I am just passing through another panic/anxiety attack. Nothing awful, but it took a good standing under the shower to tell myself that panicking was not very helpful.
There is some can't-mention-here family thing drama running as a background process. It affects me obliquely and I can neither change nor quicken its pace. It will take its own course, the repercussions will continue to hit us, as the time passes, and I am losing my brain on why no one else sees it my way.
After a lot of false starts, I just endured my first proper period. The thing is that after menstruating for half my life, I still can't say if my periods have ended or there will be some gush happening again. I am hoping for the better situation.
Figlia is gone to UsualCity last week. My travel later this week is imminent. I have to pack, and have little motivation for it. M's 3 month vaccination was ugh. He had a fever and his legs ached, resulting in a very cranky baby. The discomfort was pretty much gone by Sunday noon, but he became his usual self only from Monday onwards.
I am quibbling with my husband over why he can't take a weekly off. That's right folks, my hubby just works through the weeks, taking no respite!! I hate the guy who came up with 'quality time with children' concept. I would love quantity too, at this point of time.
He thinks that because we are agreed on hiring full-time help at home, I should not be fretting at all. Since he is not persuaded, the weekly off is a no-go. Maybe he will realize it some day. I am not sure how old the kids will be by the time this hits him. There is a higher chance that he will never mind this at all.
I am so sorry for the drama and your husband not understanding why he should take time with the kids and you. I wish things were easier.
ReplyDeleteI hope that the kids and you adjust, as well as you can, with the move back.
It will hit him eventually. Does he like American music? Maybe you could play Cat's In The Cradle by Harry Chapin for him...over and over.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUwjNBjqR-c
Sorry about the anxiety, the family drama (how is it that no one can ever see things clearly - i.e. your way?), and your period's return. But all these things will pass eventually, right?
I am sorry that your husband cannot understand what this trade involves, and most probably will regret it. Because time never comes back, and no one can start anew. The thing is that when one of the parents is more present, that parents needs to do all the tough things, discipline, routine maintenance, the daily grind in shirt, and the absent parent is always the fun parent. And when the time comes for all parties to see the truth, it is always too.late.
ReplyDeleteBut, as with all human beings, be they small or big, you cannot do anything to make them see what you see, if they simply do not want to. It is probably the hardest lesson I still have to learn,and a very frustrating one. I know. I do not hold the truth in its entirety, but I am often right, why won't no one at least listen?!