My Lady of the Lantern

I sound like a rabid monkey these days, but practically my life is much calmer in terms of scheduling. Kids don't have school right now (they will be back there soon), and we practically sleep when we want, and wake when we want. Or atleast I don't have to wake up sharp at 5:20ish to start the school day. I am having lunch at home, and watching flicks at whim. I also re-kindled my love for the online scrabble avatar - "Words with Friends", something I had stopped because it was too busy in my previous life. I tend to play to relax, and have to be relaxed to play.  I still don't have a job, and I am waiting for interview calls actually. Sitting at home, I now realize why a few folks I know told me I was cuckoo to not hold a 'next job' before leaving my current one. At that time, it felt right. Now, the lack of income is making an impact on me. Also, I fell victim to an online phishing attack. And I lost money. It was about a month back from now. An...

It is true. I will never finally leave the blog without saying so, unless something exceptional happens. It's been momentous and turbulent so far. Feb was my last working month. I spent March with kids at home, and was able to give undivided attention to Figlia who had her final examinations then. So did M. He has improved writing-wise, but is still a long way from getting comfortable with the writing bit. Also, in one of his papers, as his teacher showed me, he refused to complete a page of his worksheet, even though he knew it, because 'he did not feel like writing anymore'.  It was in March-end that kids and I shifted here to our home city. April was admission time, and we are in May now. Kids do have school enrolments now, but I did not get the desired school. The schools I wanted were either too expensive, or had no seats for my children. So we settled for another school, more on its potential than the actuals. Let us see, how well that goes. I sti...

Last few days of coming here, to the office. I will miss the place (and the salary crediting to my account). I have no interview calls in hand now. Kids will have their term ending in March end, and we will be shifting after that. 'We' does not include husband as of now. He is bound to shift slightly later.  Frump.

I had a major anxiety attack yesterday, and it took me a lot of time to just settle down. It happened so that last week, I paid out my share of what I had promised for the land we are purchasing in the hometown. The money went poof from my salary account. And what used to read something like 7,00,000 X read in the figures of 84,000 X. I have never seen such serious dwindling in my liquid reserves.  Suddenly, the money that was always there is just not there. I can't splurge. I cringe everytime I pay for anything these days. Then, Gracy asked for some advance on Saturday.  On Monday they floated a form in the office, and I realized that Feb salary would get delayed because of the tax filing that every single person has to do. Oh God! That feeling of spending money that you don't have, is so heavy these days.  I have money in a lot of places...some into fixed deposits, some invested into the share market. It is just that I don't have the honey jar now. I w...

It's my first post of 2019, I should be adding confetti to the post. I can't!  L turned eight years today.  March/April will be a month of upheaval for the family, and right now, even though, March won't come before March, and April won't come before April, it does not prevent the anxiety cat from sitting on the windowsill already.  I will be going to my hometown jobless, with a mortgage on my name. Kids will be going to a new school that was in our consideration set and not choice set. Hubby dreams of eventually getting my in-law's house in shape, and a joint family setup, but that will be a whole lot of adjustment on its own. On the plus side, I will be putting up at my parents' place for the initial months so daily life should be easier. I have resigned already, but will be working till Feb end to say the least (and I need the money).

~~TMI Ahead~~ (Sorry, can't manage to write anything unless body fluids are involved) So, Wow! I almost wrote a positive post yesterday because, I hadn't been spotting for the last two days. But guess what happened again today? What happened when I was in the middle of a workday and felt a gush? Hello, brown spotting ! Not that I had been missing it. It can shoo away already. I came back to my cabin after a loo trip to see if any clothes were damaged. It was just the undie. I swallowed a Tren.axa. I put a newspaper on my office chair because I did not want to ruin it. I went through my day just like that. I couldn't have been happier to have come back home. I washed my underwear. I have been washing my underwear separately very frequently this month because I keep on ruining it. I brought myself some medicine that I had barely stopped taking on Monday evening. I found a bottle that's still got a year to its expiry - a tonic that I took post-pregnancy for dysfun...

~~TMI Ahead~~ Last fortnight has been a flurry of activity. We had a belated birthday party for M turning 4 on Dec 1. At that point of time, we also had guests at home. The party went well. What happened next day was unexpected. I suddenly fell very, very ill. I had the chills, and fever. The blood test next day indicated I had severe UTI, even though I did not have any of the symptoms. My fever recurred every six hours. Once I woke up at night, it would take a couple of hours for me to feel comfortable again, and it was a full seven days before I broke the fever cycle. However, what complicated matters was that I began fresh periods on De.cember 7. They came in super early given the fact that I had finished my last periods on Nove.mber 23rd itself.  This time my periods have been heavy, and though I am on CD7 today, in the morning, it felt more like CD3 than CD7.  I still feel very tired, and both my knees are aching. I still don't feel very good. It is winte...