My Lady of the Lantern

As I indicated in Part III , AF has come back. I am completely fed up with the bleeding. Methergine failed. Injection Botropase failed. I started Duphaston and Primolut N and the effect was transient and the flow was back again. Finally, I got the Trenaxa and that reined in the bleeding. I was so relieved when the continuous flow got controlled. However, since last night the bleeding is back again. I took another Trenaxa (which is used only when needed) and I am hoping that the Primolut N will eventually do the trick for me. Someday when I am completely over all this, I want to remain medication-free for atleast a while. (Just as a normal heads-up, please check if my replies are landing in your Spam folder. Just came to know that it did for some of you, so just see if it has not happened to any more.)

Yes, they call it Lochia. That's a word I did not know till very recently. I am dealing with the joyful bleeding and am dealing with it well, except that it has taken its finicky terms from the rest of my temperament. From what I read and I came to know...the bleeding dims down to light pink and then yellowish in its tapering which it did. Then around 12th February, it halted pretty well. Since 16th Feb, Ms. Bright Red has made a comeback...It has some weird office routine, coz the bleeding dies in the evening and is not there in the night, and it regains its duty from morning 0700 hours again. I wonder if Aafra Fafra has made an early return or it is still Lochia taking its sweet time.

I kept on wondering if I should post it or not...but then I decided that since this space is meant to document , well, I should write it down and all. I am pretty close to ending this cycle. I am normally a 33-day cycle girl, and for the past few cycles, my AF has arrived around CD31. I still don't feel like it is on its way. So this one cycle could be correcting back the pre-pone gene in all the three cycles that have whizzed past. On the other hand, my nipples are sensitive to touch and I had mild cramping a few days back. Atleast one part of this cycle is like the January one....but the difference is that I had taken Clomid then and was on progesterone in the latter half of the cycle. This cycle, I have neither been on Clomid nor have I taken any progesterone pills. Please hope for me, but don't leave me words that you believe I am pregnant or so. I can have all the symptoms and not one thing that comes out of it. There is now just one unopened strip of HPT remaining in my r...

…continued from previous post… I was never a thin kid. I must have been, but those days are no longer in my memory. I preferred Library to Games period by a slightly higher margin, and could play Ludo endlessly. I loved video games and daydreaming. I have never considered myself a sick child per se. My infancy though does chronicle bouts of bronchitis, but that was that…I have never fractured a single bone till now. I have been knocked up by diseases, but I have always recuperated well. I hated injections, I hated tablets and capsules. I was okay with syrups, but they too went in with a lot of effort. My periods were very regular. We had been shown a video about menstrual cycle in school by a FMCG major, who had descended upon us-about-to-hit-puberty (to possibly develop a brand preference) . So when my periods arrived, I was not crying about how I was going to die. I just showed what was happening to my mother. They would arrive like clockwork….for a long long long set of years. Then...

Ah...caught you there... What? Oh, so you would have come here anyways? See, I am here hoping to replace the Small with Big soon enough. But as of today, it just happens to be ... CD1. ^WiseGuy^

Agendy Fugnimima arrived yesterday around 2230 hours. It was pegged for April 7. There were no warning aches, and we had just returned home from a dinner outside (preceded by a three hour work shift thing). I am so thankful for that, God. My chance of a 2010 baby = blown to smithereens. Hello April. ^WiseGuy^

#* AF arrived two days early on March 5 (Friday). It was in the afternoon. I was at work and managed to get into a full-blown showdown with a colleague. #* That would peg today as CD6. That's just trivia. #* As has been the case in the past two cycles, I stop consuming aspirin a couple of days prior to the AF. That has helped me in the sense that the bleeding is not as strong as it was tending to become. #* Sometime in January, I tottered off-Gynova. DH tottered off-Spermon. Hurray! * not * #* The words I am really googling right now are: PGD, antioxidants, pranayam and sperm quality. #* I tend to have random bouts of crying. I will attribute that more to the (work-related) stress I had been under lately than anything else. The quest continues. Edited to Add : As severe as the last bullet may sound, I am NOT crying in front of every other stranger or so. Nor do I have whistling spells in front of friends/family/colleagues. It happened twice over the past four days, all brought...

It's over. Agnedy Fugnimima made a two-day early trip to my uterus. I am in pain - physical as well as emotional. Why does this script have to read so horrible ? Why? Why do I have to end up looking like an idiot all the time? I have Meftal-Spas sitting on my table, ready to be consumed once I have forced down some biscuits, but I so wish I did not need it, but my lower regions seem to be churning. I could have done without this. When I was out of my bath and I was confirmed that AF had arrived, I was so so so sad. I came out crying the tears that I wished I had been crying out for different reasons. I had another 'feeling' today morning, and I am not going to jot it down because God may be reading my blog. Damn. ^WiseGuy^

Yes, AF arrived. Right on the date I had adjudged it would. I had stopped on my ASA from December 29, 2009 just hoping to have more controlled bleeding this time. I will write about how that goes. This cycle plan states Clomid (Siphene 100 mg) from CD2-CD6 which is January 3 - January 7, 2010. Also I will start Duphaston (Progesterone, 10 mg) from CD14 for 14 days. Hopefully, I will make eggs. Hopefully the follicles will rupture. Hopefully, I will conceive this time around. Jumping hoops of hope right now. ^WiseGuy^

Nopes, Agnedy Fugnimima is nowhere to be seen. She was expected y'day morning. When I woke up, I was not 'feeling' as if she was about to show up. This month my CM mutation happened around CD22/23, a little later than CD16/17, so I am assuming that I ovulated late and so Miss AF would rather be showing up around the 2nd of Jan? That is my guess. My guess is as good as mine, and as bad as mine. *smirk* Just be here, okay? ^WiseGuy^

My guest of honour who was expected to reach me on 29th preponed the visit by three days. Even though I tend to Woohoo Whistle Welcome an earlier than usual arrival, this one arrival has left me calculating and reviewing my cycle plan. DH is going to be out of town from December 6th - 12th. Counting by my cycle days, he shall be out from CD11 to CD17, which is significant chunk of my harvest time. Given my plan to commence Clomid for 5 days from CD2, I now wonder whether it is worth it to do Clomid at all. Or that I should start it by let's say, CD4? Or I should just add December to another non-medicated TTC cycle? Questions. Questions. Questions. Thanks God. ^WiseGuy^

...Yet! I POASed today morning and it was a single-liner. Off to AF-baiting on the weekend. ^WiseGuy^

* I am relieved to not be packing AF protection gear in my bags this time. One less thing to worry about indeed. * Thanks to reading it here and there, I have become very sensitive to my own EWCM pattern, and even though I do not have any ovulation pain, the gush of EWCM tells me what my body is upto. Atleast for the last cycle, I was aware. And this cycle too, I could distinctly make it out. The report card for this month is yet to be published though. * Metformin? I started waddling in the medicine slush beginning August 2009. Immediate to me starting Metformin, I spoke of how my loo trips had increased . Well, even though that part is subsided, there is one persistent thing that still is staying with me, and that is the bowel department has got a little screwed up – not good or bad screwed up, but adequately anomalous to the routine. I am not writing any more on this as it is very embarrassing, but it was important for me to document this as a side effect. * Another thing is that...

AF is here! Today morning, around 0840, I had a small smile externally and a big relief internally when I saw the spotting. It is three days early, and I believe that early is always better than late. I am also happy because the scheduled day of its commencement was also the bang-on day of Wedding 1 . I will still be 'down' when I attend the wedding, but with a lot less bleeding and infrequent ugh-I-must-go-check moments. I stopped for a second when I was about to swallow my ASA today ( not taken in periods coz it increases the bleeding ), and the logic I had was that, if maximum of the flow happens before I leave for City I, it would be even better. But guess what? Neither has my flow increased, nor am I having major discomfort yet. It is obvious that I now will have my next ASA only when AF goes away. Thank You God. Even though I crib against you a lot, there are times I really appreciate you, and this is one such occasion. ^WiseGuy^

AF arrived yesterday evening. Bloggers, Aaafra Faafra is visiting me. Tweetypies, Agnedy Fugnimima has come! Am glad that she did not act up on me this cycle. I would have wanted an alternate scenario, for it to not have arrived at all. But, not being pregnant and not having the periods is horrible. The other thing is that unlike the medicated cycle in September, I won’t be doing Clomid in October and November. I had to decide on this fast because AF was here, and the cycle day count had been reset. I think doing round after round of ovulation inducing medication had contributed to the cyst (now disappeared, thankfully) and I do not want to make the same mistake again. I want to be more precise in terms of when I want to use these medicines. If I had an iota of hope that I would be able to manage timed s#x these two months, I would have given Clomid a shot, but I know that it won’t be possible. We would be travelling, or spending time with his family, or attending the two major w...

Warning: This IS a TMI post. For those of you who have been tracking my blog, you must be aware that most of August, and a large part of July was spent on me obsessing about my AF. Well, at whatever date the AF was expected, I started with a practice which is usual for me, and that was to wear protection in case, AF comes all of a sudden. Well, waiting became way longer than expected, and even though I spared my vayjayjay any friction after coming home (from the office), I finally had an all-timer session the last 8-9 days of August. Why am I telling you all this? Coz I developed something like an allergy...deep red colouring, inflammation and pain...and it is not a very pleasant sensation. If I lose this cycle because of some infection, well I might as well have saved up the Clomid. Why do I have to have these W-T-royal-F situations? ^WiseGuy^

Affycat, Affycat, where have you been? Had you been to London to visit the Queen? Affycat, Affycat, what did you do there? Did you get Brown to speak to Blair? CD2 today. You may kiss my hand . ^WiseGuy^

CD68. Need I say more? Of course! My uterus is developing a personality and determination of its own. This is not the first anovulatory cycle that I have had, but I am submitting this cycle to the Herself Book of World Records . My last dose of Duphaston (Progesterone) and Pregnistar was done away with on the night of August 15th. Yet, my uterus refuses to budge. I am sitting ducky for 2 more days, and then quacking will begin. Loudly. Edited to add: All the P got sucked into my b@@bs, I suppose. My nipples are really sore. ^WiseGuy^

A little secret on the go? Am on CD60 today. I have four (out of ten) days of Duphaston in my system, and my boobs are loving it. Now I hope that AF will come only after I am through with the weekend trip. My last dose will be on Sunday, and maybe within 48 hours of that, my AF will arrive. Any prior arrival will get labelled very uncomfortable. And even though I pray that AF be gentle on me, I am distinctly aware of the need to shed all the built-up weed. Hmmm... ^WiseGuy^

Anxiety. Today is CD56. Like I told some of you in e-mails, I am actually planning to see a doc tonight. And please throw in an ultrasound too. That's right. An inquisitive wand will tell my sorry tale to the doc. I do not know what to expect. I have never ever been this late. Ever . You can't imagine the range of possibilities that have crossed my mind. Once the idea of meeting the doc (in case AF did not cruise in) got more and more fixated in my brain, much of last night and today's workday was spent running around the theme-bush. Almost three times today, I felt that my periods were at that very point 'arrived'. I just want to meet the doc and get it over with. Or not get it over with. ^WiseGuy^