walking/Jogging B. Joining a Gym for Exercises C. Joining this one personal care and health cent...

This is not likely to be a classic post on Infertility in Media: A Story on Stereotypes . No Sir, since my shallow self is out right now...I better not look for clay in the quicksand that my mind has become.. Day before yesterday, somewhere in the evening, I froze on to a TV Show (a four-times a week soap), which I catch very rarely. Anyways, guess what the lovely story was... Woman preggers by elder bro (her then spouse)...hubby dies and baby dies in an accident...woman now married to younger bro and is preggers again... Husband alive but the baby dies inside the uterus....Next, the drama peaks when the doctors reveal that this woman has lost the ability to conceive/carry to term any pregnancy (becoming pregnant could be fatal for the mother).. Oh hell! No more progeny...the family will die with its current people and nobody will carry the family name forward...hell...doom... death! Guess what the obedient now-p-nownot-p woman does... she hires a woman to tempt her husband like a nymp...

To peak a whole year of Show and Tells, Mel asked the class to bring its favourite Show and Tell for this particular one. Out of the 29 Show and Tells, that I have done, I want to bring to class this particular Show and Tell: Show and Tell: A Book to Remember posted on November 02, 2008 ! I was torn between two Show and Tells, and I chose this one because it belongs to an era when I had little audience. Hence, this Show and Tell received less attention than the other one. To check what everybody else brought check out Mel's blog ! But to the circle meet for this Show and Tell, today I have got something which is something I have never talked of - Books! Ya I know I know...I do a lot of books...so stop being so agitated at me! You see, my mother sent me two books, saying that it would be more useful for me to have them. The books talk of s€x... But the importance of those books lies in completely different directions... Those books were gifted to my mother by her eldest sister som...

First of all, let me tell you that I am feeling nice today - because I feel free! Today is the first day, I am without any sanitary protection after a span of 13 days....Initially, it was precautionary...and then for the actual deed. I am glad its over. For now, atleast. Secondly, today morning, I was ruminating on a particular classmate [and groupmate] X whom I had in school. I was a part of a group of about 8 girls. I was tight knit with another girl, but we 8 hung out together. X got married almost right out of school - she must have been just 18/19 then....obviously she started TTC before the whole lot of us even thought of getting married. And she had a hard time....she changed doctors, she changed cities...finally about 8 years into the struggle she had a baby. I have not been in touch with her at all.....but I kept getting random bits about her through common friends. Once upon a time, I got told about what next she was about to do.... Would I myself have not become the gossip...

Let me begin this Show and Tell, with a fantastic thing. I got a pendant made by Barbara@Burble through her online shop – Tiny Moments of Pure Joy . The pendant reads 3VERHOPE on one side and 2.12.08 on the other. The word was EVERHOPE and I converted the first alphabet to the number of the embies transferred into their eager home. V is for ‘we’. VER for November (November is the only month that has a V in it). This pendant is perfect for me. I wanted something tangible to remember them with. And it’s turned out precious. Surf over to her shop, because as she says best about her jewellery - Nothing is perfect! The letters won't be lined up with any precision instruments other than my own eyes and hands! But they will be made with love. Also, currently the Indian Laburnum ( Amaltas ) is in bloom and it is hard to miss their glory these days. For your viewing pleasure, here is a selection of these blooms (they are one of my mom’s favourites). Important homework details here ! ^WiseG...

I was expected to attend a friend's wedding tomorrow in City I . I had thought of taking an appointment with my doc for May 18th. Since I am not going to attend the wedding, the appointment is also delayed. Have to either squeeze it in remaining May or then go on in July, coz the doc would not be available in June. Is there a difference in the protocol lengths for IVF/ICSI? That is, if the first one has run for almost two months, will all the subsequent ones be of the same time slab as the initial? ^WiseGuy^

Thank You Everybody for the good wishes! I am back - safe and comfortable and relaxed! Only that I do not want to do anything that sounds like work! Miss AF came on 12th, while I was fighting the Pirates of Sentosa! And I managed to have fun despite the spray! I am okay...and would post more later! Thanks everyone! ^WiseGuy^

Gone. ^WiseGuy^ Image Courtesy: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/118/287455289_208f3ee3fd.jpg

There was once a man who lived life through his simple means. His prize possession was his horse – a strong, dark steed that he loved like a son. Once a nobleman passed the area and saw the steed. He offered the man any sum in exchange for the steed, to which the man did not acquiesce. The nobleman upped the price, cajoled and persuaded but the man refused to give up. Now, this man used to travel every week to the nearby town on his horse for supplies. On one such occasion, he was travelling through the woods when he came upon a beggar – haggard looking and apparently exhausted. Upon enquiry, the beggar told that he had been walking towards the town and was too tired to continue. The man immediately offered to help the beggar and asked him to mount the horse. The beggar mounted the horse and started laughing… it was the nobleman in disguise! The nobleman taunted that he could have offered any price for the horse and now thanks to the man’s foolishness, he would take away the horse for...

No, AF is not here today.... I was parking my vehicle today when a crazy idea came to me - if I have my AF now, I will be dripping blood over three countries within seven days. How holybleep is that??? Yeah, if you felt like puking after you read this, it is just the progesterone in you...and if ye be a guy your amygdala is in knots, boy! Leave me with my weird line of thinking... ^WiseGuy^

.....You want to do another IVF/ICSI in August? [[ Tada!! Bingo Boy! ]] Oh come on, why are you starting it again? [[ Duh, because I happen to want kids, you know. ]] Last year was so pathetic. We are already doing so much. [[ I know...2008 is a huge blip on my Good Luck radar. ]] Nobody has any idea what they want us to do. Doctors have no idea. We were asked to please the Gods. There will be some or the other excuse again. [[ Da. But I can't stop trying. I am as obsessed as Octomom herself. ]] Oh come on, do we have money remaining for that? [[ Valid point dude! Especially since we have no insurance, and no insurance is provided for fertility treatments ]] Why not take the entire 2009 off? [[ If my mathematics is any correct, I will be an year older this year than the previous ]] We already did the blam blam religious thing to please the Gods.[[ Yes I know....I am already doing what I feel like from the core of my heart. ]] You don't even clean up the God space regularly. [[...

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more erratic and more moody. Rough winds do shake the darling hopes of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a month. Sometime too hot the eye of cycle shines, And often is her red complexion dimm'd; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By pregnancy or nature's changing course untrimm'd; But thy pre-menopausal summer shall not fade Nor lose possession of that angst thou ow'st; Nor shall Menopause brag thou wander'st in its shade, When in eternal lines to fertility thou grow'st: So long as women can breathe or I can pee, So long lives this, and this gives funny-looks to thee. The sonnet was written by Yours Truly in honour of impending AF arrival tomorrow. It is a rip-off from ShakingWithFeare. ^WiseGuy^

Those of you, who have recently received e-mails from me, must have noticed these lines as my signature: dil mein jo ho wohi to bas kahte hai, warna har haal mein hum chup rehte hain jinke andar sheher baste hain, jinke andar diye jalte hain, unko kya ki kahaan rehte hain, samne samunder hota hai, jinko maujon ka dar hota hai, saahilon par khade rehte hain” dil mein jo ho wohi to bas kahte hai, warna har haal mein hum chup rehte hain The singer of those lines was Junaid Jamshed [Dil Main Jo, Us Rah Par (1999)]. He was the front man of a Pakistani Pop group called Vital Signs...and he had a stunning voice. His voice touched the heart and roused very romantic or tragic notes in the listener, depending on the what the song was. Let me do a very loose translation (and not a very competent one) of what the song means: We sing only what is in our hearts, otherwise we remain silent forever Those who have an inhabited heart, those who are able to shine on their own, Have no worry abo...

I plan on buying HPTs on my way back home today....not that I expect being pregnant right now...but I am really taunting the Missy to come crashing... I am not expecting AF today...rather, it is in a day or two that she would be banging my doors, which is the right time to buy HPTs. On other days, I am scared of purchasing pee-sticks for the fear of tempting the fates....but at the footsteps of AF or during AF is a safe enough time...right? ^WiseGuy^ Image Courtesy: http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/funny-pictures-you-must-answer-riddles-to-pee.jpg

Recently I was in a conversation with this small girl (7-8 years old) and the small talk included asking about who her friends in school were. She goes to a nice school - nice as in expensive and difficult to get into. Me: So who are your friends in school? Kiddo: A, B and C. Do you know what A, B and Cs parents do? Me: No. Kiddo: A's father has PPP hotel, and if I go to her house in the afternoon, I can eat food delivered from PPP. Isn't that great? Me: Yes! And what about others.... Kiddo: B's father has a mobile phone gallery...and you know, C's father is blah blah blah. Me: Oh wow! It must be nice. Kiddo: Yeah, B totally gives me models (sample pieces) of the latest handsets, you know! Me: Great! But what strikes me in the conversation is that this girl is aware of not just who her friends are, but also of the relative wealth of the friends.... Make no mistake, this girl is very sweet..but she seems to be having money seeping into her conversations more often than ...