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Hurrah x So Many Reasons

I know you are on the edge of your seat to find out how my trip was, right? It went well. It was good in some regards, but almost every day had some agenda, and I wish that I had some more downtime when I was there. My mother completely took over the feeding Figlia department, and I was able to go shopping minus Figlia, and got a haircut plus highlights at an old favourite salon.

I fought with my brother on the last day, the kind where I-am-not-talking-to-you-ever verbal duel, where we kept on one-upping each other with rude words, till my mother intervened and made me shut up. Well, my ever lasted for a couple of hours, and by evening we were talking again. 

As far as the travel to and fro was concerned, it was okay, and Figlia put up some fight only on our way back. My journey back was an overnight train, and my kid wanted to get out of the train, about 20 minutes after the train started. I finally convinced her that there was a large dog outside the door, and I could not take her out. 

When I woke up on CD2, it became apparent to me that this was going to be a usual CD2 for me, and so I popped a pill (which I do not ever) which temporarily fooled my body and cut down the bleeding. It was a huge respite. My rest of the periods were normal.

Anyways, there are several things I came back with. I came back with a "plan" for three cycles (including the current one). I came back with stuff for Figlia's birthday.I also came back with loads of chocolate gifted to me. I shopped for myself too. 

And Thursday evening, Figlia pointed at L's pic and said "baby". Spontaneous, Unprompted, whatever else that it can be, it made me squeal internally. L does not escape my mind. I think of her every day, and if Figlia acknowledges the photograph, I will soon have a good chance of introducing my girl to her sister. She must know. Losing L dented me in ways I can't completely express and an open acknowledgement of her would be balm for me. 

My ghost child will always be there with me. Always. 

Every milestone that I reach with Figlia is also a reminder of what her sister might have been doing at that point of time. I don't want to leave her behind.  


Comments

  1. Stacie21 December 2013 at 10:13

    Your last line made my heart ache. I don't think you would or could ever leave her behind. Figlia does know her sister. Many hugs.

    So glad your trip went well and you were able to get some "me" time. Yea for plans, too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnotherDreamer21 December 2013 at 10:57

    Your last line touched me too. I don't think you could (*hugs*)


    I'm also glad your trip went well for the most part! Plans are good, I don't know about you but they always help make me feel grounded, ready to march forward.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jos21 December 2013 at 21:57

    I'm so glad you took the trip and that things went pretty smoothly! It's nice to have a change of pace and see people sometimes. Worth the hassle of travel. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mina24 December 2013 at 02:06

    I am glad your trip was so much better than you feared it would. Family can make onevery happy and very, very angry. F knows her sister. Tell her more, and she will know. Hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. areyoukiddingme24 December 2013 at 09:02

    Well, of course Figlia will know her sister. She may not know the story of her sister for a few years, but she will know that L is her sister. It is still sad to think of milestones not reached.

    I'm glad your trip was not as horrible as you were expecting. I'm going to assume you won't be getting a dog for Figlia any time soon! :)

    When I tell my sisters I'm never talking to them again, that has lasted anywhere from 3 months to 3 years. You are an amateur! And I am excellent at holding grudges. :)

    ReplyDelete

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