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Perfect Moment Monday: Untutored Calmness

(The roots of this post are that I was miserable quite a while ago that CBub won't be able to preside in a position of which she would have been the first and obvious choice in my brother's wedding).

One of the past weekends was my bro's wedding. And at one point of time, the children in our wedding party gravitated on their own towards the place which would have otherwise held CBub, had she been alive. They played and just enjoyed themselves while at it.

And.

And I found that I did not feel bad at all watching them doing this. I did not hold it against the children for being against my 'adult/grown-up' demands for leaving the space empty. Very significantly, I felt none of the pain I thought would happen at such a thing.

The perfection of this moment lies in the fact that I remained calm and unmoved when I had originally thought I would be agonizingly excited over it. That I did not clam up or had to hold myself back.

For more perfect moments, go visit Lori.

Comments

  1. Anonymous26 December 2011 at 16:58

    Very wise of you! I hope you enjoyed your brother's wedding.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Her Royal Fabulousness26 December 2011 at 19:26

    I'm so glad it went well for you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous26 December 2011 at 19:35

    Sounds like you're finding your inner balance?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lori Lavender Luz26 December 2011 at 23:22

    Truly significant. Such evidence of your healing your grief, while still loving CBub with all your being.

    I am so proud of you. Thank you for noticing this and for sharing it :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. areyoukiddingme27 December 2011 at 01:01

    I wondered how things had gone. I'm glad you didn't feel badly when then children did what they wanted. It's easier that way, I think - kids don't have any idea, so you can't really blame them for anything.

    ReplyDelete
  6. jenicini27 December 2011 at 01:37

    <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jacksmom27 December 2011 at 07:02

    I'm glad that is how it played out for you. I was not sure when your brother's wedding was exactly, but given the timing, it is significant that you surprised yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  8. BB27 December 2011 at 08:21

    May this calmness continue and you stay strong! Glad you could celebrate your brothers wedding!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Kathy27 December 2011 at 08:22

    That is huge and I am proud of you. I know how bittersweet events like that can be, when we wish our children could have been there as we once imagined hoped they would.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Quiet Dreams31 December 2011 at 20:09

    So often I have found that the anticipation of the pain is much worse than the experience itself.

    So glad this occasion was better than you feared.

    ReplyDelete

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