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That Dump in My Brain

Because of the trail of 'small things' that just kept on happening to me - weird rashes and allergy; an acting up of the hemorrhoid I got in this past pregnancy, and infection caught from using a public loo, I have not been feeling my 100 percent lately. 

One of the things that came out of this was that I had to get my blood sugar checked for diabeeetus. I was anxious waiting for the report to turn in, and given that there is diabbbbeeetus on both sides of my family, I was worried.

Thankfully, I do not have diabbeeeetus. 

- - - 

I have been cleaning and disposing stuff from the house. I am glad for the freeing of space, and for the fact that some things are being used with much enthusiasm elsewhere (I 'abandoned' one lot of F's clothes in a slum close to her daycare, and immediately a group of young girls descended on the bag; later, I saw that girls for whom the clothes were too tight were also trying to get into the dresses). 

- - -

My periods have now resumed to be 6 day affairs. They were five days long before any of my pregnancies, and post-Figlia were a eight days event. 

- - -

However, my brain is pretty shot at this point of time. I don't want to elaborate but I am frustrated, gloomy, and have a vague idea of what is happening to it. Even if I write some more, it will be just negative so I can just save myself some alphabets by not elaborating. 

Among other things, I feel like I am no good. I constantly have the "always the bridesmaid, never the bride" feeling. I feel like everything I achieve is always with struggle. 

All this could also be just hormonal. I had awful down-in-the-dump feeling last month before my periods. However, I am not due for AF for atleast a week, so this is just dash.


Comments

  1. Maybe you're low on iron? Could be hormonal, could be chemical, could even still be PPD. Regardless, take care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry that you are feeling that way and things have not been going so well :( Take care of yourself. I hope that things get better,

    ReplyDelete

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