From Someone Who Joined PAIL

I am not a member of the Healing Salon. Go here if that is where you intend to be. I am writing this post 98 percent for my own sake. I can't answer all the questions.

Somehow, I feel like a culprit having joined PAIL. The entire thought of divisiveness for me on Mel's post was not because of what Mel wrote, but because people seemed to be either attacking or defending....there you go, we were definitely standing at opposite sides.

I wrote two comments on her post, and I am going to place them in toto here:

I am not reading the comments on this post, before I opine (But I am itching to do so.)

I went on PAIL…but I did not really mean to offend or create some alternative universe for myself.

I am happy being on your blogroll (I think I am listed under unexplained infertility). Or I am listed by my old moniker/blog.

I have never felt alienated because I am now mothering. Never.

I never left reading blogs because the authors were pregnant or parenting, and I think that will NEVER EVER be the cause for my quitting reading a blog.

I just thought that it was another listing, and did not really see some big negative coming out of it. Obviously, I did not really think it thaaaat deeply as you have.

I would never quit your blogroll or stop hanging around SQ.

Now can I go read the comments. I am sure they are more persuasive and better-put than mine.

I never meant to create an alternative to you. That’s it. It never ever crossed my mind.

xo

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Okay, I just read the comments.

a: Ouch, don’t hit me with that pitchfork…that hurts.

And Mel: I have never ever underestimated the work you have done in the ALI blogosphere, and what you continue to do.

Also, well, the contention that those who joined PAIL was because the normal ALI blogosphere was not serving them….I can’t accept that for myself. I just thought it was a great way to connect. I have signed up for PAIL, but I haven’t signed up for everything that it intends to do. I do ICLW, CDLC and Show and Tell with you, but I can never do Grateful Said – not because, I don’t get awesome comments, but because I get too many awesome comments. Similarly, when I went on PAIL, I really did not consider too deeply if I would be involved or would like to involve in everything that is stated.

I am very sorry for this. I don’t think I ever wanted to offend you. And please don’t generalize about why people went on PAIL.

There are so many activities that are hosted by several bloggers in the blogosphere, and so many people participate. I never figured that Elphie’s activity would be considered colliding.

I just want to say a few things in my regard:

1. I have never stayed away from pregnancy blogs even when I was TTC, even when I was floating somewhere in the havehope abyss.

2. I will not shy away from commenting based on someone else's success.

3. I did not quit visiting people after I crossed over.

4. I DO NOT FEEL ALIENATED. I don't feel unsupported. I am happy to be here, with all of you.

5. I have never felt out of place because, 'uh, I am a mum now, where do I go?'. I have not felt the need to start a new blog. This is my place. This is where my memories are!

And just one thing, with the kind of language that was used on Mel's posts (the comments), why do we create a hullabaloo to those who leave stupid comments on mainstream IF related posts? There is one thing to not agreeing, but the jabs taken were a little awful sometimes.