My Lady of the Lantern

I alternate between feelings of leaving L behind, and then re-live flashes of moments from "her time". I wonder about how things would be if she was here.  And how things would be if only she and Figlia were my children? What would she grow to be like? Would she be as feisty as her sister? And would Figlia's fire be more muted if she was the younger child? Or would Figlia have happened at all, if L had lived?  Somehow, holding M makes me closer to L. He is my last baby. Every day,  he grows up a bit more and the farther I go away from the stage of infancy. The relish I experience with M is different, and much calmer.   In his face, there is L's face.  ( There, I said it. I never said it before. I never say this to anyone .) His face is closer in its features to L than Figlia's.  If I made them stand together you would recognize them as siblings,  but there is a secret to his face that makes my heart weep with sadness and jo...

Remember I told you our sleeping arrangement was such that Figlia was with DH and M slept with me? Now it seems, Figlia is more and more comfortable in bed of her own, and so DH does stay with her to make her sleep, but he is able to sleep on our double bed. Figlia gets to be in the same room as us, but on separate accommodation, and things are better.  I have been looking at things that can possibly ease the night terrors. I know she is imaginative, and she often carries stresses of her waking life to bed. I have not found a foolproof solution (or I would not have been mentioning the struggle), but lately indulge in "empowering suggestions". I also believe in prayer, and tell her to invoke her favourite, because no matter what, she can fight anything (including villains of the animal world - imaginary cockroaches and cats). That said, we have had a good stretch recently with very few sleep interruptions from her lately because of lesser night terrors, but she still ...

If I posted on Saturday, I would have posted about useless office drama.  If I posted on Sunday, I would have told you that I got my periods. If I posted on Monday, I would have told you about Figlia's tantrum. If I post today, it could be about an oral note of gratitude I received from a colleague. 

M rolled off our bed today morning. I was in the kitchen. His Dad was standing right next to the bed, reading the newspaper. Figlia was playing with him. He just rolled and rolled, and landed on his back. I heard him shriek and cry.  This event happened twenty minutes after I had put M on the bed we have set up on the floor, and DH said that it was alright to keep him on our bed.  I was angry, and Hubby did not pretend like nothing happened. He was profusely apologetic, and that saved him.  M was fine. Just shocked, but fine. Figlia cried because she perceived the heat on my face, and then I told her that it was not directed at her, so she calmed down.  Last night he woke up at midnight, and was awake for a while, playing by himself. He is on Entero.germina for his poop troubles.  He is mobile, even though he does not look like it. Somehow, he will twist and writhe and get to whatever object is catching his fancy, and that is something I had...

Today morning, the TV was on and Figlia was dancing to some video, and M was chuckling loudly watching his sister. His chuckling made Figlia get even more excited, and we all stood spectators to this happening. M is trying to sit. He has already been raising his upper body, and supports it well on his hands, but today I saw him raise his bums too. He flopped, but it appears that he will begin to do it soon! Still no tooth in sight for M. I had to give Enterog.ermina to M because of anomalous po.oping. And I am hoping to rein that in.  My house-guests will go away tonight, and it will be a chore to handle Figlia because she wants to go on the train. She wants to go with whoever is going on  that locomotive, and our house-guests will be taking the train. Also, she is very attached to her grandparents.  I am still sleep deprived. Even though M is on solids now, he does wake up 3-4 times for milk during the night, and Figlia has night terrors. It's not aw...

Today morning, M was lodged in my arms while I tried to soothe his crankiness. I was carrying him from one room to the other, and then I asked DH to take him.  When hubby extended his arms, M immediately turned and pulled himself closer to me!  Whoa!  DH tried again, and M repeated this behaviour.  However, M did not oppose when DH finally took him from my arms into his. 

Have I told you how Figlia is with M? M has three adults looking after him - two of them who are, and one who believes she is. It's cool watching Figlia and M interact. M has a tuned in ear for his sister, mostly because he has no option. And Figlia is like "My little baby"/ "My baby"/ "My love", and a couple of other variants. Figlia did not watch TV till she was 2 years old. M is not so resisting of that idea. Now if we could only let those naps happen painlessly for everyone! Last evening was eventless as far as M's pickup from daycare was concerned. He sneezed once at daycare, and I think at home too. I hardly thought much of it. And M slept in the night the way he does. When I reached by his side to settle down, even then I never felt anything amiss. (I love watching his face when he sleeps. There is so much serenity on his face.) Sometime around 11 p.m. I  'heard' his nose. By midnight, he was positive...