~~Squeal Warning: Put on your court dress, because here presented is a case that is otherwise attracting covert and overt judgement~~
March 8th was my seventh blogoversary; time for the itch to set in, I guess.
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M was here with me in UsualCity till 16th. Our getting a nanny at home plan has not panned out.
I wanted to settle a bit before being back to work, but with the kids, it seemed everything specially crucial to me was just stuck on full speed snail pace.
It is 'season time' for hubby and he is gone out for the day on all days of the week. Figlia had her agenda, and M had his. Their demands were different, and often at the same point of time. Sometimes Figlia was too keen on playing with M, when M wanted to nap. One afternoon, she did not let him sleep till 4 p.m., when he was actually wanting to do so at 1 p.m. Figlia is naughty, and things that I don't let irk me, were making me yell at her. She has this glint in her eyes, when she is up for some mischief, and catching that glint itself set me off sometimes.
My parents were going to take the train back to their town on 16th, and I sent M back with my mum. He will be with my parents till May first week.
I got a breather. I discovered full night's sleep (though some stupid internal alarm keeps on waking me up during the night), and I got work done.
We sorted Figlia's schooling, and her new term starts in about a fortnight.
I go back to work tomorrow.
When I 'admit' to people that M is not with me, but with his grandma temporarily, people give me this 'how could you' look. I have no satisfactory answer. I cannot explain. And I don't want to keep explaining why.
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I did not get Mirena.
I just don't get people who think that the mother is the only person capable of taking care of a small child. Why shouldn't a grandmother, who clearly has experience, and who quite probably loves the child very very much, not be perfectly capable of taking care of the child? Why do people think that it must be ALL THE MOTHER ALL THE TIME and if you don't you are a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PERSON?
ReplyDeleteGah. It bothers me. If I had had grandparents living close enough when Gwen was younger, I totally would've taken advantage of them. I LIKE the idea of my child being surrounded by competent loving adults and learning that there are people other than mom to turn to.
(A skill I wish Gwen would learn in some areas. When she wakes up in the middle of the night because she's kicked her blankets off and can't get them back on, no one but mommy will do to tuck her back in...even if I was dead asleep, but Joel was still awake and working downstairs. I will admit, I have occasionally shouted half-asleep "Mommy is NOT GETTING OUT OF BED". I am not a pretty picture when woken too soon.)
Before having children, and going through this experience myself, I might have judged. But now, when I know how it feels, I am so no judging. And I am not telling you so just because we are friends and I tell you what you want to hear, I honestly do think that one must do whatever one feels necessary to make it through (insert period of time) with the sanity more or less intact. If this was what you had to do, then who am I to judge? I am not you, and I can't decide what's best for you.
ReplyDeleteI had to take out the mirena. In the beginning, instead of periods I had mild spotting. But then I got the reverse, and when I couldn't take the seemingly never-stopping bleeding, I had to take it out. In the end, it might have done more damage than good. We still have to see how things are in three months. My doctor says she's had more complains about it, and it makes her curious. I'll ask what came out of her curiousity when I see her.
No judgement here at all. We all do what we need to make it through. He will be well cared for. You'll get a chance to ease into life in usual city. You'll also get a chance to breathe for a bit. All are good things. Many hugs.
ReplyDeleteHa! If your husband were home and engaged in childcare...I might question. But you, alone with two demanding children? No - you need some help. I'm sure you would rather it be otherwise, but punishing Figlia (by getting angry with her) because you are overwhelmed is not acceptable either. So, M gets some grandparent time, and you and Figlia get back in your habits. It seems like a workable solution to me, even though you will miss M. Now, once May comes, I hope that you have more help at home. Good luck.
ReplyDelete