My Lady of the Lantern

Oh I don't let go easily. But I wanted to add new subscription to my reader, and there was a cap of 100 blogs.  I yesterday, finally, let go of some blog subscriptions. Some of those blogs, and the women who wrote them...I clung to every word they wrote ( BabySmiling , for example). Most of the blogs came to an abrupt end. I never knew if they were going to come back. I hope that life became too crazy for them to come and talk about it, or that they lost the zest for blogging, and nothing else happened. But I think I will remember what happened to each of them for the brief years documented there. My students tell me that I have a pretty good recollection of faces, and often also remember names of students passed out 10-12 years back. I might even re-count, a pleasant or a negative experience I have had with that person. I hold on to things too long. I carry too much memory. I don't let go easily. I am unable to purge my emotions, and hoard things that ...

Both Figlia and M are on the mend from a bout of viral that seems to have crossed almost every house in this area. Figlia is doing better than M, because though M is better he continues to be clingy and irritable. Plus, he says no to solid food most of the time, preferring milk. M continues with his sleep aversion. Actually, let me amend that. He sleeps when he does, but refuses to close his eyes before midnight, no matter how long his noon nap was.  DH will be taking a short trip out of town this week. Gracy returned to work yesterday, after almost two months off (she met with an accident).  In a (wow-worthy) first, Figlia gave M a bath yesterday! She who is not yet 5, and he who is not yet 2, are such a team when they are getting along!

Figlia has been super smart in her answers lately. I always considered her bright, but I also now feel that she expresses herself very well, and has a definite sense of humour. Fortunately or unfortunately, she has my kind of sense of humour, and we have a riot in the house just mimicking the fart of an elephant sometimes. M is naughty, and reflects a lot of behaviour that is just like Figlia (but he is a very different person overall). He became angry at me when I unwrapped the candy for him without him asking me to unwrap it. So Figlia! But he is a complete jumping jack, jumping over stuff continuously or jumping from stuff all the time. I however have some worries of my own. My right knee (that had the avulsion injury) that appeared to be completely healed with the medication and braces I wore for a month, is acting up again. I have dull persistent pain that I feel every time I flex the knee. Plus the toes of my left foot are also aching. I noticed a slight swelling on my l...

M has been bad with sleeping lately.  He refuses to close his eyes! He just does not sleep till completely exhausted, and it is not like he is having long naps in the daycare.  And then, if he wakes up before his sleep is finally done, he cries and is clingy all morning. Figlia ran a fever last week, and she is doing better now.

Figlia has just turned 4 and a half, and she is doing good in several regards. She is taking her baths herself and is able to shampoo her own hair (there is some amount of supervision to check for leftover lather, or whether hair has been washed properly). The door of the bathroom is wide open when she is bathing, so that any of the adults can enter as needed. She is able to wear most of her clothes on her own, and combing her hair is the job she does least well.  Figlia is also showing keen interest in sketching, and that is a habit I am encouraging, because it keeps her off any screens, is enjoyable and engrossing, and she can spend a good half hour on it when she is in the mood.  Everyone says that M's temperament is changing. He has taken a turn for the naughty, and is one of the more vocal kids of his age-group in the daycare. One needs to be worried, if he is in another room, and completely quiet. M has had his share of fun lately...hurling raw eggs as tennis ba...

I am in a very twisted place right now. I am not happy with myself.  I hate the sight of me in the mirror. I am not really loving my job. At some point of time, I loved the job for what it was. I now like it more for the peanuts I earn every month (I relatively earn more peanuts than what similar institutions in the same city can offer for my position). There has been huge work-related stress lately.  Figlia took up swimming recently, and I have not been able to take her to the class regularly, because we are unable to match schedules.  Gracy met with a road accident, and she is sufficiently beat up to not be there for atleast a month. The other day I noticed Figlia yelling at M, completely mimicking my shrill voice when I have a noooooo- directive for either of the kids, and I realized that I am not doing very well as a parent either.  I don't want to play victim. Something is bound to change, and I just don't know what hole to plug first. I am ...

#1 The water he poured from the bottle to the tumbler, went straight to the floor when he tried to pour back into the bottle. #2 He wanted to pull off the plug of the refrigerator and is not being allowed to. #3 We snatched his cache of stuff that he was attempting to throw from the balcony.  #4 I am taking a bath and have latched the door from inside. #5 He is not being allowed to climb into the refrigerator. #6 Because Figlia is crying (heart-melting, but also a pull-out-your-remaining-hair moment) #7 Because he can .