My Lady of the Lantern

It's been a couple of weeks since I have realized that M responds to Figzy. If Figzy is in the house, you can always track her location from the sounds emerging....if she is in the house and too quiet, either something is getting messed up, or she has found something very engrossing.  But M really kicks hard when Figzy squeals in excitement, and I was really touched to see that happen. Figzy also spontaneously comes around to kiss my belly, and is accepting of an invitation to come and feel the baby.  If I complain that M is kicking too much, she defends M by saying that the baby is just loving me.  - - -  Figzy takes a noon nap again lately....has skipped just once in the last few days. But you can't reveal that you are trying to make her sleep.  There was a time when she would tell me to 'not close my eyes' in the afternoon, but lately she permits me, and plays next to me, and often falls into sweet slumber on her own.  Night time...

As the D-day approaches, one of my biggest concerns is to create an arrangement which is optimal for everyone including Figlia. To have too many stakeholders in this decision is a pain in the neck. We spent a large part of last week with DH's family. My FIL threw a firecracker tantrum on the first evening, and it sort of hushed up everything for the rest of the trip. I hate it when people like to knit sops and not de-tangle things, and that is the general tendency around. I hate the fatalism that abounds. One of my umpteenth SIL is due to give birth at the same time as me. That family has not revealed the transition about to happen to their toddler, while I have engaged Figzy from the get-go. I am curious about how our varied approaches would pan out. I had injections for M's lung maturity last week. Unlike Figzy's pregnancy, it did not freak me out at all. Last week has brought some great food my way. That was a huge plus.

It's like the calendar dates are burning since I hit 30 weeks. What appeared to be inordinately long, appears to be winding down to a single digit countdown. I hit 32 weeks yesterday, and we are trying to go till atleast 36 weeks. I have head lice. I caught it from my kid. And I have no idea who gave it to her. Managing her thick mop of usually uncombed hair is a trouble in itself. It is easier to manage my hair, and get rid of the darned suckers. I plan to go super short after hitting 33 weeks, so my life would be simpler.  Heartburn returned with a vengeance, and I found a cure. It is called jagg.ery....just a dollop of it throughout the day, and there is no acidity whatsoever. It is one of the pleasant-est things I have had to incorporate.  Nausea has come in, though not so strong. I am about to have my third IV injection, and the second time was more comfortable than the first. I gave up on the option of having an intra-cath inserted, because it will be aw...

- I am about to take my first intravenous iron shot today, and I am not excited at its prospect. - Mother dear returned yesterday, and Figlia has been on a high. - I have heartburn in early evening. - My back is killing me, and I want to stop and relish the reason behind it. - I cant stand tofu and the smell of cabbage being cooked.

My blood report indicates that I continue to have anemia. Supergyn has prescribed parenteral iron therapy from next week. Maybe the anemia is a quiet manifestation of my occasional accusation at Figzy that she is sucking my blood. - - -  Some of the difficult behaviour that I have faced from Figzy is a manifestation of the fact that she is missing a lot of important people in her life currently. She is attached to my mum, and my mum isn't here. Her father is not there too. She can't handle his phone calls because she ends up bawling miserably every time he tries to speak to her on the phone. When she is trying me, I try to stay compassionate to her desperation to know the life she had before I brought her here.  - - - There has been a daily influx of pics of my nephew and the 'new family' on my phone and social media, and I can't help but notice that my SIL looks great. She looks rested, and amusingly, I noticed that she changes her earrings...

There are two solid reasons: a. Once you start, repeating the behaviour becomes easier...the resolve to not do it has to be stronger. I think it is the underlying notion of all violence. b. Because I am raising a sponge. She hit me on the knee today, and told me, "Yes, you do want to know why I hit you, right? No?" --- Got my fourth Vitco.fol injection today. Rainbows and Unicorns, I have lost a kg since last week! I should be pregnant more often.  --- My craving for fried food has been duly rewarded by a ball of fart stuck somewhere down under inside me. Help me. --- Figlia has napped once this week (on Tuesday, the day I recorded the awful Monday) and she was a happy bee till night. However, getting her to repeat the behaviour, and ensuring quiet time is actually quiet time has not happened in the household.  So here's the golden rule: No nap, 8 o'clock. You nap, your o'clock. --- Profound lessons for the toddler this...

** Story of violence ahead, please do not read if you would like to judge me. It has been hard yesterday.  The day started fine. Fine is a variable term, by the way. I noticed that Figlia was up at 7:30 a.m., which is early by about half an hour for her. Lately, I have been putting my nap-avoider to bed around 8 p.m., because I do want a hold on my sanity. She begged for drinking my cup of tea, which I successfully got away from her by finishing the thing in big gulps. She went to school, and she came back. She went to pick up her grandpa from the hospital (we have a driver). She came back home, and refused to come inside. I knew she was hungry, and my father who is extremely impatient is extremely irritable if the meal is not on the table when he reaches it. So, I tried all known routes to get her to come in, since we usually have our lunch together. The whining had started already.  She got in, and I coaxed her to sit on her table and chair, but then she i...