Birdman, on Saturday, inched a year closer to becoming 35 years old. His daughter should have been there. That would have been his gift.
I was pregnant on my birthday. Even though I had no explicit gifts from him on the day, the fact that I was carrying such a sought-after-dreamed-about baby in itself was my greatest joy. I had this vague realization that his baby would be there, out and about in the world, on his birthday.
It was not to be.
I did not give him anything for his birthday. Seriously, I did not buy him any gifts. He had an office event and he had his dinner there. It is only yesterday night that we had his birthday dinner.
It was pulling me down to think that it was a 16th when she died. On the day my hubby had his birthday this year, my daughter had been dead exactly three months.
Oh, my dear... Many, many hugs! Words fail me yet again and all I have left are hugs.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, always.
Oh, there are no words for this. Like kmina said, just hugs.
ReplyDeleteI'm always reading and wishing I had something to say, but fall short.
ReplyDeleteTis weekend, A friend of mines wife had a still birth, little girl, 38 weeks pregnant, I found out via facebook, and it took me hours to write something, I wanted to say something that wasn't trite, that expressed how awful it was, and I couldn't find the words, I noticed that most of our friends said nothing, and I just offered condolences, anyway, the point to this storym is even though I mean well, I often find that my words are just not enough.
Hugs.
I, like the others before me, wish that I could say something, anything, that would ease the pain of losing your daughter. I know that is not possible, so I offer you a listening ear and a open heart. Hugs to you during such a hard, hard time.
ReplyDeleteMy heart broke a little upon reading that last line, St. E. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Maddy
Oh honey.... I dont have any words, but I'm thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of love...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteNo words at all...just lots of {{{hugs}}} and love.
ReplyDeletelove to you.
ReplyDeleteNo words but many thoughts and much love. I looked out the window this morning and remembered Lola - something about the tree branches elicited thoughts ...
ReplyDeleteI am here reading. And abiding with you.
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday to Birdman.
Here with you, though far away.
ReplyDelete