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Inclusion Exclusion


Situation: Female co-workers chattering after a lunch together. (5, young, married)

General topic: Family; Kid’s capers; Guests

Sudden Turn: Who would it be this year?

[There’s a mini-joke regarding our institute and it is labeled as PPX. Means it is not X, it is Permanently Pregnant X. Every year, we have atleast one female faculty taking maternity leave and that has led to the title.]

Co-worker A: Who would it be this year?

Co-Worker B: Aww, it has to be D!

D: Hee Hee Hee!

I was a part of the group. My name was not included, intentionally/unintentionally on the most likely to reproduce this year. I did not make ‘the cut’ into their list.

What would have pinched you more? Inclusion on the list – and hence the hurt of how tough it is actually to live to the expectations or Exclusion – when one is no longer considered capable of progeny?



^WiseGuy^

Comments

  1. Exclusion would hurt me WAY more!!! Inclusion would at least mean that others thought there was hope for me, but to just write you off like that, must have stung like hell!!!!! Success is the greatest revenge ;-) - remember that!!!

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  2. I feel your pain. The exclusion would have hurt me too.
    I think for me though, people who don't know my situation have come to their own conclusions that I am a "career" person.

    I just let them think that.

    It hurts to be excluded from these little clubs hey?

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  3. How thoughtless of them. You're on my list of hopefuls!

    xxx

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  4. Good question. I'd like to say that I would totally want to be on that list. Even though we are think about reality, we are still hopeful that it will be us!

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  5. Oy, that hurts. I don't know which option is worse.

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  6. Unfortunately, both options are painful. I think for me, I would prefer not to be on the list, because I don't like the thought of my coworkers staring at my fat belly and wondering and asking if I am pregnant. My work is really bad with things like that. I'd rather have them assume that I'm not than ask if I am, I guess.

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  7. i think being excluded hurts worse. it was insensitive either way.

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  8. Wow! I'm not sure - it seems painful either way. Coworkers are usually the most insensitive when it comes to IF.

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  9. Both suck, but I think I would hate being chosen slightly more than not even making the cut. Part of me is looking forward to ten years from now, when NO ONE will be looking at me wondering ANYTHING. If we have kids by then great, but at least it will be OVER.

    Hopefully we will be one of those neat, affluent couples(and why not as we won't be pissing our money away on IF)that travel and have Don't Touch houses with white wall to wall carpets.

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  10. ((HUGS))

    Exclusion, would bother me more.

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  11. I agree with the other posters who say exclusion hurts more. Don't worry... you're on all of our lists!

    GL!

    p.s. thanks for stopping by my blog!

    *ICLW**

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  12. ouch! painful either way but I think I'd prefer to be not on the list.

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  13. You know, I don't know which I would prefer.... probably being ON the list, because then I can respectfully decline....not be excluded.

    Then I'd proceed to blow raspberries at them!

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  14. I think they both pinch.

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  15. I think I would have had a not to positive reaction to either in all honesty. Sorry.

    Thanks for stopping by.

    ICLW

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  16. Both are painful. Exclusion is probably worse, but either way this is not a conversation that should be happening.

    ICLW

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  17. Ouch...either way it would seriously suck. {{{Hugs}}}

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  18. Good question. You know what, both scenerios are shit. Sorry hun.

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  19. I think they both suck. Exclusion for obvious reasons but the inclusion as well because I always hated people talking about my reproduction openly in front of me. Like it was so easy and I had control of it.

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