Figlia decided after her last feed of the night, that it was time to play. It was 10:43 in the night. I was shot. I phoned my mum (currently we live in the same house, why yes, the same floor) and she held/fed/made her go to sleep.
I handed the baby, turned on my belly, and promptly went to sleep. I haven't slept well on my tummy in a long time, and I did it.
I was woken up at 2 o'clock by her, my feeding duty had started.
Today morning, I did ask my mum if I woke up in between. I did actually, but I have no memory.
So I have 3 and a half hours of sleep on the record for last night.
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Just wondering, when does this 'make a routine for her' begin to happen?
I am currently just adjusting mine to hers. That's all I seem to be doing.
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What is your diapering philosophy?
Do you have a strict schedule, as in changing the baby compulsorily after an interval?
Figlia can't be held in those store-bought swaddle blankets...they are easy-peasy to kick and come out from. We use a cloth shaped into a triangle to tie her, and that ensures the bit of sleep she gets. I don't want to touch her diapers when she is sleeping...but my mum thinks that I must.
If I touch the diaper, sleep is lost. And currently, I want her to sleep as much as she does.
If the diaper is soiled, I change it. But I figure that otherwise, unless there has been a leak, I can let the diaper on for 6 hours? That happens only during the afternoon post-bath nap, but still?
Do you have a philosophy for this?
Gwen was 7.5 weeks old when we got back from visiting family in the US for Christmas, and my husband was staying behind for another week so it was just the two of us, and I decided that that was as good a time as any to try to get onto if not a schedule than at least a routine.
ReplyDeleteIt was a miserable week.
Around 9-10 weeks things started falling into a routine all by themselves, and since then we've had a pretty reliable routine: wake around 7:00am, diaper change, play, eat, play some more, with the first nap starting between 8:00 and 9:00am. That nap could be half an hour or two hours, and depending on its length, there may be a second morning nap after another diaper - play - eat - play schedule. Afternoons things tend to fall apart, in that she'll sometimes just cry for 45 minutes or so, but now that she's started day care in the afternoons (a) I don't have to suffer through it and (b) she's actually taking decent naps there! She used to go to bed between 4:00-5:00pm, and then wake up twice at night to eat, but now that we don't get home until 6:30pm or so from daycare, she goes to bed around 7:00pm four days a week. Sometimes she then only wakes up once before 7:00am; I'm hoping that this becomes more frequent, but we're still adjusting to the new schedule.
Morning nap has just ended, must go -- will come back later to write about diapers!
For us things started getting into a "routine" at around 9 - 10 weeks - by 11 weeks he was stretching to 6 hours at night and soon went to 7 - 8 hours which was AMAZING!
ReplyDeleteWRT the diaper changes, I used to change Kade at every feed - between boobs... so I'd let him feed on the left side and diaper change and then feed on the right to put him back to sleep...
Sending you both much love and hoping that the sandman comes to visit your home VERY soon.
xxx
Baby is awake, changed, fed, and playing. :)
ReplyDeleteAs for diapers, we change every time she wakes up, and sometimes after a bottle when half-way through she puts on her "poo face" and I get clear evidence that a diaper has been soiled. I've lived almost 4 months by the "never wake a sleeping baby" maxim (except once when I had to take her out to day care...I was terrified that she'd scream bloody murder but thankfully she just fussed a bit and then sat in her stroller in a stupor), and it's served me quite well.
I cannot offer you any successful examples of routines, because I mainly adapted my routine to George's. Since I was unable to make him comply with any of routines/schedules I came up.
ReplyDeleteAnd around 3-4 months, sleep went terribly awful for us, and all energy was directed to solving that problem. Afterwards, a pattern emerged by itself, and we adapted when changes occured.
I remember changing nappies everytime he woke up during the first 3 months. After that, it was changed when needed (smelly or full feeling being the main clue).
I am sorry to say that it seems you are heading into the 4 mnths sleep readjustment (it's regression only for a selected few :-)), so get some rest whenever you can.
I definitely bend my sleep routine to Stella. She was doing better (down at 9, up at 1 and 5), but lately it's every two hours again. I think she's going through her 3 months growth spurt. *sigh* That's okay though, it will change again in a week I'm sure. At this point, I'm fine going with her schedule - she's so itty bitty, and she's not crying to be manipulative, but because she's hungry, hot/cold, wet/dirty, or tired or lonely.
ReplyDeleteAs far as changing diapers at night, I used to have to change at every feed. Now I change MAYBE once a night (for the same reason you stated - she wakes fully up and freaks out then!). If I hear/smell a poopy diaper, I'll nurse her on one side, change her quick, and then nurse her back to sleep on the other side. If all seems well, that diaper doesn't change from 9pm-7am. We also have SUPER absorbent cloth diapers that are great at wicking away moisture and holding everything in, so I don't know if that makes a difference?
Good luck!
Obviously I'm not one to give you sleeping through the night advice. If you want that, get the book Bed Timing from the Library, it's super fantastic and totally explains good times and bad times to start sleep training(because at certain points they won't be trained no matter what you do!).
ReplyDeleteBack to routine, well, they were on a solid routine from day 1, every 3 hours they ate for the first 12-14 weeks, night and day like clockwork someone would wake up, I would change that baby, feed that baby then if the other wasn't awake I would wake them up feed and change them, then there is an hour break where I sleep, rinse, repeat. Then when they got a bit older we would bathe and feed and put them to sleep around 830, which is when I would generally go to bed. At 11 when my husband was going to bed he would feed them, change them. Then they would wake by 2am and I would be up. I know your on your own, so it's hard to do that if there is just you!
If she's asleep, leave the diaper and the feeding alone, if she wakes, feed and change. At 4 months everything goes down the crapper until 5.5 months when you can actually start sleep training (and then they did great for a few months, actually slept through the night).
And my number one advice is sleep when ever she is, whenever you can, 10 minutes here, 40 minutes there etc. Unplug your phone, sleep when you can, don't worry about cleaning.
My routine is whatever his is as well. It was the same with Jack and in a few more weeks things should start to becOme more predictable until the next growth spurt or teeth come in. That said, I only wake him if I absolutely have to. You can leave a baby in the diaper until they wake. I change his before he eats as a matter of routine from work and again after if he needs it so that when he falls asleep he is dry and clean. Don't sweat it.
ReplyDeleteI was not able to get my kiddos on a schedule for at least 2 months. And I never woke my babies from sleep to change a diaper unless it exploded. I only woke them to feed if it had been 5 hours or more. Its hard to find a balance between a schedule and giving the baby what they need/want.
ReplyDeleteI don't even remember how often I changed the twins when they were this young. It is all such a blur. I did keep one piece of paper from a notebook I was keeping that held a record of when/how much/they ate and what came out the other end. I think we changed at every feeding at first, and then as 2 months passed, only when it was obvious that it needed to be changed. If there is no diaper rash, then what is the harm of a wet diaper. And if ritualistic changing causes her to cry and for the both of you to lose sleep, then what good is it? Remember (although) it is hard, things will always be changing, and most of the advice you get (even from me), is nothing more than a few words. After worrying so much about getting pregnant, then STAYING pregnant, I had a hard time turning off the worry. Looking back, I see, the mistakes DH and I made were balanced by good judgements at other times. And most of the time it was just a guess.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the sleep schedule, they at first were awake to feed every 3 hours. Then the pandemonium happened. Different naps schedules, different feed schedules. The rules of not waking a sleeping baby don't apply when you have two and just cannot one or the other of them every hour. When one was done eating, the other was "woken up" to feed. Just so that I could get some rest.
You can start some sleep training soon. I recommend it. I did it. Not because I wanted my kids to suffer or because I was (completely) selfish, but because I had realized that at some point there has to be a balance. Figlia cannot have all of you. Just as J and A could not have all of me, or there would be nothing of me left to give. For me, it was in that painful moment-the decision to sleep train, and to stick to it- that I actually felt like a mother, not just a nurturer, but more than that. A person who had to make judgements that my kids were not going to like, to give myself some relief, so that I could be mother they need me to be in the spaces in between. During sleep training, I had to bear their crying (and cried myself), so that I could better soothe their tears later.
And as far as Moms who give advice....it is a long road before you....believe me! :D
Best of luck :D
I can't remember. I think I was too sleep deprived to take note! :)
ReplyDeleteEventually it gets better...and then they get mobile. And then they walk and talk. And then they talk back. Someday, you'll get more sleep, but it will never be as much as you want, or like it was when you were younger.
As far as the diaper goes...my girl would usually stay dry overnight. I certainly never changed her on a schedule. I changed her when I thought she needed changing (or when it was obvious - we had a lot of diaper blowouts) or when she complained. But never when she was sleeping. If it was that bad, it would wake her up without my intervention.
i think around tweleve weeks you should be well on your way to a schedule of sorts, but you do kind of have to adjust your schedule to fit their needs. as far as diapering goes, if louise is sleeping, i let her sleep unless she has a poopy diaper, which usually wakes her up anyway (it really doesn't happen that often). we use huggies nighttime diapers at night, they are much more absorbent than regular diapers. sometimes i even put them on her if we're going out shopping or something as they last quite a bit longer than regular diapers.
ReplyDeleteI think the first 6 months, if not longer, is all about survival. It did not matter what attempts were made, it ended in us both in tears and I just didn't think it was worth it. But, if you are dying in the lack of schedule, by all means try, I'm sorry I don't have better advice.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely did not touch her diaper while she was sleeping unless there was a mess. If she is getting a rash, of course check/change more often. If it's not an issue, I think you're doing fine.
We still don't have a routine, we just go with whatever V has in store for us. Sometimes he goes to bed at midngiht and stays down until 9am, sometimes he wants to stay up all night... more often he's doing the sleeping through the night now. But it's definitely subject to change. With babies this age, it's all about "on demand." Eventually you can work on a routine, but you really have to just answer when she calls. It's hard, I know (*hugs*) Especially the lack of sleep.
ReplyDeleteAd for diaper changes... V very rarely cries for a diaper change. We just change him at every feeding (or every 3 hours while he's awake) or when he wakes up, unless he smells like he needs it. That works for us pretty well. We probably change him about 7 times a day, which is how often he eats.
didn't read the comments yet b/c i have seconds till hungry crying starts...sorry if i duplicate. anyways, during day, i change every 2 or so hours b/c i cloth diaper and don't want leaks. during night, i pile on the diapers and leave him in it 8-12 hours b/c i have.to.sleep. unless i here poop day or night and then i change immediately. during night, i pray to the poop gods that i wont' hear anything and using he just wets at night so i feel ok leaving him in it and he falls back asleep after eating each time so i guess he isn't bothered maybe not mom of the year, but he seems happy so i guess i'm doing ok :) hope that made sense as i'm racing the milk clock....
ReplyDeleteBabies usually start developing a sleep pattern at 2 months. They tend to be more awake after that age too. So till then, we used to change their diapers after every feed... and then as they stayed awake and started having a a schedule, it was much easier to figure out when to change their diapers. We usually changed every 3-4 hours depening upon how full they were.
ReplyDeleteYou are getting there slowly... hang on for a few more weeks, and may be there will be some routine! Though, mind you... a lot of folks back home "do not" believe in sleep routine etc. So if that is something you want for your own piece of mind, you need to work on it and stick to a schedule. Best, if you can get Daddy on the same page!
Ok so the only babies I have are the ones that I care for at work. If she is feeding routinely I would say don't wake a sleeping baby! I usually do diaper changes with feeds or if the baby wakes up crying and needs it. Otherwise I let them sleep at least 3 hours if they will.
ReplyDeleteI have a book that gives tons of advice on how to get the baby to sleep. They definitely do not recommend changing baby at night. I change Timothy before the last evening feeding around 11 pm and then in the morning around 7-8 am - unless I can tell he pooped a lot and suspect it'll bother him. I just make sure I put lots of vaseline on his bum before the night stretch.
ReplyDeletethe sleeping through the night thing depends a lot on whether you bf or formula-feed. Breast milk gets digested very fast - so they cannot go too long without eating. The biggest break Timothy gave me so far was 6 hours between feedings (which meant 5 hours of sleep for me)
I have no advice in this realm, but do notice that you have lots of people happy to help you--wonderful!
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