If you recall, I told you about our early-Nov visit to my in-laws, and meeting with DH's extended family. One of the people I met was DH's uncle who has a grand-daughter P exactly six months older than Figzy.
P's mum had to be admitted to the hospital with pre-term labour and eventually it became clear that the baby won't be in for long. Careful monitoring ensued and a comfortable gestation time was passed. When she was finally admitted to the hospital with contractions, it became a clear possibility that P would share her birthday with her Grandpa.
The whole family actually was hoping that it would be so, but P did not show up till the next day of her Grandpa's birthday.
Well, that uncle died recently. It was sudden and unexpected. The family was unprepared and they didn't know what hit them. He did not die of an accident or any prolonged illness. His death was swift.
Two days prior to his demise he complained of discomfort, which he attributed to acidity. On the day of the death, he had a hearty dinner and felt sweaty and he was taken to the hospital. The terminal event was heart failure, and he died within an hour of being admitted there.
Just before he went in, the people outside were making plans of things to do in their trip back from the hospital. In one heavy single clean stroke, everything changed. No one was prepared: not the family, not the person who died. DH's uncle was in his early 60s. with no major medical complaints. His widow was inconsolable.
I keep thinking that it was good that P does not share her birthday with her Grandpa. There will be much heaviness and grief when P's birthday rolls over, because the deceased's birthday would have just slipped by.
This coming year would be very acutely felt by the family. If P would have shared her birthday with him, this coincidence would have become a more permanent reminder. Her birthday would always have been slotted with another person who departed unexpectedly.
What happened with the grandfather and granddaughter became a confirmation for me of a notion I had in my mind for a fleeting while, and I am now glad that it did fructify.
That Figlia and L are very close in the dates of birth is known. What is not commonly known is that during my last days of pregnancy with Figzy, when I was admitted to the hospital for closer monitoring, the doc wanted to take me to atleast the weekend because that would have put on the other side of the 37 weeks mark.
If I would have lasted till that weekend in the pregnancy, Figzy would have had the same date of birth as L. It didn't happen so. Figzy came out when I was a day shy of the 37 weeks mark. I am so happy that the girls have separate days.
That particular week of my life I had let myself indulge in the idea of the girls sharing their birthday, and when Figlia chose differently I did not mind it. That idea died naturally, and frankly my mind had greater concerns than the vain idea. I had not thought about it again till the recent happening in that particular family.
Hindsight is such an interesting thing, isn't it? I'm glad the girls have their own days...
ReplyDeleteI have never been a fan of shared birthdays. I'm glad Figzy chose her own day...because L should have her own day all to herself.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad they have their own day.
ReplyDeleteNot the same thing, but I do understand the connection of birthdays. My V does share a birthday with a brother of mine, we had a rather severe falling out after my first miscarriage and he had moved out of the country the year before. He has never moved back, nor spoke to me since. When I found out I was due Christmas Eve, family mentioned that brother and wondered when my mother was due with him... I had hoped they wouldn't share a birthday, to be honest. V's birthday is amazing, and his own, but it also reminds me of all those birthdays from my childhood. My brother is not unreachable, but he has disconnected himself from the family in a very tangible way. He does not call, he does not visit, and he probably won't ever move back. He's not just across the city like my estranged father, or across the country like my sister, he's across the world wandering, looking for a place of his own. It leaves an empty place in my heart, and the connection with his birthday is bittersweet to me.
I too am not exactly a fan of shared birthdays, because it mainly steals away from the attention that otherwise would go on just one person. But I am a fan of finding the up side of when things do not go my way or plan. It usually is better than what i intended. Perhaps I am just a poor planner lacking imagination.
ReplyDeleteIt's good though that your girls have their own birthdays. At least I think so too.