Yes, I would answer to that call(atleast till today evening, coz I am still feeling it).
We went to catch a certain movie yesterday evening. The movie was lovely, and had Sparrows, Mermaids and Frogs. And a monkey too. And yes, too many pirates!
Anyways, after the show was over, we (DH & I) were walking around the mall, and around a turn, I found a young dad with a baby in the stroller.
The dad was busy doing something, and very spontaneously, I bent down to baby-talk with the baby. She was about 4 months old and very cute. I touched her cheek, and snapped my fingers, and she followed the sound and the movement of my fingers. She even smiled! I looked up and her Dad was looking at me playing with the baby and smiled at me.
I looked at hubby, and his disdain was obvious. I immediately quit doing whatever I was and followed after him.
'Why were you touching the baby?''Uh, just like that.''What if the person would not have liked it?''I think he did not mind.''Yeah, coz he is good. Not everyone is like that.'
I realized that I should not have touched the baby. I was just out of the theatre. Would I want random strangers coming and touching my baby? Not knowing if they had just eaten something, come from the loo or God knows what?
I realized that if the baby catches a cold or something, the dad will remember the lady who touched his kid. Jeezus, what the hell was I thinking?
We strolled around a bit more, and went to McDonald's after that. While eating, DH said,
'If you don't mind, can I say something?''Ya?''Never touch a baby like that.''OK.'
((hugs)) I wish I had more to say... I can see all three sides: yours, hubby's, and the parent-of-the-touched-baby. Sometimes, I wish things were easy...
ReplyDeleteI know that I'm feeling protective of you, and you raise a good point..but unless you put your hands on the baby's mouth or hands, it's unlikely that you'd pass anything bad to the baby. It's amazing how much attention and comfort a baby can bring. I've seen elderly people light up around babies, and calm down if they are agitated. I'm glad this father was understanding.
ReplyDeleteOh love, it is ok to touch other people's babies. It was ok to touch mine when he was tiny anyway. Maybe the Birdman is too close to your little Sunshine, too close the the grief to see you touching a baby. But if it was ok for you to be free and easy with your love and your feeling then maybe just do it away from him.
ReplyDeletelove and xo (and I saw that group where did it go?)
I think it's great that you got in there and communicated with a wee one. Baby touching, especially the cheeks is super common, like every time we go in public. Doesn't bother me a bit, and it certainly wouldn't bother a father, I always find the moms are more germaphobes....now if you picked up a baby out of the stroller that would be a problem!
ReplyDeleteI really think Pundelina is right and Birdman is still uber sensitive because of what you all went through.
ReplyDelete{{{Hugs}}}
Here from ICLW -
ReplyDeleteHugs and my thoughts are with you. I think it's ok to touch and show your love for babies, but there are a lot of mom germaphobes as Nadine says. Don't be offended if you run into one :)
Well, I don;t think you can stop people from touching your baby..not here t least. Danny gets picked up and carried around all the time. Since his first trip when he was 3 months old! I didnt mind. I still don't mind it. So no, you are definitely not stupido!
ReplyDeletePS: wanna share my weed? ;)
It depends on where you do this. Where I come from, people are touchy feely, the Latin way. But in Germany, hey are definitely not.
ReplyDeleteSo, from my point of view, you are not estupido. Sometimes the heart makes you do something that the mind is not advising. And most of the times the heart overrules the mind. So you did what your heart yearned to do - interact with a baby. Don't blame yourself too much. And don't blame Birdman either, he is just watching out for you.
Ok so when I started working NICU a few years ago I realized or learned that touching peoples babies is often not a good plan cause some babes are a bit compromised as far as their immune system goes and the whole germ thing. However I also know that many parents don't mind (I'm just a bit of a germ freak cause I'm a nurse) and many many people touch babies without thinking anything of it. I would guess that maybe Birdman is a little over sensitive of this? Or at least the reaction was a little harsh.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, this post made me smile, not cringe. I can just see the moment of joy you experienced while interacting with that baby. Those moments are important! If it was an issue for the dad, he would have said something. I'm glad your heart was open to experiencing that moment of happiness and interaction!
ReplyDeleteI think thats a totally normal thing to do, people come and talk and touch my baby quite often and I don't mind at all. Babies connect people, I love how random strangers will talk to you when you have a baby. Don't stop doing what comes naturally!
ReplyDeletei'm in awe of you for being strong enough to touch a baby.
ReplyDeletei tend to be somewhat of a germophobe myself. but like other people have said, the father would have said something if he was bothered.
Sometimes we just act following our heart. Yes I agree, the dad may not have liked it and probably you won't do it again but you couldn't help it. Much love, Fran
ReplyDeleteSome people are touchy-feelie, some people are not. My husband and I would have been horrified if anyone touched our daughter, because we are crazy like that. Most people are not. I don't know if Birdman is more sensitive because of your baby, or if he is just more sensitive that way in general. Either way, I think it's great that you have not lost your ability to interact with babies, because they are such a joy.
ReplyDeletePerhaps the dad could tell the joy that brief interaction brought you. I tell my immunocompromised or premature pts' parents to hang a little "do not touch" or "wash your hands" sign on the stroller/carrier or toss a light blanket over it in a way that partially shields them when they are in public places and should not be touched. If the baby was out in the open & the dad did not yell or freak out, I would think it was just fine. I am sure you were also not filthy or diseased looking. Prob just looked like a sweet mom stopping to smile at a baby. Which is what you are.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from ICLW. I don't think you did anything wrong touching that baby. I once get yelled at by a germaphobe mom and felt terrible about it, but it didn't really change anything. I work with children in their homes and often pick up younger siblings because I can't resist. I think your hubby may have been a little harsh.
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm here for ICLW. Don't feel bad about touching the baby. You were so sweet and the dad didn't mind. This story brings tears to my eyes <3
ReplyDeleteDon't let the worry that you did the wrong thing steal the happiness that momment brought you. You were not stupid. You acted as your heart led you...and I think that is something we all need to do more of in life. Besides, like the others have said, the dad would have spoken up had he been bothered.
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you.
It's hard to resist touching babies, they are kinda irresistible, and it is programmed into a woman's DNA to fawn over them. Don't sweat it.
ReplyDeletePS> I also believe that touching a pregnant belly is programmed into our DNA. I can't prove it, and it's totally inappropriate at times, but the urge can be overwhelming.