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Sometimes

Sometimes, I really go back to the drawing board and wonder what God's plan really means.

Recently, that thought was set off by the news that someone I knew in real life had conceived on contraception. And she was not ready to have the baby. The couple finished family building more than a decade ago. The lady has old eggs by all medical standards, and yet the egg of questionable quality, and her hubby's made-of-steel sperm converged on a full moon night and resulted into a baby. She did not want the baby, but she was, let's say 'very affected' by having to not continue the pregnancy.

She happens to be the second person I know who has managed to conceive while actively trying to prevent a pregnancy. And one of them has conceived twice on contraception!

And I can look at number of people here, in this corner of the blogosphere who would have readily accepted for that conception to have happened in their own uterus.

God's will, Yadda Yadda....and I wonder how fertility plays out really. 

And then, I read posts like these, and I start thinking of how fantastic it would have been to not have let my acquaintance having to go through her gut wrenched and the baby to have blossomed in a wanting womb.

Comments

  1. katery25 April 2012 at 23:52

    sounds like they weren't using their birth control properly to me, usually it's pretty fail safe, of course, i don't really know, but that would be my guess.

    ReplyDelete
  2. lostintranslation26 April 2012 at 01:08

    What can I say... life's not fair in so many ways, but sometimes it does bless us with true miracles.

    ReplyDelete
  3. battynurse26 April 2012 at 03:34

    I have such a hard time with the whole God's will concept and all the instances it's used in. I've also seen a large number of women (at work) who have gotten pregnant while using various contraceptives or even post tubal or vasectomy. Sometimes it's hard.

    ReplyDelete
  4. areyoukiddingme26 April 2012 at 08:50

    I second the Life Isn't Fair idea. I only wish it were...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kathy27 April 2012 at 05:53

    I have struggled a lot with this, after our five year journey through secondary infertility and loss. I used to believe that God had a plan for our lives and that everything happens for a reason.

    After Molly came into our life and died I was no longer able to embrace that theology anymore. I still have a strong faith and believe in God. I just don't believe that he preordains all these people to struggle with IF and get pregnant only to lose them to miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death. I do believe that we can find and/or make some good come from every challenge and tragedy that we experience in life. I believe that God wants us to do that, to be "wounded healers" and to try to help others who will follow in our footsteps or who are walking with us now.

    Thank you for sharing this. (((HUGS))) to you and everyone who is trying to make sense of and cope with they way our lives have played out, which so often is not how we imagine, hoped or dreamed they would or could.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Amy27 April 2012 at 08:24

    Life isn't fair... I gave up on god having a (good) plan. I just don't see it and it breaks my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous27 April 2012 at 20:01

    Life is hard on those people isn't it!! How lucky they are. I too, a totally utterly lapsed Catholic, fail to believe there is a plan. Any God I want to believe in would not have sterilised me as a 6 week foetus. Boo!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Keiko Zoll27 April 2012 at 20:27

    Amazing.

    In the very same appt where my doctor said, "you're infertile," he talked to me about the value of contraception once we're done building our family. With my particular diagnosis, it's possible for me to spontaneously ovulate and become pregnant.

    'You don't want to make a painful decision if you find our you're pregnant after having gone through fertility treatments to build your family," he said.

    He's right. He makes a great point. That said, his bedside manner was terrible. I no longer see him.

    I've stopped questioning the Universe, G-d, whatever you want to call it. I just roll with it now.

    Thanks for commenting for ICLW over at my place! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Quiet Dreams1 May 2012 at 07:10

    I no longer believe that there is a "plan." That is not to say that I do not find meaning in circumstances or in my own personal history. I also do not feel "alone." I think that my conception of "God" has changed quite a bit in the last few years. It is now much more abstract and less personal. But still comforting.

    That doesn't really address what you said here. Just where I'm coming from.

    ReplyDelete

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