My Lady of the Lantern

A little background info: This girl Xo , is the daughter of very close family friends of my parents, and has also been a student of mine at some previous point of time. She got married into a filthy rich family right out of her graduation. Recently saw her pics on Facebook, and I thought she looked gorgeous....the transformation from an average college going girl to a gracious lady of the house! And I commented the same to my mother - " Xo looked gorgeous". Now the fukdum: Now if I said " Xo looked gorgeous", I meant that Xo looked gorgeous. I did not mean: a. Xo looked gorgeous, but look at me... bwahabwaha ...I am so ugly, bloated, farting blown up. b. Wow, she has got everything...a rich husband, a beautiful home and great clothes and jewellery. c. Her life is so great, and look at me. None of the above thoughts crossed my mind ever. Now the fukdumer: Xo was told by some a$$h0le doctor (counselling skills are a frivolity) in a Big-City, that she will neve...

...that I would be a mother by today already? That this would have been the scheduled date for the birth of the baby... And had I been having all the three of them, they would be here already? ^WiseGuy^

A little secret on the go? Am on CD60 today. I have four (out of ten) days of Duphaston in my system, and my boobs are loving it. Now I hope that AF will come only after I am through with the weekend trip. My last dose will be on Sunday, and maybe within 48 hours of that, my AF will arrive. Any prior arrival will get labelled very uncomfortable. And even though I pray that AF be gentle on me, I am distinctly aware of the need to shed all the built-up weed. Hmmm... ^WiseGuy^

Meg , Shannon , Kristin (Kekis) and Sharon gave me an award. And boy, am I glad or am I glad! The rules of the award are: Accept the award; post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. I won’t be giving it only to my new digs; I am going to mix the new with the old! The blogs that receive it from me: Burble Salvageable Wracked By Faith: An Infertility Blog Elana’s Musings Destined to be an old woman with no regrets Samuel Marc An Unwanted Path Last American Girl Standing Not the Path I Chose Secrets of an Infertile Mom By the pricking of my thumbs Becoming Whole Our Life in Nutchell Xiolo's Place The Pitter-Patter Ova-EZ A Family with Ann Ovulation Did I count 15? No. There are certain other blogs that I stalk too, but they have already received the same award from somebody, so I decided to cast the net a little wider, and bring love to even more lovel...

Well, doc eased the wand into the-land-that-is-fallow. I was almost also thinking that maybe she would ask me to chuck the blood test report and say that she could really see a sac inside and that was the reason why my periods had not come. She swung left, and she swung right. Caught on to zones and froze them eternal. But all she muttered: Nopes. No pregnancy. Ah okay, I knew that was the case, but anyways would not have hurt to be blindsided by a miracle. Overall her impression from the TVS was: ** Anteverted Uterus – That is the best part. The first time I have not heard retroversion/partial retroversion with respect to my U. ** Endometrial Echo Central Thickened; Hyper-echoic ** Both ovaries prominent and few tiny follicles – Woohoo! The cyst has not come back! ** POD is clear Summation: Non-gravid uterus (Secretory Phase) I have been given a ten-day course of Duphaston (10 mg) and Pregnistar (Levothyroxine, Pyridoxine Hydrocholoride and Nicotinamide). That should be bringing some ...

Anxiety. Today is CD56. Like I told some of you in e-mails, I am actually planning to see a doc tonight. And please throw in an ultrasound too. That's right. An inquisitive wand will tell my sorry tale to the doc. I do not know what to expect. I have never ever been this late. Ever . You can't imagine the range of possibilities that have crossed my mind. Once the idea of meeting the doc (in case AF did not cruise in) got more and more fixated in my brain, much of last night and today's workday was spent running around the theme-bush. Almost three times today, I felt that my periods were at that very point 'arrived'. I just want to meet the doc and get it over with. Or not get it over with. ^WiseGuy^

Well, what marks the end of a crappy day at work and the beginning of a weekend that is going to be good? What makes the cut as ‘Wow!’? A surprise package !!! I was making my way up the stairs of the apartment with my hands full with stuff, when the watchman said, “ Ma’m, this came for you .” Go on boy…I am about to fall under the weight of all this, and you can please keep something else too over everything. But I looked at the package and knew it was different. Nobody wanted me to have any exciting offers to ponder on or new schemes or new gold purchase capers or entry into schools we were not anyways interested in. I made it to inside the house and immediately picked up the package. I read the name of the sender on the envelope. It did not mean anything to me. I opened the package and a card fell out. Thank You Sassycupcakes ! It was her. She had sent me that package! She made my day. And oh, the soap smells so delicious that I am tempted to gulp it down in giant quantities. Mmmm…...