So, I did explore and come out of my cosy skin a bit more, and found something important about the town I live in.
Essentially, it is easier to find a divorce lawyer than to find a therapist around here.
I have also been suggested that thinking positive things would keep the negative thoughts away (the apple - doctor relationship?).
My husband says that I must try to forget and move ahead (that was duly nominated for joke of the day). He thinks that I can stop torturing myself only if I stopped thinking about it.
Also, there has been a major fight couple of days back, and I was very hurt when he told me that I pretended to be supportive, but I was not. A few days prior to this fight, I had "indicated" with examples of how he was not listening to me, and did not bother with simple requests and small things I asked from him. Our recent fight did not have my one-up status as the root, but the fact that he assumed me to react a particular way that I refused to react.
My sarcasm is not helping me or our conversations. I just go into Mode-Witch when I am talking to him and referring to Molly.
Given that IRL connections are not helping my mental make-up, I did find a great resource on the internet - Ch.um.p Lady, it is called. It is forum full of spouses who have separated/divorced their cheating spouses, and led by a woman who has survived infidelity herself. The other is a blog called ma.rriage.reco.very.blo.g which is an extremely well written account of a woman trying to heal after facing marital infidelity, but has not walked out on her marriage.
How frustrating! I suppose that you've discussed what he wants (and I assume that is a complete return to how things were before the Molly incident only with you anticipating his needs better?), but have you discussed what you want? And how conflicted you are? I wish you much luck in navigating these treacherous waters.
ReplyDeleteOh, man. I'm glad that you have been looking around for resources and have found some good online forums. Oh, and he needs YOU to be more "supportive"?? That's a laugh... (Sorry, I'm partisan here!)
ReplyDeleteCheck out Harville Hendrix and John Gottman for a very interesting take on couples and relationships. Hugs
ReplyDeleteI really don't have more to add, I also find it laughable that he needs you.to be more supportive..what about you, your needs, your feelings, your pain and grief over the situation? It.is not something that can be brushed under.a rug and tidied away like that (hugs) my friend.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you have found some resources, even if they are on the internet. Hope you do find support somewhere, somehow soon.
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