Figzy was in playgroup at her daycare. When I brought her here, she was admitted in the Nursery class in a neighbourhood school. She is one of the younger ones in her class, and started there last week. It is just three hours a day, and for the first week, she was there for only an hour. It was not great last week. She resisted going in, and cried horribly when she saw that I had come to pick her up.
She also asked for her friends (from her previous setting), and I could not arrange any meeting with any of them. This week, on Monday, she pulled in 90 minutes, and after confirming with her class teacher, she has been doing two hours there since yesterday.
Her abject refusal to go in has gone, and is happy to see me, but does not cry, which is pleasant in itself. If she continues being this settled, she will get to be there for full three hours. She is relishing the rides and toys in her new school, and this is a huge plus.
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I can write a few lines on potty training every few days. Figzy is now completely diaper-less except for when she needs to poop. She asks for the diaper to be put on, and does not want to sit on the potty. She wears her diaper, continues walking around doing whatever she was busy with, and tells me when she is done. I wash her, and she is back to her pajama.
However, we have had random accidents. She peed on the bed twice one night. And then one day when she woke up and refused to get up from her bed, she relieved herself there itself.
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I used to clip her nails during her noon naps. Now that she is not doing so, I am finding it difficult to get it done. I don't have a table lamp in my room, or a smaller light that I can use, and when she is finally sleeping in the night, I can't help but slip to dream-world myself.
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Figzy has started to socialize with the kids in the neighbourhood. Things are okay, and I want her to play and interact because it would be good for all. However, there is a particular kid who makes her cry every evening.
He has this yellow ride that Figzy craves and demands for every time we pass their house. This boy is just a year older than Figzy and has a younger sister, but is known for hitting and scratching his 18 month old sister. It's just a huge case of sibling rivalry.
Figlia gels with the little girl, but if the boy is around, one or both the girls would be crying. With his sister, he will just push her off the ride. And if she sees Figlia, he will sit on the thing and loudly announce and repeat that he will not be giving it to her ever.
My only strategy is to remove the wailing Figlia from the site. It is his ride, and I can't really ask if he would share it.
a) Do I purchase a similar ride for Figzy? (Since the family's home is located such that we pass them everyday and this is a daily skirmish, and I have to survive the next six months). The boy's mother also repeatedly told the boy to share his toy but he refused, enjoying Figzy's cry even more.
b) I am so afraid of this kind of sibling rivalry happening in my house when the younger one arrives. I believe that some extent of it is present in all multiple children families, but are there ways to ensure that it does not escalate?
We rally don;t have much sibling rivalry. Occasionally the two older ones will fight over a toy. If they cannot share, the toy gets taken away from both, so they learn to share.
ReplyDeleteIf Figzy is really interested in the ride, buy her one - she'll use it for a lot longer than you might imagine. If she's just interested because it's something new that's not hers...well, it's a good opportunity to introduce the concept of "Sorry, it's not yours and you can't always have everything you want." But, you should talk with Figzy about letting that boy make her cry - she shouldn't. :)
ReplyDeleteI think that in terms of sibling rivalry, you just let them fight it out between themselves and hope they settle it before it becomes physical. Then, you have to intervene and everyone gets in trouble for not being able to settle differences. But you'll have to keep an eye on Figzy from the start - if she's as domineering with M as she sometimes tries to be with you, you might have to train her to be generous and kind before M is old enough to grab her stuff.
We moved from sleep-time nail clipping to TV/video time nail clipping. Then my girl would have something to occupy her that didn't involve her hands or moving around too much.
Mostly potty-trained well before 3 is excellent. Good job, Figzy (and Mom)!
Back to the sibling rivalry - Figzy has already shown signs that she's ready to love the new baby, so it probably will not be a problem at all. But you might want to start telling her now that time might get divided so she's ready for the shock of not having all the attention.
DeleteIf she really wants that ride, she will probably use it more than you think, especially since she has the incentive of being reminded every day that she does not have one. You might even tell her that it is baby M who talked to into it. :-)
ReplyDeleteThere will be sibling rivalry, it is normal to have some, but it depends on so many factors how much and how serious that rivalry can be, that you can't possibly cover all possible sources. So you do your best.
I appears that that boy is more possessive and willful than normal, so teasing his little sister is very remarding, possibly because he also gets attention that he fels entitled to, even though it is not the positive kind. Kids are weird like that, we might as well call them tiny humans, they so much behave like adults. :-p
I wouldn't worry too much about this, just a little bit. As A said before, she already showed signs of loving the baby, there is no reason to think that that will vanish in thin air.