Snippets of May

It took me a while, but I like the new house. And the neighbourhood holds the promise of playmates for Figlia. A grandma we met at the park one evening has a two month old grandchild, and she was so excited to see Figlia. My neighbour (who is not here currently and will be here in June , I heard) has got six month old twins. Nice, eh?

And every morning I watch out for a squirrel I have named BentTail, and couples walk around the neighbourhood. And there is a Casuarina tree in my view.

I love Casuarina, mostly because I find its name pretty delightful....the name just rolls around in the mouth...cas-u-a-rina....cas-uari-na.

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Every evening Figlia and I go out for a walk in the neighbourhood. Figlia focuses on the children playing in the park. People stop by to speak to her, cootchie-coo her or to tell me that I haven't clothed her enough / appropriately.

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There is magical chemistry between DH and Figlia. Figlia loves her Papa, plain and simple. And it shows.

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I feel very emotional and overwhelmed at times. When I was new in the house, it was particularly so. Just overwhelmed.

When my mother left and I was totally alone with the baby, it did get to be riding on my nerves.

And the initial days in this house, Figlia would just cry and not settle down for the night. We would walk around, taking turns, till she slept in our arms and then we would put her down.

I was scared that this would become a consistent behaviour.

That episode passed.

I still get emotional and sometimes my anxiety rides high.

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"Can't pack my bag and leave"

Suddenly it seems that I am the only one who can't pack up their bag and leave.

Everyone else can, and does.

My parents got busy with their own life. My brother and his wife get a distant view of my life and they can't still understand anymore than the cuteness that my baby is. To be fair, my mother has promised to come around frequently and be with us. But I feel unfair to be disrupting her life/routine like this.

Hubby's family and his cousins are all living a life of their own with acknowledgement of the new member in the family. But they are living their routine.

Hubby gets to go to the gym, the office, the picnics/day trips...he can plan a meal out with his man-friends without batting an eyelid. He does not do the last bit without telling me first, but I am fired that he still has the opportunity to be daddy and have a good social life.

He recently poked me about why I did not sleep more in the morning.

'I just want to drink my cup of tea in peace.' While he can be non-rushed in his pursuits, I regularly schedule my peace of mind.

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Niece was visiting us for a few hours. She was munching on something and looked at a picture on the wall."Mumma, is that Figlia?", she asked. My SIL took cipher time in responding to the question in a yes.

She knows it was CBub's pic.

She says that she never talked about what happened to the 'baby' with her daughter, and my niece believes that the baby I now have is from the pregnancy then.

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Less than a week into our new abode, Figlia got diarrhoea. I was frazzled. It took 4 - 5 days for the thing to settle, but it eventually did. Everytime she pooped, my heart sunk lower and lower.

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Mummy was with us when we came to UsualCity. Thanks to her, I was able to unpack. She came and stayed us again in mid-May for 4 - 5 days.

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I can't and won't go back to work unless I find someone suitable for Figlia. And so far my nanny search has been a disaster. I did not have many options, and the one lady who turned up was well, so ahem!

She came to first day of work with a deep cough. She had to be told to please keep her hand on her mouth while coughing. She told me she did not like to stay alone and wanted to be able to talk to someone. She followed me around the day she was here, when I essentially wanted her to be around Figlia.

She was given an off the next day because of her cough. Day three she did not turn up on her own. The same thing happened on day four and I sent her a courteous message to not bother coming back.

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Figlia is now 14.2 pounds and 25.9 inches. She began drooling. She imitates and is definitely a foot stomper.

She sits on my lap, her back resting on my body, supported and held.

And I finally realized that I do not have to rush to her everytime I hear her stirring or making sounds in her sleep, because several times, she just goes back to sleep.

We now wake up twice every night for feeding. Figlia can continue to remain awake and play in the dark for a while.

She now attempts to hold her bottle.

Figlia is a fan of ceiling fans. They can't escape her notice.

She focuses on the kids in the park, especially the running around and the noises that the children make.

And hands are interesting. They are regularly being tasted...

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We took Figlia to her routine immunization to Dr. T. It was Dr. T who had taken care of CBub finally.

I snuck to go see their NICU. What was I thinking? That I might see CBub in her incubator? The corner she was in is emblazoned on my brain.

The blinds were drawn. I could not see one thing inside.

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Initially Figlia too little to no interest in her play gym. Now she does and her latest antic is to try and bring the butterflies on it, into her mouth. Fails every time.

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My April spotting continued till May 3. Then, on May 13, the spotting came back and stayed till 28-29th May. I am not sure how long we are stuck in this land.

But do you know what I am grateful for? That I have no middle of the night crazy gushes. That I can still get away with a night of sleep that is not broken by crazy bleeding. I leave the waking up to Figlia.

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There have been certain revelations

- My husband deals with uncertainty better than me. I am just a jumping jack in such situations.

- My absence in UsualCity made him a better socializer. He does not make friends easily, but he did build up a friend circle.

- The wanting another child is still an open option for us. Open does not necessarily mean yes, and it does not shut the door either.

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People have been dropping off the family tree. In my family and the extended family (of DH) there have been four deaths this May. Three of them were old and sick. One of them was under-30 and a new mum.

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It took a while, but if you wish to, you can call me Dr. Elsie. :-)