The first thing I remember on entering the operation theatre was that there were way too many male OT technicians...
I did not need much help getting on the operation table. There was an orchestrated flurry of activity around me.
The anaesthesiologist came in. He was bursting with sunshine and rainbows....he told me it won't hurt a bit....my bare back-open gown was opened further....a cold liquid was applied. I could sense the needle approaching my spine*~. And I stared at the blobs of light right over my head. I kind of lost it at that very moment.
I told myself - I won't put my body through this ever again. Never.
The needle entered. The deed was done. I lied down, and everything picked up momentum.
Remember, this is me....the one who was sure of wanting this again.
So hubby and I are chatting a few days after Figlia is born. And he says something to the effect of, "We can try again in a couple of years..."
Remember, this is him....who has always remained non-committal on the prospect of TTC again, who always answered with 'We'll see.'...
Oh boy, this is so funny. The joke is on me. Totally.
But as of now, I feel free.
I have had a huge psychological release because of Figlia. (If) and (When) we enter this fray again, my anxiety would be down-notched just by the fact that she is there.
*~ Spinal was painful for me....both the administration, as well as recovery during CBub's birth.
(Image Courtesy: http://wwwcdn.net/ev/assets/images/vectors/afbig/couple-clip-art.jpg; Image not used for commercial reasons and no copyright claimed.)
It's possible he assumes that you might want another child and are willing to go through it again. Or perhaps he sees you so happy and he discovers parenthood is really awesome and he really wants another. Anyway, quite a change for him. :-)
ReplyDeleteI look at your story and see a light at the end of my tunnel. Thank you. I am so happy that your little girl has given you some much deserved peace.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad for the hope you seem to have now that Figlia is here too. Spinals are painful but better than nothing!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, the boys are always good for the "next time" once you've decided there won't be one. I'm glad you're keeping an open mind. And I'm glad that Figlia has let you know that you can get through successfully.
ReplyDeleteLike you said last time, she has changed everything. It doesn't surprise me that you (and the husband) feel differently about many things.
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