My Lady of the Lantern

Today, I woke up with a heavy head, and a light headache despite a full night's sleep.  Headaches were not my thing, but I am learning new things every day.  F has a sensitive tummy to three food items - gram flour (chickpea flour), watermelon and pomegranate. That has always been the case.  All these things are available in our house, and commonly elsewhere, but I have always ensured that F does not eat it.  Even with the chickpea, she is more sensitive to some preparations than others. Long story short, she ate a gram flour do-not-give-ever thing on Saturday morning, and then, that same night we dined out, and her plumbing went into overdrive. She had diarrhoea and stomach ache yesterday. Today, I sent her straight to daycare and did not send her to school. Here was a girl who was asking me to " mumma, make my tummy alright ", and I couldn't make the discomfort disappear. I felt awful that I could not do anything that would bring instantan...

Because of the trail of 'small things' that just kept on happening to me - weird rashes and allergy; an acting up of the hemorrhoid I got in this past pregnancy, and infection caught from using a public loo, I have not been feeling my 100 percent lately.  One of the things that came out of this was that I had to get my blood sugar checked for diabeeetus. I was anxious waiting for the report to turn in, and given that there is diabbbbeeetus on both sides of my family, I was worried. Thankfully, I do not have diabbeeeetus.  - - -  I have been cleaning and disposing stuff from the house. I am glad for the freeing of space, and for the fact that some things are being used with much enthusiasm elsewhere (I 'abandoned' one lot of F's clothes in a slum close to her daycare, and immediately a group of young girls descended on the bag; later, I saw that girls for whom the clothes were too tight were also trying to get into the dresses).  - - - My per...

I dislike being photographed. It isn't something that comes to me unconsciously.  I do not consider myself photogenic, and I tend to stand in for the snaps on deliberate design rather than for the joy of it. The camera does not love me.  And as has been the case recently, I have awful dark circles. I have had them for years now. They keep getting lighter or staying depending on the amount of rest I am getting, but they never disappear.  I hate my dark circles.  However, my dislike for being photographed has begun to show in other ways. There is a 15 to 200 ratio of the number of pics where I am there with any/all of my children versus the presence of someone else with the kids. There just are not as many pics of me with them.  - - -  I have had a series of health issues recently. Starting from that weird allergy/rash, to periods that were a week early, to general stress and gloom, to an infection of some other area, there appears to...

I miss my son. I miss his heart-melting smile.  - - - I am more settled at the office now. I am still resisting, and not feeling 100 percent, but here I am.  - - - A live-in nanny is supposed to join us from tomorrow onwards (on a trial basis initially). I hope she fits the bill, and solves the issue I have with DH's long and erratic and workaholic ways.  - - - Figlia starts school from the coming Monday.  - - - I am aghast at what happened with the recent Germanwings crash, and what is happening in Syria, and Libya and other boiling pots in the world. I am not able to comprehend how twisted a man's psyche can be, or how it can spread like a contagious disease. For that matter, it appalls me to watch such twisted notions being held up and enforced without guilt and much conviction by a huge mass of people.