…continued from previous post…
I was never a thin kid. I must have been, but those days are no longer in my memory. I preferred Library to Games period by a slightly higher margin, and could play Ludo endlessly. I loved video games and daydreaming.
I have never considered myself a sick child per se. My infancy though does chronicle bouts of bronchitis, but that was that…I have never fractured a single bone till now. I have been knocked up by diseases, but I have always recuperated well.
I hated injections, I hated tablets and capsules. I was okay with syrups, but they too went in with a lot of effort.
My periods were very regular. We had been shown a video about menstrual cycle in school by a FMCG major, who had descended upon us-about-to-hit-puberty (to possibly develop a brand preference) . So when my periods arrived, I was not crying about how I was going to die. I just showed what was happening to my mother.
They would arrive like clockwork….for a long long long set of years. Then I went on BCP. I was trying to prevent being knocked up. I was all about being scientific.
The social setting that I am in, there is a section of people who still frown upon the safety of the pills. I was sure I was doing the right thing, and on I went.
I did abuse pills in a way. If I was not wanting the periods to arrive (which was such a release really), I would not stop after 21 days, and would go on the next strip.
Then, it dawned that I was ready perhaps. I chucked out the BCPs. I even replaced that with Folic Acid. God knows, the number of times Folic Acid has come in and gone out of my diet since then.
I did not get pregnant.
^WiseGuy^
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You could not have known about the future, as no one can. You did what was best for you at the time, as per the info available at the time (the pill I mean). And even today, I guess you would do the same, if you were in the same position at the same age back then.
ReplyDeleteThe future is unchartered waters. Which can be good or not. I just hope that after this whirls in your present, your waters will prove to be in the end nice, warm and emerald (blue is nice for water, but not in this case ;-)).
Do you ever wonder if waiting is what did you in? Or how much money you spent on preventing a pregnancy you wouldn't have? Ugh. I know the feeling. I'm sorry hon. We can't take back the past, but we can paint the future any color we want :)
ReplyDeleteYou didn't do this to yourself. Repeated for emphasis: you didn't do this to yourself.
ReplyDeleteThis post is breaking my heart. We do what's right--we replace maxi pads with BCPs, then replace BCPs with folic acid--but doing the right thing doesn't always give the right result.
Take care of yourself!
I know how you feel I wish I hadn't stayed on BCPs for so long but the Dr said it would help my symptoms and sure it did. However it's not helped with TTC.
ReplyDeleteI did that with my BCPs -- continue to take them to skip a period -- and wonder now. Did that make a difference. Most likely it didn't do one damn thing, but it is still out there. I hate that.
ReplyDeleteI often wonder who in the universe I pissed off, and why it wants to torture me. Sigh.
Hugs.
I have taken BCPs for years and years (to help with PCOS symptoms). I have no idea if they have affected my fertility or not (as the only sperm I was "using" was pretty sub-par). Maybe someday I'll find out. For the moment I'd rather not deal with PCOS, so BCPs it is.
ReplyDelete