My Lady of the Lantern

I am better now. I still sound hoarse, completely aided by taking back to back classes on most weekdays (   :-)  ).  I consciously uncoupled from the the groups that riled me on Facebook. I haven't run out of fuel, but the discussions are just causing me anguish, and no one is willing to see the other's point of view at all. The thought leaders are also not helping their followers at all.  Also, those who cry at inhumanity turn a complete blind eye, when the victim is of not their faith. Then, I found a freedom-singer who was sharing videos of a person, whose impassioned speech was recorded continents away. When I told this screaming guy that while he is here in the eye of the storm, the person who he believes to be of his cause is enjoying his life in the western world, leaving him behind to be in the line of fire, apparently, I am just trying to confuse him!!!  People only choose to see what they want to see, and have no problems turning away fro...

I am in the grip of viral - nasal congestion, a dull headache, body ache and low grade fever.  I also started my periods yesterday, and traditionally my CD2 has always been the heaviest day. TMI Ahead I am yet to reach a meh about getting my periods every month. I can't wait to be done. I have changed one pad and four tampons between 6 a.m. to now (6 hours), and expect to be taking this beat till evening. Not the most productive thing to do. TMI Finished I got into a verbal sputter with someone on FB today morning. The post by Z was sarcasm on the liberals about the taking in of Roh.in.gyas. We are not the main country where Rohingya are coming, but our borders have been porous for the main country sheltering them.  Here is the gem: (I am the trippy red icon in the discussion) After a point of time, I hung my mental boots and exited the discussion. The other party must be labelling it a win, but I am just exhausted.   I will neve...

Warp Speed On! Seriously, the days are just chugging at super speed (which is not always a bad thing, I suppose). Between today and the last time I posted, DH returned after having FIL shifted to a nursing home, I made a quick academic trip to a nearby town (and I had assumed it would give me some breather, but it did not), and M ran a bout of Viral fever in DH's absence.  DH came back, and has been unwell since then. It started with a viral, and now it's a cold and body ache. M developed a fever again (yesterday), about a week after he had just gotten better. Making M eat is a chore. It is not cute. It is an exercise in patience and perseverance, and remembering that his crying is unnecessary.  Don't get me wrong. I am not one of those parents bent on constantly feeding kids against their volition. I just try to make him eat a bare minimum, sometimes moderated by the fact that unless I count water as food, he has not had anything in about 5-6 hours.  Whe...

...He sends updates on FIL's condition about twice a day. Those remind me so much of the medical bulletins I received recovering in the hospital after birthing CheekyBub. Except that those were fake. These are real. Adulting is not a joy anymore. Rather than building things, currently I feel like I am just trying to keep the ship from sinking. 

On Aug.ust 22, FIL slipped and fell in the bathroom. Since then, he has been unconscious and in the ICU. There is/was a haemorrhage in the right side of the brain. He is improving but very slowly. Chances that he will regain consciousness are high, but the future quality of life is questionable.  DH has rushed to the hometown to be with him. I am here with the kids. Though my inconvenience of being alone with two kids is tiny as compared to what he and my MIL must be undergoing right now, but I think the major pressure will commence when he eventually comes home and will need help 24x7 for every single thing.  That reminded me of my own death wish - quick, painless and in my own bed, hopefully. Having seen two grandparents  who were bed-ridden before their deaths while growing up has absolutely put me in deep desire of not wanting to ever become someone who needs another human to place a bedpan under my bum. Temperamentally, my FIL is not and has never been t...

M has been ruling our whineland lately. Figlia has just about fallen out of it. Or atleast she can be quickly distracted with food/play/juice/different-topic. Of course, she is 5 1/2 and M is 2 1/2, so that age band is way different too. M is a master at ignoring our questions, or supplications and can continue to harp on whatever is his demand - this leads to frequent tantrums.  Yesterday night, he threw a fit over something, and then today morning again, he was in the mood for a spoil.  By the time, we left home, Mr. Crankasaurus had already cried three times, and one of the reasons was that he was not ready to be fully clothed for school. His tantrum reminded me of the time when constant whine abounded with Figlia. That time when I handled Figlia, I was alone. I did not have DH around, and Figlia gave me a hard time almost the entire year that she did Nursery.  Today M was majorly handled by DH. I was there, but did not intervene. I was only the hu...

I shouldn't be blogging, but I am just so good at spending time in things I shouldn't be doing that I could not resist coming here. I finally swallowed a combi-kit antibiotic to tackle my problem.  I have been very fatigued and sleepy these last couple of days. My AF came earlier than the schedule, and my limbs were aching, and my head was throbbing on CD1. That's not how it is usually, so it was quite a noticeable thing. I have started a casual job search, and hopefully something will come out of it. I use the adjective casual, because I am keeping it low-key intentionally.