There are too many things that abound around me.
And my ears! In UsualCity I could hear the cry of a baby coming from the adjacent building. And here in City X, there is an infant in the neighbourhood whose cry I hear now and then. It does not affect me in the sense of making me cry, but it seems that I take notice of it all the time.
My aunt is here. She lives in a coastal area. I told her last year that I would bring the baby to meet her. I also wanted my kid to have a flavour of the beach. Well, that is not going to happen.
My aunt is knitting something. The wool she is using is partly from the lot she had for knitting Kaiser/Lola's sweater.
I think of Lola every day. On Monday I went to meet the SuperPed here in City X, and was surrounded by a sea of babies and family in the waiting area. He took me in immediately and I was crying by the time I came out. And the sea still existed. Lola should have been here for a routine visit/vaccination or whatever. Instead, she came summarized in a paper file. It hurts big time.
And my ears! In UsualCity I could hear the cry of a baby coming from the adjacent building. And here in City X, there is an infant in the neighbourhood whose cry I hear now and then. It does not affect me in the sense of making me cry, but it seems that I take notice of it all the time.
I think about you every day and I wonder how you are and how you are coping. And I see so many baby related things every day, everywhere, and I think how you must be hurting. And I so wish there were something I could do...
ReplyDeleteLola should have been here.
I am sorry I am not helping.
Kmina couldn't have said it better. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThe reminders of her everywhere are so tangible, while she is forever intangible. Thinking of you. Abiding with you.
ReplyDeleteOh, hon. Even without all those things around you, you would still be thinking of Lola every day. Big hug.
ReplyDeleteEvery step forward is so hard- my heart breaks for you. I so badly wish I could do something to help, but sadly, this is the most personal of battles.
ReplyDeleteI think of you so often throughout the day and am sending all the love and strength I can muster. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteOf course you have all these reminders around you - of course you do... Sending you a hug.
ReplyDeleteDitto what Kmina said.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you, sending hugs and much love.
I wish you so much peace dear friend.
ReplyDeletexxx
Sending love. I remembered realising there were babies and pregnant women everywhere after losing Matilda - it's awful.
ReplyDeleteI bet there isn't one single thing that doesn't reflect Lola - she is a part of you. I wish this wasn't happening. Silly to say, because that is everyone's wish.
ReplyDeleteSending you much love and peace.
Also ditto what Kmina said.
ReplyDeleteThe visit to super Ped must have been excruciating. I think of you so much, with all the baby things around you. All the baby things around me remind me of you and Lola. Holding you close.
ReplyDeleteno words cept to say "you linger in my thoughts often".
ReplyDelete~x~
Oh dear friend...abiding with you and wishing I could be there to hold your hand and offer a shoulder to cry on.
ReplyDeleteI think of you and Lola so often. I wish my heartfelt wish for peace for you was enough....
ReplyDelete