It's M's half birthday today, and to celebrate it we will be going to get his 6 monthly vaccines done today evening.
Sundays at the house are crazy. Seriously, why have I not read anywhere yet about older ones who refuse to let the younger one go to nap?
Figlia was on the same track yesterday, and though she stopped doing her nap-interference faster than before, I still have to convince her to let M nap.
I don't want to scream at Figzy for it, but it is quite exasperating. Yesterday morning, there came a time when both the children were screaming top-lung, and it was horrible.
Figzy is bent on doing some things for M, and God forbid if someone overtakes her privilege for the same. Something akin to that happened, and she was cranky and baby was fussy and the house was rocking on high-pitched crying.
Seriously, if I could blank advice anyone, I would say that having more age gap between kids is better, unless you have an amazing 24x7 support system in place. No one is asking me, but if they did that is what I would tell today. If you do want one more child, more age gap would be good.
I never wanted M "for Figlia", but between balancing their needs, there is hardly any sanity to pick on to sometimes.
I feel for Figlia because I am unfair when I want her to muster more maturity than what her age is. And I want to dissuade her but do not want to be forceful or to perpetrate anything that can make her hold some complex about herself or against M. That she is stubborn is not something I have hidden in my posts. But I do not want to 'break her'. I believe the stubbornness can't be undone, but with maturity a lot of this behaviour will disappear.
She loves M, and tries to be his guardian, but boy, some situations need adults and adult judgement, and drawing lines is a job in itself. And to convince Figlia that everything is just not open to discussion is a challenge in itself.
M is recovering from a viral infection and is already better today. He has been on solids for a short while now and doing well. He is also drooling crazy and I expect his lower tooth to pop at any time now.
Stupid Google ate my comment!
ReplyDeleteFirst, it might be better to have kids closer together in age too, as that might stop one from "helping" or arguing.
Second, maybe if you discuss matters (i.e. behaviors you want to cease) with Figlia and tell her why they're unacceptable (when you interfere with M's nap, he doesn't sleep and then he's cranky and makes too much noise. Also, he needs sleep so he can grow, and we can't interfere with that), in a sort of adult manner (similar to a discussion you would have with a misbehaving colleague or underling), she might respond better. Plus, you could give her some specific M-related jobs so she feels like she has her part in helping. You want her to assume maturity, but she needs information before she can do that. What I'm finding with my 8 year old is that I expect her to follow the logical sequence of things, but she just doesn't have the experience to be able to predict the next logical step. So, if you help out with that, you might get the maturity you're looking for.