My Lady of the Lantern

I heard an infant's cry sometime around 5:30 a.m. today. It was still dark outside (hello winter), and I spent a few moments listen to the baby exercising its lungs. There has been an advent of about four new babies in my neighbourhood, including two in my building.  It could be anyone of those bubbas.  I was happy that it wasn't mine. M still is a sleep-wrecker, but that kind of crying is history.  And yet, when I see newborns, I have this urge to hold them, to touch them, and to feel that tiny life in my arms - to see how those tiny fingers wrap around a single finger of mine...their antics and all.  And oh, for the tiniest of fleeting moments I might even experience an urge to be pregnant and have a baby. When my senses return after the lapse of that nanosecond, I am just relieved to not be going through all of that, and those struggles of babyhood.

Wow, M really has stepped up his bug fest. Figlia uninstalled the snot machine only for it to be installed by Mister About-to-be-Two. Plus, the allergic reaction to the insect bite, plus a day of diarrhoea, and I am just sitting pretty about his birthday. Last year, he ran a fever right before his birthday, and sickness is a not my favourite repeat trend. My in-laws are here, and both of them have also been coughing/sneezing and hence there is ample source of infection everywhere.  Thanks for the comments on the previous post. Yes, it could be a growth spurt. I missed documenting an amazing milestone that happened sometime in October. I was out and about in the park in our neighbourhood (it's a gated township) one evening and I had to rush back home for some reason. I told Figlia to stay with M, while I returned back, and I came home for fifteen minutes and returned back to them. That was the first time that Figlia and M were together that way for the first time. ...

In nine days, M will be two. Can you believe it? Unlike Figlia, he won't have a party. To tell the truth, I am not even firm with what will be done for the birthday. This year has been hard on me, and I am in the midst of an existential crisis.  We have travelled outstation twice in the last six weeks, and I went out solo for a conference on my own for a couple of days last week. I wish I could spend some more alone time (maybe a few months?), but that won't happen. Figlia will be five in a couple of months. She is smart (not the first time I said that), and picks up everything like a sponge, and sometimes plays back data in front of people I would not share the data with. That means we have to be careful with what we say to each other in front of her. Then the little Missy will pick up the tone, and reprimand either parent, or both for the way we are talking. She is having a food problem. She has never given me trouble with food. But she is constantly hung...

M has just begun a new round of viral. Yep, his second infection in two months. Giving him medicine is sheer joy, because he fights every approaching medicine with all his life.  Figlia is growing up, and has all the signs of being a big girl. I can't believe that she would be turning five in three months time! I can honestly tell you that time does not fly. I have felt every day of her growing up, some days grating my bones more than other days. But time does pass.  M and his love for developing fevers in the middle of the night are epic. Given that I have young kids, and fair experience of sleep deprivation, getting up bleary-eyed is still not a skill I have mastered.  Figlia loves to draw and listen to stories, and then makes up stories of her own. She has a fair imagination, and is a mini-me (which scares me). Listening to her teacher describing her was like someone describing me to me.  M loves to jump, and his independence. He handles food wi...

Oh I don't let go easily. But I wanted to add new subscription to my reader, and there was a cap of 100 blogs.  I yesterday, finally, let go of some blog subscriptions. Some of those blogs, and the women who wrote them...I clung to every word they wrote ( BabySmiling , for example). Most of the blogs came to an abrupt end. I never knew if they were going to come back. I hope that life became too crazy for them to come and talk about it, or that they lost the zest for blogging, and nothing else happened. But I think I will remember what happened to each of them for the brief years documented there. My students tell me that I have a pretty good recollection of faces, and often also remember names of students passed out 10-12 years back. I might even re-count, a pleasant or a negative experience I have had with that person. I hold on to things too long. I carry too much memory. I don't let go easily. I am unable to purge my emotions, and hoard things that ...

Both Figlia and M are on the mend from a bout of viral that seems to have crossed almost every house in this area. Figlia is doing better than M, because though M is better he continues to be clingy and irritable. Plus, he says no to solid food most of the time, preferring milk. M continues with his sleep aversion. Actually, let me amend that. He sleeps when he does, but refuses to close his eyes before midnight, no matter how long his noon nap was.  DH will be taking a short trip out of town this week. Gracy returned to work yesterday, after almost two months off (she met with an accident).  In a (wow-worthy) first, Figlia gave M a bath yesterday! She who is not yet 5, and he who is not yet 2, are such a team when they are getting along!

Figlia has been super smart in her answers lately. I always considered her bright, but I also now feel that she expresses herself very well, and has a definite sense of humour. Fortunately or unfortunately, she has my kind of sense of humour, and we have a riot in the house just mimicking the fart of an elephant sometimes. M is naughty, and reflects a lot of behaviour that is just like Figlia (but he is a very different person overall). He became angry at me when I unwrapped the candy for him without him asking me to unwrap it. So Figlia! But he is a complete jumping jack, jumping over stuff continuously or jumping from stuff all the time. I however have some worries of my own. My right knee (that had the avulsion injury) that appeared to be completely healed with the medication and braces I wore for a month, is acting up again. I have dull persistent pain that I feel every time I flex the knee. Plus the toes of my left foot are also aching. I noticed a slight swelling on my l...