Roses on my Mind*

Shifted to watching memorial videos after watching birthing videos on Youtube last night. 

- - - 

A colleague shared her pregnancy news with me, and for about three weeks, I was the only one in the office who knew. 

She keeps pinging me for advice, or to share news on some appointment, and in general. She is pretty pleasant to talk to, and I chat up with her occasionally.

We were on the phone yesterday, when I said:

"In both my pregnancies, ......."

I do not think the struggled interruption of a nanosecond between 'both of my pregnancies' and "....." was perceptible to her. 

(She knows I am raising the baby I gave birth to last year. Even though we have never spoken of my history, I believe enough in the power of the grapevine to be sure that she knows I lost my first child. )

But I was suddenly worried if my sharing my-first-pregnancy-anything would overshadow her too. I know it sounds very irrational, but I was worried if I was jinxing her by making any references to when I was pregnant with Lol@. 

- - -

I counselled a woman about some fertility issue last year. 

The reason why my colleague shared her exciting news with me was because she was making a water-cooler conversation over something fertility, and I had added something to the discussion. She later took up the thing with me separately. And when in January she conceived, I was one of the first to know. 

And then last night, DH asked me I would speak to this young woman in his office. She is desperate to conceive, and is so far unsuccessful. 

* Perhaps, you will remember why Roses are on my mind.